A Quote by Todd Park
A kid never listens to what his parents tell him to do. The parents actually act as an example of what their kids themselves do.
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[Drug] Addiction is awful, the worst if it is your kid. Plenty of loving parents who did everything "right" find themselves with kids caught up with drugs, and plenty of absentee parents have kids who never touch the stuff.
Most children - I know I did when I was a kid - fantasize another set of parents. Or fantasize no parents. They don't tell their real parents about that - you don't want to tell Mom and Dad. Kids lead a very private life. And I was a typical child, I think. I was a liar.
I see parents who want their kid to be better than the kid wants to be. I tell parents to encourage kids to find their passion. You can give them the opportunity to do many things.
When I tell French parents that I know lots of American kids who will eat only pasta or only white rice, they can't believe it. I mean, they can understand how the kid left to his own devices might do that, but they can't imagine that parents would allow that to happen.
Most children - I know I did when I was a kid - fantasize another set of parents. Or fantasize no parents. They don't tell their real parents about that - you don't want to tell Mom and Dad.
A lot of parents aren't exactly sure how to go about solving a problem with a kid in a way that's mutually satisfactory - doing that with their child feels very foreign to a lot of people. It probably explains why so many parents tell me their kids don't listen to them and why so many kids tell me that they don't feel heard.
It's so sad, actually, how teachers and parents tell their kids, 'You're never gonna be anything.'
I have never known a patient to portray his parents more negatively than he actually experienced them in childhood but always more positively--because idealization of his parents was essential for his survival.
For example, parents who talk a lot to their children have kids with better language skills, parents who spank have children who grow up to be violent, parents who are neither too authoritarian or too lenient have children who are well-adjusted, and so on.
I think that giving mindless praise is ridiculous. But I understand why parents do it. They want their kids to feel good about themselves. But parents are never going to teach their children true, positive self esteem by praising everything they do.
I feel like kids are the perfect psychic investigators of their parents, and kids understand their parents' unconscious better than the parents ever do.
It's like the old thing: The parents stay together for the kids, but the kids know that you don't want to be together. The kids would rather you be happy - and separate - than together and miserable. I don't want my kid to grow up around two parents who just don't work.
I wish my kid would act like my dog sometimes. My dog listens to me and does what I tell him to do.
Most Korean parents saw themselves as coaches, while American parents tended to act more like cheerleaders.
Obviously there are many, many ways of being an outsider, but having immigrant parents is one of them. For one thing, it makes you a translator: there are all kinds of things that American parents know about life in America ,and about being a kid in America, that non-American parents don't know, and in many cases it falls on the kid to tell them, and also to field questions from Americans about their parents' native country.
Parents will often thank me for being a good role model for their kids or tell me, 'You'll never understand how much you mean to my daughter,' so then I feel I don't want to let down the parents, either.
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