A Quote by Tommy Cooper

A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'
Take for example providing a guide dog for a blind person. That's a good thing to do, right? All right. It is a good thing to do. But you have to think what else you could do with the resources. It costs about $40,000 to train a guide dog and train the recipient so that the guide dog can be an effective help to a blind person. It costs somewhere between 20 and $50 to cure a blind person in a developing country if they have trachoma. So you do the sums, and you could provide one guide dog for one blind American or you could cure between 400 and 2,000 people of blindness.
Businesses are made by people. We've proven time and time again that you can have wonderful shop, and put a bloke in there who's no good, and he'll stuff it up. Put a good bloke in, and it just turns around like that .
What I disliked most about working as a shop assistant wasn't the occasional snooty customer or the shop or the hours, but the way people reacted when I told them I was a shop assistant - their automatic assumption that I didn't enjoy it.
I have my golden retriever now, Pontiac. He's a career-change guide dog from Guide Dogs for the Blind.
There's a design book I got years ago that had a statue of a dog with a bunch of hats on it, and I just obsessively fell in love with it. For years I searched for that dog. One day I walked into an antique shop in La Jolla and I found a white dog that I could put hats on!
I don't shop just high-end, honestly. I shop at Zara, I shop at Topshop, I shop at H&M. I shop everywhere.
The end of 'City Lights' makes me cry every time I see it - when Charlie Chaplin walks by the shop window and the once-blind girl brings him a flower and pins it to his lapel.
If a dog is biting a black man, the black man should kill the dog, whether the dog is a police dog or a hound dog or any kind of dog. If a dog is fixed on a black man when that black man is doing nothing but trying to take advantage of what the government says is supposed to be his, then that black man should kill that dog or any two-legged dog who sets the dog on him.
Show business is dog eat dog. It's worse than dog eat dog. It's dog doesn't return dog's phone calls.
I just got a dog, and I never thought about using it to look up toys you get for the dog and walks to take the dog on, but there's so much stuff about that on Pinterest!
But it was hard to keep his hands still. He could almost feel them twitching emphatically with his strong desire to reach out and stroke the dog's head. He had such a terrible yearning to love something again, and the dog was such a beautiful ugly dog.
Being blind is as simple as closing your eyes. The blind don't act any different than you or I. You never see a blind person going around saying, 'I'm blind.' So if you want to play blind just close your eyes and keep them closed and fare thee well.
Guide dogs for the blind. It's cruel really, isn't it? Getting a dog to lead a man round all day. Not fair on either of them.
A dominant dog can get another dog to move out of its way just by the energy it projects. You can tell a lot about a dog's position in the pack by how they hold themselves around other dogs. When reading a dog's body language, you can't do it intellectually. You can only do it by using your instincts.
What I find most appalling is the Senate calls it a qualified blind trust when it's not blind. Since the Senate says it's OK, the Senate has made it a political question. It's up to the voter. But there's no doubt it's a conflict of interest.
The minute I stepped foot on the shop floor and started serving in a retail environment, I knew it was the career for me. I was a shop assistant for just one day, and I thought, 'This is it. This is the rest of my life. This is all I want to do.'
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