A Quote by Demetri Martin
If you are trying to impress a woman, leave any sort of show farting out of the equation.
Related Quotes
I've only had success when I'm not trying to. It's that weird thing where if you're trying to impress a girl, you're not going to impress her. But if you aren't trying to impress a girl, you'll probably impress her because you're not trying.
Given certain known factors in an equation and the equation comprising a situation of absolute need - any form of need - you can predict the results. Leave a sick junkie in the back room of a drugstore and only one result is possible.
Why do you think the old stories tell of men who set out on great journeys to impress the gods? Because trying to impress people just isn't worth the time and effort.
I can't remember ever cooking food to impress a woman. The idea's quite cheesy and sort of makes my skin crawl. But I sometimes make a special effort to impress my cats, with chicken liver or something. It's tricky to know if a cat's impressed. They might give me a little look, a glimpse at least. That's cat ownership for you.
I love the psychology versus math and logic. In algebra, "X" means any possible variable. I sort of think about "X" in terms of the equation of my own life. Adding "X" to my own life has given me a freedom that I didn't have before in the equation of my own existence.
Maybe it's just me but I would suspect that a man trying to impress a woman would be more likely to bring out the steak - "I killed this for you, now I'm grilling it for you."
I feel no obligation to teach my readers anything, to impart any sort of wisdom, to teach any sort of lesson, to instill any sort of morality. All I'm trying to do is make them and their parents laugh.
I think that if you can roast a chicken, you can get whatever you want out of a woman. Maybe it's just me but I would suspect that a man trying to impress a woman would be more likely to bring out the steak - "I killed this for you, now I'm grilling it for you."... A man that can cook you a proper meal that is like a weekday meal - which I think cannot be better than in the form of a roast chicken - that's the greatest.
One of the major things in any dance-based reality show is how smartly you can impress the audience and keep your cool throughout the show.
Be kind to everyone, and don't leave yourself out of the equation.
If you're trying to impress a girl, go with something that doesn't look like you're trying to impress, but you should still make an effort. It goes back to what you're comfortable with. Look like you're there with interest.
It never does to leave a live Dragon out of the equation.
Woody Allen said that 95% of history is explained as a man trying to impress a woman. And that's true in my life.
I don't know who he (Wladimir) was trying to impress in that homo-erotic video of his doing bicep-curls. It didn't impress me.
We've all been that young love, trying to impress the in-laws or having these crazy cousins that we're related to by blood - we can't choose them as sort of friends, but they're there.
I'm not a fan of purposely farting in front of other people. If you have to fart, leave the room.
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