A Quote by Steven Wright

While I was gone, somebody rearranged on the furniture in my bedroom. They put it in exactly the same place it was. When I told my roommate, he said: "Do I know you?" — © Steven Wright
While I was gone, somebody rearranged on the furniture in my bedroom. They put it in exactly the same place it was. When I told my roommate, he said: "Do I know you?"
Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, "Do I know you?
A lot of people said, Who do you think you are? I told them I know exactly who I am and I'll tell you exactly where I'm going.
And then there were the wallflowers who had recognized for years that the thing was hopeless, who had found in that information a kind of calm. They no longer tried, with a bright and desperate effort, to sustain a conversation with somebody's brother, somebody's usher, somebody's roommate, somebody's roommate's usher's brother... The category of wallflower who had given up on all this was very quiet, not indifferent, only quiet. And she always brought a book.
I live in the same house I’ve lived in for 25 years. I haven’t gone off and bought mansions, you know, even though my subject is living… living in a mansion wouldn’t do for my readers. I have to keep my credibility alive with my readers, so we’re in the same place. I just make that place nicer and nicer. And… and that’s a secret. And people don’t know that. People think, oh, she lives in this fabulous place, it’s the same old place. It started out like a farm, it got to be a farmette, then it got to be an estatelet. I built a wall, it helped a lot. But it’s the same place, the same grounded nature.
Somebody told me when Abe Lincoln was a young man, studying by firelight, he said, "I will work hard. I will prepare myself. And my time will come." And you know, that's exactly what I said about myself and football - What do you think? Were Abe and I both just lucky ducks?
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
Didier once told me, in a rambling, midnight dissertation, that a dream is the place where a wish and a fear meet. When the wish and the fear are exactly the same, he said, we call the dream a nightmare.
I've gone into cage matches, I've gone into Ultimate X, and I've said this before: I know exactly what I've signed up for, and I'm not afraid of anything in front of me, and I'm willing to do anything and whatever it takes to come out with my hand raised.
You marry your friends when you stay with your friends. It's hard enough to find a good roommate, let alone a good person you can live with and fall in love with at the same time. You might as well just take your roommate, if you can find one, and marry them. I mean, if you can find somebody that doesn't drive you crazy, I would say marry that.
What has gone wrong with the men who are ruling I'd like to know who they think they are fooling They told us that torture was over and gone but everyone knows the same torture goes on
Somebody said on television, somebody said last night on television: Nobody has gotten rich betting against Donald Trump. That's in my lifetime. That's not just for this election cycle. I went in, and people said: "He's not gonna run." I've gone through this with you.
I have a very good sense of my body and where it's at. Although I don't feel the ground in the same way that somebody else would, I'm very aware... I can feel pressure, and I know exactly where my toes are and exactly where my heel is.
In my 20s, I was a freelance writer with little money and living in a rabbit warren one-and-a-half-bedroom with a roommate.
Know you got a roommate, call me when it's no one there. Put the key under the mat and you know I'll be over there
Once, when Tom was over here, to tease Rose, I asked him, "Before she was born, can you remember? Were things just the same as they are these days? Did it still rain and get dark and all the stuff it does now? Did the sun go up and down in exactly the same way?" Yes," Tom said, and then he smiled at Rose and said, "No. Not really. Not exactly the same way.
I think the football world needs to wake up and recognize that women, while the game is played by a different gender, it is exactly the same sport and the qualities involved with having to manage that is exactly the same then it would be for a men's team.
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