A Quote by Wilson Cruz
When people ask me for advice about when to come out, it's really about, before you do that, building a circle of support that can strengthen you through that experience. For me, it was my friends. There were people on 'My So-Called Life' that really helped guide me.
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When I was early in my career, I really followed Twitter, seeing what people were saying about me. I definitely saw them talking about Mr. Mankato and all that. It was fun for me to have a little bit of extra support from outside people. I definitely helped me build confidence, that's for sure.
When someone comes up to me and says, 'Mary, you helped save my marriage', or, 'Mary, you helped me get out of this abusive relationship', I'm in it, really in their lives. And I'm so passionate about my feelings, but also about showing people the way through theirs.
People say to me about my music 'it got me through college, it saved my marriage, it helped me to come out.' It's wonderful to be part of someone's life in a big way.'
I've had a lot of people come up to me after shows and tell me that "Dollhouse" really helped them with whatever they were going through with their families. I thought that was really amazing, that it could mean one thing for me but another thing for someone else.
Being in a kids' show... taught me so much about who I am as an individual, and I learned a lot through the writing and different directors that came in, and I evolved as an actress and human being, and I really created a circle of friends who helped shape me who I am today.
No matter what level you're starting at, it's about not only utilizing your time, but your resources and network. For me, I started my company with a small amount of savings; I never had investors and I was lucky in the sense that I had models and connections in the fashion industry who were willing to give me advice early on. So really, for anyone starting a new business, it's really important to seek out mentors and knowledge from those who have come before you. And to not let that be discouraging, but to take that advice and really learn from it and mold it to what you're trying to do.
My life hasn't changed, it's been the same. What's helped me with that is keeping my circle tight, having the people that care about me around me.
Obviously I ask my family and loved ones for advice here and there, but I kind of have a rule with the people I love that surround me - close family and close friends - that unless I ask for it, I don't really want advice thrown out.
If people ask me about it, I think it would be great for me to be like, 'Look, [Kanye West] called me and told me the line before it came out. Like, joke's on you guys, we're fine'.
My experience tells me, unfortunately, that so many people ask the question about 'The Smiths' reforming without really caring about the answer. They just really want to ask the question.
Music helped me to get out of a rough period in my life when I really struggled to see any future for myself and was terrified about what was happening to the people around me.
People do ask me for advice for some reason. And I'll just kind of pose it back to them and let them answer on their own. I never like to give my advice 'cause I don't want them to come back and 'You were wrong! You ruined my life!' so it's more about 'Hey, this is what you just told me. What does that sound like to you?'
It takes a lot of guts to come out to your friends and family. For most gay people, coming out is the most traumatic experience in their life because of the worry about the backlash: 'What's going to happen? Are my parents going to accept me? Are my friends going to accept me? Are my sisters and brothers going to accept me?'
I lost the life that I knew, and I really had to rethink my future and think about my core values and the things that I love, and my passion, and that's really what helped me move forward. Also, for me just being grateful for what I had in my life versus on focusing on what I was losing, that really helped as well.
When people ask me, 'What are you most proud of,' I say it's that I've had five people close enough to ask me to present them at the World Golf Hall of Fame. There were any number of people they could have used, but they asked me. It really means a lot to me.
We have to recognize that we can help increase happiness of other people by reaching out, and building connections. People have done that for me in my life. There have been many times that my family and friends have reached out to help support me and contributed to my emotional wellbeing, and ultimately to my health.
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