A Quote by Brian Regan

I could go for a sandwich, but I’m not gonna open two jars. — © Brian Regan
I could go for a sandwich, but I’m not gonna open two jars.

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You know I could go for a sandwich, but uh, I'm not gonna open TWO jars! I can't be opening and closing all kinds of jars... cltaning, who KNOWS how many knives!?
I saw something in the store the other day that I don't understand: that peanut butter and jelly in the same jar. Is there a point to that? I mean, I'm lazy-but I wanna meet the guy who needs that. Some guy going, "You know, I could go for a sandwich-but, uh, I'm not gonna open two jars. I can't be opening and closing all kinds of jars. Cleaning, who knows how many knives!?"
I could worry that I'm going to bleed to death, you know, from cutting my finger on a sandwich packet, you know, if I sort of open a sandwich.
Hillary [Clinton] wins and the Republicans are gonna quickly be irrelevant. She's gonna get her Supreme Court nominee. She's gonna open the borders. The country is going to be flooded with unregistered Democrat voters, that are gonna end up voting anyway, to go along with the dead who vote.
Two different styles of leadership. LeBron, very encouraging, bringing everybody along, and Kobe, he's testing you, seeing what you gonna give him. If he gonna get at you, he gonna scream at you, he gonna cuss, he gonna do whatever it is. He had his own way of leading guys as well. It's two different sides. I'm just blessed to see both of them.
When I was a little girl, I used to try and bring sunshine to my mother. I felt so bad that she had never really seen or felt it. So I would try and catch it in jars. When that failed, I captured jars and jars of lightening bugs and told her that if we could catch enough of them, then it would look like the sun. She’d laugh, hug me, and then set them free and tell me that nothing should have to live its life in a cage. (Cassandra)
I do a devilish borscht, and I'm very good at pickles. I used to make jars and jars of sweet-and-sour pickled cucumbers.
I'm gonna open a small restaurant on the beach in Mexico. We're only gonna have a few tables, and we're only gonna cook what's fresh that day. We're gonna get back to the basics.
You gotta learn that if you're gonna take the last shot of the game, it's either gonna go in, or it's not gonna go in, and you're either gonna be the hero or the goat.
I'm gonna open a small restaurant on the beach in Mexico. We're only gonna have a few tables, and we're only gonna cook what's fresh that day. We're gonna get back to the basics... Real food for real people.
When the jars of clay remember they are jars of clay, the treasure within gets all the glory, which seems somehow more fitting.
I auditioned for Lamorne Morris' part, Winston, on 'New Girl.' In the scene, the character was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. I thought, 'Nobody else is going to go into the audition eating, and this is how I'm gonna set myself apart.'
I don't dispute the fact that I ordered too many mason jars. 1,200 Mason jars in a studio apartment is not the hill that I will die on.
I feel like, when we're kids, you're sold into this fairy tale of what love is. That Prince Charming's gonna come along and save you and you're gonna live happily ever after. They're gonna rescue me from the Bronx, and we're gonna go off and live in a castle somewhere and it's gonna be awesome. He's gonna love me forever, and I'm gonna love him forever, and it's gonna be real easy. And it's so different than that.
So do you want a turd sandwich or a turd sandwich with mustard. I'd go with the mustard, but still, it's a turd sandwich.
There may be a perception that, with franchises, they're all the same, so that limits the ability to experiment. But that's not true. We've always kept two slots open on the menu of each Subway franchise - slots that franchisees can use to come up with their own sandwich ideas.
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