A Quote by Steven Wright

Why doesn’t the fattest man in the world become a hockey goalie? — © Steven Wright
Why doesn’t the fattest man in the world become a hockey goalie?
Have you ever seen that guy who has the record for fattest man in the world? Bob Hughes, the fattest man in the world... 1400 pounds. Ladies and gentlemen, the man has let himself go.
It's kind of funny the way it happened - the way I became a goalie. I was playing forward on this one team when I was little, and there was another team that needed a backup goalie. I mean, to me it just meant a chance to play more hockey, so I was all for it.
I played street hockey in Riverside Park when I was a kid. I played goalie. I didn't make the hockey team in college, so I played lacrosse instead. I didn't play hockey again for 20 to 25 years, and then my son became interested in the game. I decided to pick it up again. A friend let me play backup on his team.
Over the weekend, Vladimir Putin scored eight goals during a hockey game. It happened just after he had the goalie executed.
I've tried to incorporate new ways of playing the game. That's why you hear people call me a 'hybrid goalie' and say I adjust to the situation, never doing the same thing over and over like a butterfly goalie. I try to see what works and hopefully with my talent I'm able to play it and make it happen.
I have recall. I don't know why or how. I had a guy once who said he played against me in novice [league, for kids under nine], for the Detroit Lasers. And I said, "Oh yeah, we beat you in the tournament, 8-1 and I think I scored seven goals, and the goalie was left-handed." And he was, "Oh my God. I was the goalie!" .
The one thing I'd always wanted to do in my career is push myself out of my comfort zone - I think I'm really comfortable with being uncomfortable. So that's why I played pro men's hockey, that's why I played softball and hockey at the same time, that's why I'm not afraid to speak up - that's just who I am.
Only a goalie can appreciate what a goalie goes through.
The man's world must become a man's and a woman's world. Why are we afraid?
Because the demands on the goalie are mostly mental, it means that for a goalie the biggest enemy is himself. Not a puck, not a opponent, not a quirk of size or style. The stress and anxiety he feels when he plays, the fear of failing, the fear of being embarrassed, the fear of being physically hurt, all symptoms of his position, in constant ebb and flow, but never disappearing. The successful goalie understands these neuroses, accept them, and put them under control. The unsuccessful goalie is distracted by them, his mind in knots. His body quickly follows.
We can't play stupid hockey, dumb hockey, greedy hockey, selfish hockey. We have to put the team ahead of our personal feelings.
The English play hockey in any weather. Thunder, lightning, plague of locusts... nothing can stop the hockey. Do not fight the hockey, for the hockey will win.
They're happy to be Siamese twins. They feel blessed. But the rest of us have to go through the world alone. And they don't. And because they have this great attitude, they have a lot of friends. They were the kings of the prom. You know, they were in the state championship hockey team. You know, they're the goalie. And it's just they're a couple of winners who happen to be Siamese twins.
Each team has a net liner, a goalie, and five attackers. We have two defenders on the ice and three forwards. Our forwards are left winger, centre man and a right winger. We work as units of five. In ice hockey you go out and you go as hard as you can for 35 to 45 seconds, then we change.
Growing up, I'd never play goalie in street hockey or at shinny. I liked playing out. So the entire time I played goal, I liked handling the puck better than most.
I started playing soccer at age 6 and played both outfield and goalie. Back then, no one wanted to go on goalie - coaches would make deals with me so I'd do it. It's a tough position as a kid.
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