A Quote by Todd Farmer
'Scissorman' is terrifying. The studio at the time didn't want Scissorman because they were afraid that he'd look silly to which my response was, 'Well, then why did buy this because that's what the game is.' But I lost that battle.
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I want to be a voice for that: just because I've lost weight doesn't mean that I'm happy and content with my body. Because of the media, and because of what I feel I should look like, it's always going to be a battle in my head.
A lot of people don't like to spend money on a journal because they're afraid to wreck it, which is understandable. I buy beautifully made leather-bound journals because I have lost my fear of the blank page.
Sometimes grief is a comfort we grant ourselves because it's less terrifying than trying for joy. Nobody wants to admit it. We'd all declare we want to be happy, if we could. So why, then, is pain the one thing we most often hold on to? Why are slights and griefs the memories on which we choose to dwell? Is it because joy doesn't last but grief does?
I'm afraid to walk in public, because people look at me. But I'm not going to stop. I'm afraid because if I want to commune with my friend Shad (Meier), I have to ask him to cut my chicken for me. But I did it. And I'm afraid to go back and see my teammates and coaches because I know that I'll feel envy. But I'm going to do it anyway. Because fear is just a feeling, and if you can acknowledge that fear, digest that fear and overcome it, the rewards are incredible.
This is my philosophy on all life, not just when it comes to love. All the best things are terrifying, but that's why they're the best things. Nothing worth having comes easy. You have to be afraid to want it, afraid to lose it, afraid to try. If you feel that, then you know you're on to a winner.
I get friends that ask that all the time, and I remember my mother asking me a couple of times, because there was no action during a game, 'did you play?' It's so weird. Everybody's like, 'Great game, great game.' And because I demand so much of myself, I'm like, 'Well, I didn't do that great, because I didn't have any stats.'
People are determined to play well against me because they don't want to look silly and lose 6-0. But then, when I'm playing my best, it's weird. Their heads drop and it's like they're suddenly frightened.
I was miserable at uni. There were months at a time when I wouldn't leave the house unless it was to buy food. I lost a lot of friendships. I later lost jobs because of my mental health.
I did a lot of serious plays, and I did the Oxford Review as well, which is supposed to be funny, but I'm not sure how funny we were when we did it. Then, when I finished my course, it was only then that I decided to go to drama school and try and do acting because I was enjoying it so much and so on.
Luckily I don't have to buy shoes anymore, because I design them! I'm off tour, so I can dive in and create the shoes that I want for my line. But okay, I did buy a pair of vintage combat boots because they were so beaten up - I had to have them.
The release of 'Lungs' was so hard. It was terrifying, because it was the first time doing everything. The first experiences of media exposure were almost paralysing. I spent a lot of time crying on the floor of the studio - it sent me a bit mad.
I've had people say to me, "Well, how do I start collecting artworks?" Well, you start by buying. Buy what you like, buy what you can afford - and I'm not just saying that because I'm a dealer. You can't be so paralyzed to where you keep saying, "I've got to learn more." The best way to learn is to go home and actually put something on the wall. Then you've got an investment. Then you're living with it. Then you're in the game.
When kids my age were crying over girls, my first heartbreak was not because of some silly school time crush but because I lost out on playing for Delhi's Under 14 team, even after I was selected in the playing eleven.
Customers want to buy something which is not expensive because of a label but which is costly because of the time taken to produce it.
Now look at me! Take a good look! I was born and I knew I was alive and I knew what I wanted. What do you think is alive in me? Why do you think I'm alive? Because I have a stomach and eat and digest the food? Because I breathe and work and produce more food to digest? Or because I know what I want, and that something which knows how to want—isn't that life itself? And who—in this damned universe—who can tell me why I should live for anything but for that which I want?
Why were my visitors so secretive, hiding themselves behind my consciousness. I could only conclude that they were using me and did not want me to know why...What if they were dangerous? Then I was terribly dangerous because I was playing a role in acclimatizing people to them.
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