A Quote by Whoopi Goldberg
If you get a little gassy, you've got to let it go. So people used to say to me, 'You're like a whoopee cushion.'
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Life is a whoopee cushion, a chair pulled away just as you were taking a seat.
Diplomats willing to sit for an interview usually prefer the terra firma of CNN over the whoopee cushion of Comedy Central.
When I started looking for pointed shoes, I used to go to Fairfax on Orchard Street in New York City, one of those little pushcart guys. I'd say, 'You got any pointy shoes?' They would go way, way in the back and come back with a dusty box, blow the dust off the top, and say, 'What do you want with these things? Give me twenty bucks. Go on, get outta here!' And that was the beginning.
Now it's like, I'll go to Starbucks, or I'll go to the mall or anywhere, and lots of people will recognize me, and I'm like, 'Oh, wow, this is actually a thing now; this is happening.' It can get a little bit crazy at times, but I love meeting people, and people shouldn't feel scared to come up to me and say 'Hi.'
I used to get defensive when people asked me, 'Is it the control that you like about directing?' I used to say, 'No!' But now I'm older, I say, 'Yeah, it absolutely is!'
I get great satisfaction nowadays when people come up and say 'I used to hate you when I was little' or 'you used to make me mad' - well that was the desired effect.
I got a little bit used to people stopping me in the street with 'V,' at least in America. Not that I think you ever really get used to it. It will always be a shock to be recognised for anything.
I used to be very self-conscious. I used to wish I was pretty. My cousin Georgia always taught me that if you smile, people will like you. Sometimes people will say something you don't like, and you get angry a bit, but you just smile. You let it go by, even if you really would like to choke 'em. By smiling, I think I've made more friends than if I was the other way.
Back in the day, I used to get really upset when people used to say that I didn't really make all my own things - like my art or my videos or whatever. I work really hard on everything, so it used to upset me when people would try to discredit me or say that I wouldn't have what I had without this person or that person.
I used to go into pubs and people would want to pick a fight with me. I would hear a group of girls say: 'Oh look, there's Pat Cash.' And then one of them would come up to me and say, 'You think you're so good,' and throw a drink in my face. That kind of reaction from people was a bit of a shock initially, and you don't ever really get used to it.
I think when you're a tall girl, you feel a little bit like an outcast. You have to go to the back of the photo. You're taller than all the boys. I know I felt more like an outsider. And then as I got older, I just got used to it. I got like, 'I don't date under 6 feet.' That's my policy.
Going from Army base to base as a kid taught me to be a man of all nations. I'd go to the Jewish people and say, 'Shalom, brother.' I go to the Muslim people and say, 'Salaam aleikum.'I go to the Chinese people and say, 'Nee hao mah,' which means, 'How you doin'?' I go to the Japanese people and say, 'Konnichiwa.' I go to San Antonio, Texas, and I get along with Mexicans. Then I go to Louisiana and hang with the Creoles. Moving around a lot made me a man of all people.
When you are ten years old and people are screaming your name, trying to grab you at the Kids Choice Awards, and you go to the mall and groups of girls start following you around, it's very unreal and like a dream. I can't say I get used to it, it's always been a little freaky.
There is such a problem with racism, so to actually just say it and have so many people of colour message me and thank me for saying something... I remember when I used to cry about it to my manager I used to be like: 'Why do I feel like this?' and she'd never say it, and I'd never say it. It was really strange.
When I was a little girl and people would ask me what I wanted to be when I got older, I always used to say I want to be paid to think. So for me, to dream, to think, to write - it is wonderful.
If you say, "Woo, woo, woo!" to me, I'll say it back. I love it. "Woo, woo, woo" is something that my character used to say. It's something that my mother used to say to my brother and me when we were kids. When words would fail her, she'd just go, "Oh, woo, woo, woo." It's compassion. It's a combination of "I see you, I feel you, I acknowledge you, I got your back."
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