A Quote by Susanna Kaysen

Maybe I was just flirting with madness the way I flirted with my teachers and my classmates. — © Susanna Kaysen
Maybe I was just flirting with madness the way I flirted with my teachers and my classmates.
Flirting with madness was one thing; when madness started flirting back, it was time to call the whole thing off.
I felt intimidated the entire time I was in school by my teachers and classmates. But I just knew acting was something I wanted to do.
I didn't blend well with my classmates or my teachers.
I went to school with butterflies of fear every day for years - from primary school onwards - not just worried about being bullied by classmates, but by teachers.
I was the tallest guy in the school, and I was very conscious of being larger than anybody - classmates and teachers.
Everyone likes a little bit of flirting and I do indulge in healthy flirting at times.
I don't know what flirting is, really. Sometimes in women, friendliness comes across as flirting. That is not what it is.
I haven't always been good at flirting, but I've learned that flirting is all about confidence. I don't think it's about being sexy at all; it's just about having enough confidence to walk up to somebody and have a conversation with them.
It is madness. And if you don't know who you are, or if your real self has drifted away from you with the undertow, madness at least gives you an identity. It's the same with self-loathing. You're probably just normal and normal-looking but that's not a real identity, not the way ugliness is. Normality, just accepting that you're probably normal-looking, lacks the force field of self-disgust. If you don't know who you are, madness gives you something to believe in.
People say you're flirting with death but really you're flirting with life.
I lived by the motto, 'If you don't flirt, you die.' And flirt I did. I flirted with all women, be they actresses, producers, or 80-year-old grandmothers. I even flirted with those who were out of bounds, like the wives of some of my best friends, which especially revolts me.
If there's any answer, maybe love can end the madness Maybe not, oh, but we can only try.
Fortunately, unlike my teachers and classmates, my parents never forced gender roles or even a ended identity on me. I grew up on a farm, so all that mattered was working hard.
I was in sixth grade at Koko Head Elementary School in Honolulu, and was chosen to pin the 50th star on the American flag in front of my teachers and classmates at a special assembly to celebrate statehood.
I think the big danger of madness is not madness itself, but the habit of madness. What I discovered during the time I spent in the asylum is that I could choose madness and spend my whole life without working, doing nothing, pretending to be mad. It was a very strong temptation.
Maybe I was being too picky. Maybe I didn't want to be close to anyone. Maybe I'd just be the type who couldn't feel love all the way or something. I couldn't tell what was wrong, but what was wrong was that it just wasn't right.
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