A Quote by Tig Notaro
It is that bizarre thing. If I had kids, I, of course, would tell them there's Santa, but it's also just an odd feeling to be blatantly lying to kids.
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We’re suggesting that [kids are] missing something if they don’t read but, actually, we’re condemning kids to a lesser life. If you had a sick patient, you would not try to entice them to take their medicine. You would tell them, ‘Take this or you’re going to die.’ We need to tell kids flat out: reading is not optional.
Kids are great. They are endlessly fascinating and bizarre. But I also think that if I had left them on their own for long enough, one of them would have been eaten.
Here's the thing - I'm single, I haven't been married, I don't have kids yet. If I do have kids I would be interested to see them in my life, so here's a movie for kids and I'm in there and I'm supposed to be kind of funny for kids.
Then people ask me if I'm worried about the effects of global warming on my kids. Well, obviously I love my kids and I want them to live to be a 100. So that's another 1.8. My kids' kids? Three point six. I'll just tell them we moved to Phoenix.
Sometimes it is a good thing to hear what kids have to tell you. Kids just tell the truth.
Sometimes my kids might tell me they had a dream or and maybe I'll paint some paintings from their dream. That's one good thing you get from your kids. Rob them of their dreams.
It's hard sometimes when you're in a regular high school, you just feel like the odd kid out. The great thing about going to an art school [is] it's kind of like it's all the odd kids. It's all the kids that don't fit in at their regular schools, because you're into something and excited about something that other kids really aren't into. When you go to art school, everybody's kind of on the same page.
When we wrote that scene about the Sleepy Kittens where he's reading the storybook to the kids, it's like we've had to read these stupid books to our kids, and we all want to just tell our kids, "This is really bad. Don't you know that? Can't you see that?"
She had the kids during the day and I would have them at night. That way they were never alone. I would put the kids to bed, and then I had nothing to do and nobody to talk to, so I would write.
Radio is less important than it used to be. Kids are not just hip-hop kids, just punk kids, just pop kids, just whatever kids. Everyone is mixing and matching on their playlists.
We had a teacher, named Mr. Brown, and he was writing something on the board once - he was writing something on the board, and he farted. And you would have thought kids had seen the face of God. Kids weren't even laughing; they were just sitting there screaming, just screaming. Kids had to get carted out; kids were screaming. Kids had to get carted out, and they were going to the nurses' office. Kids are crying in the hallway. 'Oh, this is our 9/11.' And it was. It was their 9/11 'cause they never thought anything like that could ever happen.
There are people who look up to me, but the young Muslim kids, especially in Germany, they also need those closest to them to show them a good path, give them targets in their life. I grew up with a lot of these kids and they didn't have the support I had from my family or friends. Not just in terms of football, but everything else.
If I had kids, my kids would hate me. They would have ended up on the equivalent of the Oprah show talking about me; because something [in my life] would have had to suffer and it would've probably been them.
When I take kids into the woods, I tell them, "What we're going to do today is going to be incredibly dangerous." And you just see 20 smiles go up. "But, we're also going to learn to look after each other, who to work together and who to understand and manage that risk." That's what it's about, you don't empower kids if you don't expose them to risk.
When you work with kids, people tell you to be very delicate, but that's the last thing you should do with kids. They feel patronized if you're like that. They just want you to be normal.
I used to say to my opponents: 'If you let me beat you, I'm going to tell your kids you were beaten by an older man.' When I beat them I would tell them I did it with a slight hamstring problem or that I was only feeling 80 per cent fit.
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