A Quote by Jerry Seinfeld

Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash.
Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash.
If you've got a bloodstain on your T-shirt, maybe dirty laundry isn't your biggest problem.
If God seems to be in no hurry to make the problem of evil go away, maybe we shouldn't be, either. Maybe our compulsion to wash God's hands for him is a service he doesn't appreciate. Maybe - all theodicies and nearly all theologians to the contrary - evil is where we meet God. Maybe he isn't bothered by showing up dirty for his dates with creation. Maybe - just maybe - if we ever solved the problem, we'd have talked ourselves out of a lover.
Maybe being good isn't about getting rid of anything. Maybe being good has to do with living in the mess in the frailty in the failures in the flaws. Maybe what I tried to get rid of is the goodest part of me. Think Passion. Think Age. Think Round. Maybe good is about developing the capacity to live fully inside everything. Our body is our country, the only city, the only village, the only every we will ever know.
Maybe the biggest award show of the largest entertainment importer in the world needs an economic incentive to embrace diversity. Indeed, maybe we should boycott the show and pressure advertisers to do the same. Or maybe the Academy should learn the lesson of history and change because it's the right thing to do.
Yeah, I could get an internet page and maybe get a thousand downloads of new songs but it's a lot of work. I'm 57 now, I really feel like I've got the T-shirt. I just like performing. It's instant. I go off, I do the show, it's over. I like that.
I wash my hair maybe once every four or five months. But whenever I touch my hair, I wash my hands. I think since I wash my hands a lot and then touch my hair, maybe I'm washing my hair each time. But also, I sweat a lot, and sweat is like a natural shower built into your body.
I think the real, fundamental problem that the Republicans have is, 'How do we get meaner, how do we get nastier with immigrants, so that we can take a smaller group,' now apparently led by Senator Cruz - I mean, maybe he's gonna be the next Speaker of the House. Because it's quite clear that Mr. Boehner has no control over this conference.
How old do you have to get before wisdom descends like a plastic bag over your head and you learn to keep your big mouth shut? Maybe never. Maybe you get more frivolous with age.
Isn't that how it is when you must decide with your heart? You are not just choosing one thing over another. You are choosing what you want. And you are also choosing what somebody else does not want, and all the consequences that follow. You can tell yourself, That's not my problem, but those words do not wash the trouble away. Maybe it is no longer a problem in your life. But it is always a problem in your heart.
I'd like to get rid of those streetcars, maybe phase them out. I'm not sure how we're going to do it but I'd like to slowly but surely get rid of those streetcars and maybe replace them with buses.
I need to feel as if everything is clean and in its proper place before I can even attempt to write one word. At least, that's what I tell myself. I make the bed, I put away the dishes, maybe I dust, maybe I do the laundry, maybe I go to the post office.
You think of it [voicing] as something where you not only don't //need// your body, but you don't even have it to use! There's nothing you can do with your body that's going to show in the final product. Maybe that's all the more reason I used my body so much to get whatever noise or sounds out of it I could. When it was needed to keep the energy up I found myself almost running in place! It is very physical.
If you consume something that's poisonous, you don't consciously think of vomiting; your body just does it. It's a reflex. When I'm happy, I don't instantly feel the need to get rid of that feeling. But when I'm sad, I think maybe that's what happens.
[Kellyanne] Conway had just explained how they won the presidency. They flipped over 200 counties, and she explained, "Did you ever think, Jennifer [Palmieri], that maybe the problem is that people just don't like your candidate, that Hillary [Clinton] doesn't connect with people, that maybe people don't have anything in common with Hillary, that maybe they see Hillary as a man?"
I see TV ads about detergents that can get blood stains out of your cloths. I say if you have blood stains on your cloths you should be thinking about something other than laundry.
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