A Quote by Gilbert Gottfried
I find Washington audiences are basically the same as every other audience; they watch me and go, 'Who's idea was it to go see him? And is it too late to ask for my money back?'
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I'm actually very ordinary, except people get to pay their money to come watch me work. The same way that we go to McDonald's.. we don't care about the guy behind the counter, but if he was doing something special, we'd pay our money to go watch him cook that hamburger.
Right then, I wanted to go back in time and relive every moment with him. One more secret smile, one more shared laugh. One more electric kiss. Finding him was like finding someone I didn't know I was searching for. He’d come into my life too late, and now was leaving too soon. I remembered him telling he’d give up everything for me. He already had.
It's insanely difficult to ask an audience to go somewhere other than YouTube to watch videos.
I like running my Super Late Models here and there and there are times when you go to those events and they are for $2,000 or $3,000 to win. There's no money involved in that; you're basically spending your money to go racing in those things but it's so enjoyable. For me, it's kind of like a golf game.
I get so tickled when that pilot happens to be an African American because I rarely see that. The same is true when I go to find restaurants. I mean, most places I go, I kind of have some idea who the chef is, which is why I want to go.
My son traveled the world with me on every tour. He wasn't a lover of school, so it was easy with him. I had a tutor on the road, keep him at the same level, so when he'd pop back home he'd go right back in.
I am always looking for inspiration. I always live in big cities where I can go every day to a museum, see a lecture, meet people that are artists, go to the cinema. For me, it's like food. It is necessary for my personal growth as a person to grow as an artist, I go basically every week to three or four things. But it's real life that inspires me - when I meet somebody, when I see something.
My advice to you is not to undertake the spiritual path. It is too difficult, too long, and is too demanding. I suggest you ask for your money back, and go home. This is not a picnic. It is really going to ask everything of you. So, it is best not to begin. However, if you do begin, it is best to finish.
For me, after every game you look yourself in the mirror and ask 'what can i do better, what can i do to help this team?' Then you go back to the drawing board and you go back and you work hard.
I got a bad conduct discharge, was at home for a few months in late '99, and basically said, 'Dad, I want to give wrestling a shot. I sure as hell don't wanna go to college, and the Marine Corps wasn't for me. And I need to make some money, so let's see if I can do it.'
When I got a chance, I went back and shared those experiences that were important to me. George Washington High, the campus at San Francisco State, and even back to Emerson Elementary school and Roosevelt Junior High. I was happy to do it, to go back and see if all the same teachers were there.
Where is Polonius? HAMLET In heaven. Send hither to see. If your messenger find him not there, seek him i' th' other place yourself. But if indeed you find him not within this month, you shall nose him as you go up the stairs into the lobby.
I love having made a film and watching it when it affects audiences in a positive way. It was always fun for me to hide in the back of a theater and watch Tootsie with an audience and hear them laugh. And it's gratifying 20 years later to imagine that they still can find it amusing.
Sometimes I find it too hot to run, and sometimes too cold. Or too cloudy. But I still go running. I know that if I didn't go running, I wouldn't go the next day either. It's not in human nature to take unnecessary burdens upon oneself, so one's body soon becomes disaccustomed. It mustn't do that. It's the same with writing. I write every day so that my mind doesn't become disaccustomed.
In comedy you feel you need to go back to the theatre every now and again, you feel you need to go back to an audience every now and again to see if you're still getting your craft right, making people laugh at the moments you think they should and that sort of thing.
"Please... don't ask me to go with you, because if you do, I'll go. Please don't ask me to tell Frank about us, because I'll do that, too. Please don't ask me to give up my responsibilities or break up my family"... "I love you, and if you love me, too, then you just can't ask me to do these things. Because I don't trust myself enough to say no."
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