A Quote by Tommy Cooper

A jump lead walks into a bar. The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

Tommy Cooper

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Anything Bar Jump Lead Says Serve Start Walks

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Tommy Cooper
British - Comedian
March 19, 1921 - April 15, 1984

A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says "Why the long face?". The horse replies: "I'm deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."

Bill Bailey

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman looks at them and says: "Is this some kind of a joke?"

Frank Carson

A guy walks into a pub with a lump of asphalt on His shoulder, He says to the bar man give us a pint and one for the road.

Tommy Cooper

I jump out of the boat [in The Lost World], and I'm trying to swim to the kid, and my boots fill with water, and I start to drown, and the director has no idea why I'm flailing around. He's, "Come on, come on!" And I managed to rescue myself. I'm wet and sitting on the banks of the river, and John walks over to me and says, "Are you all right, dear boy?" "Yeah, I'm all right."

Eric McCormack

Tobin," Mom said disapprovingly. She wasn't a particularly funny person. It suited her professionally - I mean, you don't want your cancer surgeon to walk into the examination room and be like, "Guy walks into a bar. Bartender says, 'What'll ya have?' And the guy says, 'Whaddya got?' And the bartender says, 'I don't know what I got, but I know what you got: Stage IV melanoma.

John Green

A man walks into a bar, and he said OUCH, cause it was an iron bar.

Tommy Cooper

A guy walks into a bar, orders a drink, sees a girl that catches his eye. Asks her if she wants another, they fall for each other and end up lovers. They laugh, cry, hold on tight and make it work for a little while, then one night her taillights fade out into the dark. And a guy walks into a bar

Tyler Farr

My loyalty is to the family. Donald Trump says 'Jump;' I say, 'How high?' Then I give him my opinion of where I should jump to, and he says, 'Go do it.'

Brad Parscale

Give a lecture to a thousand people.One walks out and says,I'm going to change my life." Another one walks out with a yawn and says,"I've heard all this before."Why is that? Why wouldn't both be affected the same way?Another mystery."

Jim Rohn

The economy is too weak right now. We need to jump-start it. The American Jobs Act will provide that jump-start, to help us into next year and the year after that.

David Plouffe

If you were writing a short ghost story, I would say start very quietly and go, 'One, two, three jump.' Or start with a jump and make it jumpier. But with a long story, it must have rises and falls.

Susan Hill

Anything that doesn't lead us to that - to better know and serve God - is a waste of time.

Charles de Foucauld

I get the Reese's candy bar. You look at that, there's an apostrophe-s there. That means the candy bar is his. I didn't know that. Next time you're eating a Reese's candy bar, and a guy named Reese comes by and says, "Gimme that", you better hand it over.

Mitch Hedberg

When somebody brings up a movie (of mine) that I haven't heard about in a long time, I feel like a 70-year-old pitcher at a bar somewhere, and somebody walks in and says, 'Oh, my God, I was in St. Louis and I saw you. You pitched a shutout.' It's real. I really did do that, because someone today remembers it.

Sean Astin

When the world says, 'Jump,' you gotta jump. It's like me moving to America when I was 29. I just did it. And now it's a home. You can't plan those things.

Naveen Andrews

There's a scene in 'Medium Cool' in which a young man walks by with a sign that says, 'Sanity, please.' If anything summarizes what I was feeling at that time, it is that sign.

Haskell Wexler

A Quote by Tommy Cooper

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