She'd stood by that creed. No softness, because the world wasn't soft; lots of laughter, because if you were in on the joke, the joke couldn't be on you; And no wanting what you couldn't take, because the world never gave. Or so she'd thought.
I got an email saying we were nominated for a Grammy, and I instantly thought it was a joke. So I started Googling the nominees, and there we were!
When I noticed how my own children were effortlessly able to use all this sophisticated technology, at first I thought, 'My children are prodigies!' But then I noticed all their friends were like them, so that was a bad theory.
As far as outlining is concerned, I don't outline humor. I might right down a word or two to remind myself of a punch line I thought of, but the actual structure of a piece I really don't. I don't think it would really help me because for me the process is joke, joke, joke, joke.
Being noticed can be a burden. Jesus got himself crucified because he got himself noticed. So I disappear a lot.
I'm not allowed to make a joke. It is a bit unfair how I'm treated. I thought it was a joke. I got calls and messages. I would rather not to have to worry about things like that. It is disappointing.
When you're on stage performing stand-up, things only happen one time. I've done bits where I improv a joke, and people are dying. The next show, I try to repeat it, I can't do it. Because with the first audience that was our moment. It can't happen the same way again. We were all there: a certain type of people were at that show and we all got it.
My first experience with football was not very good because I didn't plan on playing football. I was just playing hookie one day and I was a sophomore and decided not to go to class. And the principal - normally he does his rounds and I thought I had him down pretty good where he was going to be - he sort of walked up behind me and scared me. He noticed I could run real fast. So that's how I got introduced to football.
I'm a creative person, and I've got a lot of ideas. People probably thought that my mentality was quick fame because I made 'Rack City' and it blew up fast, but I have over 1,000 songs recorded.
You've noticed that same joke told by two different people, once works, and the other time doesn't, simply because how the person edits it. The silences, the pauses, what they neglect, what they emphasize - all of this matters.
The U.K. and Europe in general seem to be a lot more patient. The U.S. are expecting 'joke joke joke joke joke joke joke.' They don't actually sit and listen to you.
You see I thought love got easier over the years so it didn't hurt so bad when it hurt, or feel so good when it felt good. I thought it smoothed out and old people hardly noticed it. I thought it curled up and died, I guess. Now I saw it rear up like a whip and lash.
I thought that automobiles were going to have mufflers and go fast and airplanes were going to fly fast.
When I'm writing columns, it's - all I'm thinking about is jokes, joke, joke, joke, setup, punch line, joke, joke, joke. And I really don't care where it goes.
Chevy Chase and Bill Murray - we thought those guys were funny. We love Bill Murray, but we didn't think they were right for Airplane! because it would step on the joke if there was a known comedian.
Al Capone's my uncle. The old days were a lot different. The Latin Casino was the big time. When I got there I figured that I was doing pretty good, because remember, I started in nothing but after hours joints. I can't even name them now, but that's how I got noticed.