A Quote by Steven Wright

Only one in four jokes ever works, and I still can't predict what people will laugh at.

Steven Wright

Quote Topics

Ever Four Jokes Laugh Only People Predict Still Will Works

Quote Author

Steven Wright
American - Comedian
Born: December 6, 1955

I learned all those jokes in second grade. Second grade is really where they tell you those horrific jokes, racist jokes and misogynistic jokes that you have no idea what they mean, and you just memorize them because they have a very strong effect, they make people laugh in this kind of nervous, horrible way, and it's only later that you realize that you've got a head full of crap.

Chuck Palahniuk

The funny thing is, when I've gone through the relentless editing process, my editor and I are amazed the Mercy Watson books still make us laugh. The same jokes that made us laugh the first time around still make us laugh in the 16th rendition.

Kate DiCamillo

I have, like, two and a half years of failed jokes that I know I wouldn't repeat, but I certainly have no comprehension of what definitely works. And the only gauge that I can go by is, 'This makes me laugh,' and is joyful... I like to, if possible, do things that people can enjoy and it doesn't take anybody down.

Taran Killam

I make comedies and I always try... I don't try but I allow to have at least 5% of the jokes or have some jokes that I know will be understood by only about 5% of the audience. It's that guy in the corner who gets it and laughs. But he has to have his jokes too. That's part of my audience. Part of my audience is the people who will only get certain things.

Alexander Payne

I use a lot of humor, and I follow the saying that if you want to tell people the truth, you better make them laugh first, otherwise, they will shoot you. So I can tell you a joke and maybe you will laugh at the beginning. But it's not about telling jokes.

Sayed Kashua

I've learned through experience that you can't ever predict what's going to happen with any show. When I signed on to 'Ugly Betty,' I just prayed that I wouldn't get fired after the pilot, and four years later, I was still doing it.

Becki Newton

I've written four jokes ever about cakes. But because they were show jokes, they were on the telly a lot. And everywhere I go people give me cupcakes. I don't eat them, I give them away.

Sarah Millican

Almost anything makes me laugh, especially jokes at my own expense. And I will never, ever admit to being ticklish anywhere.

Judd Nelson

I crack jokes all the time. Even when I have a fight, I will make a joke, and people will laugh.

Nargis Fakhri

You hear a lot of jokes every once in a while about 'Silent Cal Coolidge.' The joke is on the people who make the jokes. Look at his record. He cut the taxes four times. We had probably the greatest growth and prosperity that we've ever known. I have taken heed of that because if he did that by doing nothing, maybe that's the answer.

Ronald Reagan

It only works because we still amuse each other. After we have been working with other people, it is so refreshing to laugh unreservedly when we are back together again.

Adrian Edmondson

I use mother-in-law jokes, kid jokes, tax jokes - anything that works.

Nipsey Russell

You can never predict how market will react. You can model it. You may try to predict it, but weather and markets and risk, only God knows because only he has seen tomorrow.

Rakesh Jhunjhunwala

I always knew I wanted to do comedy. I like making people laugh. I started out young just making my family laugh and trying to make kids laugh in school and getting into plays. I think it's the only thing I know how to do so hopefully it works out.