A Quote by Steven Wright

I rented a lottery ticket. I won a million dollars. But I had to give it back.

Steven Wright

Quote Topics

Back Dollars Give Had Lottery Lottery Ticket Million Million Dollars Ticket

Quote Author

Steven Wright
American - Comedian
Born: December 6, 1955

A poor old man held the winning ticket on a half million dollar lottery. Hearing the old man might be surprised at the shock, the local pastor was asked to break the news gradually. The pastor made a customary call, and while visiting casually asked the old man what he would do with a half million dollars if he had it. The old man replied, "why, I'd give half of it to you." Whereupon the pastor dropped dead.

Art Linkletter

I had a teammate whose motto was, 'If I make a million dollars, I must spend a million dollars.' I was like, 'If I make a million dollars, I'm hoping I can keep a million dollars.'

Robert Horry

If people are going to give, they're going to give. And it doesn't matter if you give a dollar or five dollars or a hundred dollars or a million dollars; it's all according to your ability.

Jon Huntsman, Sr.

Many people say, "When I get a million dollars, then I'll be happy because I'll have security," but that's not necessarily so. Most people who acquire a million dollars want another and then another. Or they could be like a good friend of mine who made and lost every dime of a million dollars. It didn't bother him a bit. He wasn't excited about it, but he explained to me, "Zig, I still know everything necessary to make another million dollars, and I've learned what to do not to lost it. I'll simply go back to work and earn it again.

Zig Ziglar

Why give a million dollars to someone if they have not proved that they can make a million dollars?

Carmen Busquets

A newspaper man wrote an article that I had 300 million dollars, well, I wish I had a million dollars

Meyer Lansky

No one makes a million dollars with minimal effort unless they win the lottery.

Gary Vaynerchuk

You go and you buy a lottery ticket. You've got just as much chance of getting struck by lightning as you do of winning the lottery.

Bill Cosby

If you told me to sit in a room, and you had a million dollars cash stacked right there and said, 'Don't move, don't twitch, don't do anything,' without a doubt, the million dollars would be mine.

Tim Howard

Land on Mars, a round-trip ticket - half a million dollars. It can be done.

Elon Musk

I was worth about over a million dollars when I was 23 and over ten million dollars when I was 24, and over a hundred million dollars when I was 25 and... it wasn't that important — because I never did it for the money.

Steve Jobs

The year I married my American husband, I won the lottery - and I tried to give it to somebody else, because I was already approved - not the money lottery, the immigration lottery.

Catherine O'Hara

Luck is not as random as you think. Before that lottery ticket won the jackpot, someone had to buy it.

Vera Nazarian

People don't really want to hear me say this, but a black person who will give a million dollars to the Museum of Modern Art but won't give a million to the Studio Museum in Harlem is simply mistaken.

Kerry James Marshall

Performing magic has a lot to do with the arrangement of apparent coincidences and providing pathways along which desires can travel, or, to put it in more basic terms, there's little point in sigilizing for a lottery win if you don't also buy a lottery ticket.