A Quote by Jessie James Decker
I moved all the time as part of a military family, and I just really did not have very many friends. I remember having these feelings of walking into a room and feeling that nobody likes me, or thinking, 'I'm going to have to sit alone at lunch again.'
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Getting up quite late in the morning, going and trying to clean my bikes - I have quite a few of them in Ranchi - spending some time with my family, my parents and friends. Going out for rides with my friends and having lunch or dinner at a roadside hotel - that's my favourite time-pass. These are the sort of things that really excite me.
The whole idea is you can't sit around and do nothing. You have to get up and start living one day at a time. That's what I did my entire career. You can't sit around and say, 'Oh, poor me. Nobody likes me. Nobody is giving me a job.' You have to get up and go. If you sit at home and do nothing, that is what is going to happen.
I remembered this one time that I never told anybody about. The time we were walking. Just the three of us. I was in the middle. I don't remember where we were walking to or where we were walking from. I just remember the season. I just remember walking between them and feeling for the first time that I belonged somewhere
I remember thinking as I was doing the jokes for the first time, "If I can hear that very clearly, I'm not hearing laughter." It just became deafening, this buzzing noise. I mean, it was brutal. It was really terrible. Then I remember thinking, "At least nobody important, or anyone who I really respect, saw that." And then literally right when I went off the stage, Jerry Seinfeld got up and went on. So I was like, "Oh great. Seinfeld saw me bomb." On the other hand, I thought, "At least no one will be thinking of me anymore. They'll just be focusing on him."
I think it's so easy when you have children just to turn your focus inward on your family and because, when they're young, you don't sleep very much, you're walking around like a zombie most of the time anyway. It's a really important part of my life to have good friends, you have to work quite hard to keep the relationships going but it's worth it.
The therapy has been on and off, but I'll always go. I notice when I don't go, I start creating bad habits for myself. It's up to me to put in the effort. And I definitely watch The Secret a lot. That's part of my therapy: positive thinking. Really seeing yourself having everything you want, and feeling the emotion of having that. I did that about a Grammy. When The Secret came out, I was saying, "I'm going to win a Grammy." And I went there with my hypnosis and believing, really feeling what it would be like to have one.
I get this adrenaline rush from just going down the course and feeling like I made a really great turn and I'm going to do it again and again and again. That feeling can't be replaced, and that's the feeling I'm striving to get every time I go out there.
My brother Steve, who was a few years older than me, had 'Bad' on tape, and I remember listening to 'Smooth Criminal' and just thinking it was the coolest thing ever. I must have been five or six at the time, and I remember walking around school by myself thinking I was Michael Jackson. I wasn't dancing, exactly - more like walking musically.
I'm really shy, man. I don't really talk much. I just read, sit in my room and just read graphic novels because I don't have many friends and many people that like to talk to me.
And then my editor really likes that because he's left alone to do what...to create those things instead of me breathing over his shoulder and I like it because I don't have to sit in the editing room all day. I get to watch just dailies.
As I was walking up the stairs to dad's old room, and I was looking at the photographs, I started thinking that there was a time when these weren't memories. That someone actually took the photograph, and the people in the photograph had just eaten lunch or something.
I think, probably when I was 15 or so, I was going through a really hard time with my family, and I just felt really helpless - I didn't know how to put anything I was feeling into words, and I was really confused, and I felt like nobody would hear me, but I didn't even know what to say.
The idea of you is a part of my mind; you influence my likes and dislikes, all my tastes, hundreds of times when I don't realize it. You really are a part of me. In the course of twenty crowded years one parts with many illusions... I did not wish to lose the early ones. Some memories are realities, and are better than anything that can ever happen again.
If I'm getting on an airplane or anywhere, really, I have a lunch box and stuff. It's a running joke with my friends and family - everyone gives me lunch boxes for Christmas.
You really get caught up in this system of the world - the Instagram world, society - we really get caught up in what our friends want and what our jobs want. I think the priority in life is to feel secure and safe and solid, truly. Just feeling good, just being okay with sitting alone. I think that's a big thing people need to realize and get used to that it's okay to be alone. It's good to be alone, and you need to be able to sit by yourself and just be peaceful and silent, and learn to read a book again; learn to just be. It's hard to be when you are so used to static input.
My process is walking down to the locker room, laying everything out to how I like it. I'm very particular about setting up my bags and my dressing situation. I love to pull out that portable speaker and blare music even if nobody else likes it. To me, its just keeping everything the same every single night.
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