A Quote by Steven Wright
Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?
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There's been times where I sold the place out, and I walked in and the guy's like, 'Uh, ID?' 'No, you can't ID me, man. I just sold this place out.' People are just doing their jobs, but I think if you're working the door at a venue where there's a headliner, you should at least be like, 'OK, this is the dude.'
You know what's funny is that I have this ongoing relationship with the city of Washington D.C. I went to George Washington University, and my nickname was K-Dub - based on G-Dub - and I'm now on the board of trustees at George Washington University.
Actually, you know who gave the shortest inauguration speech in history? George Washington. It was only like three minutes long. Well, sure. George Washington couldn't tell a lie.
I have the same birthday as George Washington. No I don't. I don't even know who George Washington is.
I think we need people in Washington who really have more of a sense of a George Washington approach to it, which is to serve and go home. I think far too many of both parties see it as a career. And I don't think that's good for our country.
What good would it be to fight a war with the British and end up with your own king? Nobody had any idea that George Washington would be George Washington.
To each of my Nephews, William Augustine Washington, George Lewis, George Steptoe Washington, Bushrod Washington, and Samuel Washington, I give one of my swords or Cutteaux of which I may be Possesed; and they are to chuse in the order they are named. These Swords are accompanied with an injuction not to unsheath them for the purpose of shedding blood, except it be for self defense, or in the defense of their Country and its rights; and in the latter case, to keep them unsheathed, and prefer falling with them in their hands, to the relenquishment thereof.
You think of George Washington, this man who was larger than life, and in some ways he was. But at the same time, he's just a person.
George Washington Bridge? You throw yourself off the Brooklyn Bridge, traditionally. George Washington Bridge, who does that?
What I really lick my chops for is when you get the offensive rebounds at the end of the third quarter, fourth quarter. That really just sucks the life out of the opponent. You can see it in their face, especially when you're on the road, it just takes the whole energy out of the arena. That's what I live for.
I think being an artist, or just being creative, or imaginative, or aware, where I think everybody starts out, and by about the age of 10, that's been pretty effectively whipped out by education.
Whipped cream isn't whipped cream at all if it hasnt been whipped with whips, just like poached eggs isn't poached eggs unless it's been stolen in the dead of the night.
In their day, no man worthy of the presidency would ever stoop to campaigning for it. George Washington was asked to serve. Decades later, his successors were also expected to sit by the phone.
The Democratic Party does not want anybody to have a photo ID because that would have a very negative impact on cheating! If you require a photo ID, that pretty much shuts out cheating. Well, it doesn't shut it out. It just makes it harder, and that's why they don't want it.
I'm never surprised by controversies that are whipped up in Washington.
But you know, where did the Brontes go to college? Where did George Eliot go to college? Where did Thomas Paine or Thomas Jefferson or George Washington go? Did George Washington go to college? This idea which we now have that people ought to have these credentials is really ridiculous. Where did Homer go to college?
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