A Quote by Tim Vine

I saw this train driver and said, 'I wanna go to Paris.' He said, 'Eurostar?' I said, 'Well I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin.' Mind you, at least the Eurostar's comfy. It's murder on the Orient Express isn't it?

Tim Vine

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Been Dean Driver Express Go Least Martin Mind Murder Orient Paris Said Saw Telly Train Wanna Well

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Tim Vine
British - Comedian
Born: March 4, 1967

So I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?". I said "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".

Tommy Cooper

I have a flat in Paris and go there a lot, but the Eurostar's much more civilised than flying.

Michael Bond

That evening I rode downtown on an unaccountably empty bus, sitting in the last row. At the front I saw a thin cloud of smoke rising around the driver’s head. ‘Hey, bus driver,’ I said. ‘Can I smoke?’ ‘May I,’ said the bus driver. ‘I love you,’ I said.

Michael Chabon

I cant believe that having said what I said was interpreted as having been what I said when I said it, because I said it where I said it, when I said it, and who I said it to.

Don King

The first red carpet I did was at New York's Paris Theatre... It was this beautiful night, and everyone is screaming my name. I'm the least pretentious actress you can ever meet. Someone said to me that I look like I've been doing this forever, and I said that's because I watch E!

Amy Landecker

Dean Martin's great-great-uncle, Ebenezer Martin, who said to Eli Whitney, I see the cotton, but where's the gin? Never got a dinner!

Red Buttons

I asked him if it were a mirage, and he said yes. I said it was a dream, and he agreed, But said it was the desert's dream not his. And he told me that in a year or so, when he had aged enough for any man, then he would walk into the wind, until he saw the tents. This time, he said, he would go on with them.

Neil Gaiman

I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, 'I'm going to mop the floor with your face.' I said, 'You'll be sorry.' He said, 'Oh, yeah? Why?' I said, 'Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well.'

Emo Philips

From Paris we took the Orient Express to Vienna. I must say I was terribly disappointed; nobody was murdered on the train.

George Burns

I never said Arsenal fans were not good. I just said I saw real passion when I signed here, and I said Arsenal was a little bit different. That is the only thing I said.

Samir Nasri

I saw a close friend of mine the other day. . . . He said, "Stephen, why haven't you called me?" I said, "I can't call everyone I want. My new phone has no five on it." He said, "How long have you had it?" I said, "I don't know . . . my calendar has no sevens on it."

Steven Wright

My doctor told me that I really should lose some weight. "You're mildly obese," he said. And I thought, "Well, who couldn't afford to lose 20 or 30 pounds?" He said, "Well, a person in your category." I said, "What is that category, doctor?" He said, "Well, you're what I call upwardly middle aged." And I said, "I forgive you for everything."

Maya Angelou

I said, "Do you think she thinks it's me?" Jas said, "Well, it's pretty conclusive, isn't it? She said 'the most sniveling idiot I have ever come across.'" I said, "I didn't know that YOU have been seeing Masimo. Tom the Slug King is going to be very upset.

Louise Rennison

Well I'm not dancing," Will said through gritted teeth. "I don't know how." Oh yes you are," Alyss told him. "Let's hope you're a fast learner." He glanced at her and saw no prospect of escape. "Well,at least I won't be the only one," he said. "Halt will be terrible too." But nobody in the assembly knew tat for the past ten days, Halt had been taking dance lessons from Lady Sandra.

John Flanagan

I loved journalism until the day my journalism teacher, a man I revered, came by my desk and said, 'Are you planning on going into journalism?' I said, 'Yeah.' He said, 'I wouldn't.' I said, 'Well, why not?' He said, 'You can't make a living.'

Ed Asner

The first proper mystery novel that I read was 'Murder On the Orient Express' with a gaunt David Niven and a cherubic Peter Ustinov on the cover. 'Orient Express,' you'll recall, is the one where everyone did it, which delighted me no end, and I was immediately hooked.

Adrian McKinty

A Quote by Tim Vine

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