A Quote by Timothee Chalamet
I naturally have a me-against-the-world mentality, and I've been fighting it since I was 13. It's felt like it's only gotten me in lonely, angry places.
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Sometimes I felt lonely because I pushed people away for so long that I honestly didn't have many close connections left. I was physically isolated and disconnected from the world. Sometimes I felt lonely in a crowded room. This kind of loneliness pierced my soul and ached to the core. I not only felt disconnected from the world, but I also felt like no one ever loved me. Intellectually, I knew that people did, but I still felt that way.
It's lonely to say goodbye. Very lonely. Please. Cry with me. Maybe there's nothing we can do about this. But at least, for now...cry with me. Like your entire body...is screaming at the sky. Like it's raging against the world. I lost something. And I don't have a single guarantee. The fear of living in this world again after that...I have only a shred of hope to sustain me. So I want you at least...to cry. Cry. Cry with me. Like the day you were first born into this world.
If you ask somebody who played basketball against me in the first grade and you watch a tape, it's been with me since I was a kid. I've always had this mentality to go out there and defend.
Im not angry. I have never been angry in my entire life. The only thing that makes me angry is people videorecording me. Making me mad. NOW TURN IT OFF!
I had been doing theater since I was a kid, so the stage really felt like home to me. It felt like the place where I trust myself the most in the world and felt the most confident.
Whenever I'd feel angry or sad, I'd keep it to myself. I didn't want to upset or burden anyone with my problems. No wonder I felt lonely and isolated in my relationships, since I never allowed anyone to get to know the full me with all the shadows and sorrows.
The first 13 years of my life, I lived in China. My parents were missionaries there, and I was an only child. Often I felt lonely and out of place. Writing for me became my private place, where no one could come.
If there are a couple of adjectives people use to describe me, anger is usually in there. I've never taken that as criticism. It's the way I naturally communicate. But I'm not faux-angry, like Lewis Black, or angry like a gun-toting crazy person. I'm just angry in a mild way - it's not like I'm going to do anything about it.
I was a lonely, frightened little fat kid who felt there was something deeply wrong with me because I didn't feel like I was the gender I'd been assigned. I felt there was something wrong with me, something sick and twisted inside me, something very very bad about me. And everything I read backed that up.
As for me, I was a lonely kid, with few close friends until I was an adult - even when I might have been perceived as being on the inside, I felt like I was on the outside, kind of like viewing the world through a sheet of glass.
When you're angry, you can't fight rationally. Your body chemistry is all messed up. Your energy goes to all the wrong places. You can't do anything well except get angrier. That's why I like fighting guys who are pumped up on steroids. Fighting is all about relaxing and releasing tension, so your body is flexible and fluid, able to bend and flex quickly, like water. I like fighting angry guys who are really tense. They can't think right, and they can't fight right.
I feel lucky, though, because even when 'Alias' was popular, I was still sent scripts against type. I've never felt like the world only sees me one way. But yes, it's been really fun to be bad.
I have often felt like I was the only one fighting against female genital mutilation. There is still a huge taboo surrounding the topic, because it involves the most private parts of the female´s body. But whenever I feel like this is too much for me to do, I read e-mails and messages I receive every day from people thanking me for speaking up for them, for giving them a voice. These messages let me know that I am not alone, and that what I do is worthwhile.
It's good that there is more support of diversity but there is still a lot of resistance. I never saw it as fighting for a cause, though, for me it was spontaneous, I was doing what felt natural to me. I felt a part of it. I have always been attracted to what is new, interesting, funny, creative, the good things that were happening at that time in the world.
Guys like to gaslight us, and it's not cool. And it happens so much; it's happened to me in relationships. It's happened to me where I have been cheated on, and I felt so sad and angry, like it wasn't my fault, but that was because the person was gaslighting me into thinking it was my fault.
For a long time I felt like I was fighting my age, like I was constantly trying to prove to people that I was a savvy peer, and I felt them viewing me as a kid. I was a cocky kid, and I felt like I was an adult at, like, 9, you know? I think that's because my parents always treated me as an adult.
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