A Quote by Susan Forward

Children who are not encouraged to do, to try, to explore, to master, and to risk failure, often feel helpless and inadequate. Over-controlled by anxious, fearful parents, these children often become anxious and fearful themselves. This makes it difficult for them to mature. Many never outgrow the need for ongoing parental guidance and control. As a result, their parents continue to invade, manipulate, and frequently dominate their lives.

Susan Forward

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Anxious Become Children Continue Control Controlled Difficult Dominate Encouraged Explore Failure Fearful Feel Frequently Guidance Helpless Inadequate Invade Lives Makes Manipulate Many Master Mature Need Never Often Ongoing Outgrow Over Parental Parental Guidance Parents Result Risk Them Themselves Try

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Susan Forward
Author
Born: May 14, 1938

Children need parents who will let them grow up to be themselves, but parents often have personal agendas they try to impose on their children.

Harold S. Kushner

I'm fearful and anxious for my family in ways that I've never been fearful or anxious for myself. I'm completely vulnerable to their pain, both physical and emotional. It's wild. And I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Mark Deklin

The authoritarian child-rearing style so often found in working-class families stems in part from the fact that parents see aroundthem so many young people whose lives are touched by the pain and delinquency that so often accompanies a life of poverty. Therefore, these parents live in fear for their children's future--fear that they'll lose control, that the children will wind up on the streets or, worse yet, in jail.

Lillian B. Rubin

If we're honest, we all have some measure of wrong believing in our lives. If you don't believe this, all you need to do is ask yourself, 'Have I often felt anxious, worried, or fearful that the worst would happen to me and my loved ones?'

Joseph Prince

If were honest, we all have some measure of wrong believing in our lives. If you dont believe this, all you need to do is ask yourself, Have I often felt anxious, worried, or fearful that the worst would happen to me and my loved ones?

Joseph Prince

Many toxic parents compare one sibling unfavorably with another to make the target child feel that he's not doing enough to gain parental affection. This motivates the child to do whatever the parents want in order to regain their favor. This divide-and-conquer technique is often unleashed against children who become a little too independent, threatening the balance of the family system.

Susan Forward

Adolescence is a time when children are supposed to move away from parents who are holding firm and protective behind them. When the parents disconnect, the children have no base to move away from or return to. They aren't ready to face the world alone. With divorce, adolescents feel abandoned, and they are outraged at that abandonment. They are angry at both parents for letting them down. Often they feel that their parents broke the rules and so now they can too.

Mary Pipher

There are many things children accept as "grown-up things" over when they have no control and for which they have no responsibility--for instance, weddings, having babies, buying houses, and driving cars. Parents who are separating really need to help their children put divorce on that grown-up list, so that children do not see themselves as the cause of their parents' decision to live apart.

Fred Rogers

I played maybe one and a half games of Little League. The whole atmosphere of anxious parents and more anxious children was just too much for me.

Harrison Ford

It is important for children to understand that some of the disappointment their parents feel for them is often really the parents' disappointment in their own lives.

David Viscott

You must learn to look at people who are angry with you straight in the eye without getting angry back. When children see their parents treating them this way, they then recognize the parents' authority. It speaks louder than words. Their new respect for the parents is as good for them as it is for the parents. It never works to demand respect of children. It must be given willingly as a result of strength of good character in the parents, which is manifested by their non-reaction to stress in the children.

Roy Masters

If parents shield their children from real feelings, kids falsely imagine their parents are in constant control of themselves - and may try to emulate them.

Rachel Simmons

Parents who have been successful in acquiring more often have a difficult time saying no to the demands of overindulged children. Their children run the risk of not learning important values like hard work, delayed gratification, honesty, and compassion.

H. David Burton

Some who support [more] coercive strategies assume that children will run wild if they are not controlled. However, the children for whom this is true typically turn out to be those accustomed to being controlled— those who are not trusted, given explanations, encouraged to think for themselves, helped to develop and internalize good values, and so on. Control breeds the need for more control, which is used to justify the use of control.

Alfie Kohn

When so-called child's play turns hostile, and a child becomes a victim, it is time to act. Victims of cyberbullying do not choose to participate. Rather than build character, bullying can cause children to become anxious, fearful, unhappy, and even cause them to be physically sick.

Linda Sanchez

Westerners often laud their children as 'talented' or 'gifted', while Asian parents highlight the importance of hard work. And in fact, research performed by Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck has found that the way parents offer approval affects the way children perform, even the way they feel about themselves.

Amy Chua

A Quote by Susan Forward

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