A Quote by Steven Wright

I wish, when I was first born, the first thing I said was "Quote" so the last thing I said before I died would be "Unquote.

Steven Wright

Quote Topics

Before Before I Die Born Died First First Thing Last Quote Said The First Thing Thing Wish Would Would Be

Quote Author

Steven Wright
American - Comedian
Born: December 6, 1955

I wish the first word I ever said was the word "quote", so right before I die I could say "unquote".

Steven Wright

"When you wake up in the morning, Pooh," said Piglet at last, "what's the first thing you say to yourself?" "What's for breakfast?" said Pooh. "What do you say, Piglet?" "I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?" said Piglet . Pooh nodded thoughtfully. "It's the same thing," he said. "What's that?" the Unbeliever asked. "Wisdom from the Western Taoist,"I said. "It sounds like something from Winnie-the-Pooh," he said. "It is," I said. "That's not about Taoism," he said. "Oh, yes it is," I said.

Benjamin Hoff

When you wake up in the morning, Pooh," said Piglet at last, "what's the first thing you say to yourself?" "What's for breakfast?" said Pooh. "What do you say, Piglet?" "I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?" said Piglet. Pooh nodded thoughtfully. "It's the same thing," he said.

A. A. Milne

Do you remember the last thing you said to me? The last thing you did to me? And what was the last thing I said to you? Because trust me when I said it I knew it was the last thing I’d ever say.

Jay Asher

One of the reasons I believe in jazz is that the oneness of man can come through the rhythm of your heart. It’s the same anyplace in the world, that heartbeat. It’s the first thing you hear when you’re born — or before you’re born — and it’s the last thing you hear.

Dave Brubeck

The first thing I said to myself on 9/11 was, 'There go our civil rights.' I found out by comparing notes later that George Carlin and I both said that at the exact same time. That's the first thing that popped into our head.

Penn Jillette

Something feels weird," he told Laura. That wasn't the first thing he said to her. The first thing was "I love you," because it's a good thing to say if you can mean it, and Shadow did.

Neil Gaiman

One thing he always said, and I love this quote and I really believe it, my ex said, 'You don't truly know a person until they don't get what they want. That's when they show you who they are.' You wouldn't think that the person you were married to and were with for 10 years and taught you the quote would be the best number one example to prove it.

Jeannie Mai

"Hello," he greeted her cheerfully. "You must be Alan of Trebond. You're very hardy to have made it this far the first day. Has anyone said what we try to learn in here?" Alanna said the first thing that came to her lips. "The only thing I know is that I jump when I'm told to and I have no free time."

Tamora Pierce

Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote,' so that on my death bed, my last words could be 'end quote.'

Steven Wright

The first thing I said if I sat on the Iron Throne would probably be, 'Ouch!' It's actually painful because it's made of swords. But my first Royal Edict would be, 'Somebody get rid of this damn chair!'

Eugene Simon

I would answer with the words of the Stasi alumnus Wolfgang Schmidt, who was asked that question: "What about these Americans who say, I have nothing to hide?" And he said, and I quote: "This is very naïve. This is the reason that the government collects the information in the first place to use against you. The only way to prevent that is to prevent the information from being collected in the first place." End quote.

Ray McGovern

On My First Driving Lesson “First things first: A car has five gears. What is that smell?…Okay, first thing before that first thing: Farting in a car that’s not moving makes you an asshole.

Justin Halpern

I wasn't playing mind games with anybody, I just said what I said. I am responsible for it, but I wish everybody would fall asleep for that one and let me go out there and do my thing.

Pedro Martinez

President Carter famously said the hostages were the first thing he thought about in the morning and the last thing he thought about at night. It was a downright foolish thing to say, because it made the people holding the hostages realize that they had an awful lot of influence over the United States.