A Quote by David Letterman
Today is tax day. A lot of people are hoping they get refunds. And that's just the folks here in the audience.
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The media's apoplectic reaction to 2018 tax refunds displays a fundamental misunderstanding of the U.S. tax code and the very notion of what a refund actually is.
Nobody expects the tax collector to be a friend, but one does expect the government to apply its mind to making payments and refunds fair and user friendly especially for those who are actually paying tax.
When you say the tax system benefits the rich, there are a lot of people who respond, "That can't be true, look at the rate of tax. The people who are rich pay a higher rate than you or I." Well, yeah, but if you don't have to pay taxes on a lot of your income, then your real tax rate is a lot lower. And if you're allowed to pay your taxes thirty years from now instead of today then you're a lot better off. People need to have a sophisticated understanding of how the system works to appreciate that the posted tax rate really has very little to do with the taxes people pay.
Smaller tax refunds are not a bad thing - they're a sign that people are keeping more of their money as they earn it, rather than letting Uncle Sam keep it under his mattress for them.
I have a lot of friends who were stand-ups, and they just stopped after a while, because they didn't like that battle, or they just couldn't do it. And then they would get on a sitcom and get visible and get back into it, because the audience was just way easier on them. But they lost those crucial years of learning to turn any audience into your audience.
I just need to come to the park every day thinking something good is going to happen to me and hoping today is going to be the day.
From the time they get up in the morning and flush the toilet, they're taxed. Then they go and get the cup of coffee, they're taxed....This goes on all day long. Tax, tax, tax.
There's a lot of twisted folks and folks who don't stay true to who they are that can sometimes get led astray by work or by certain people pulling strings to make you be someone you don't want to be.
When you can identify a specific tax that people don't like, and this is one that was designed for the Rockefellers, for the Carnegies in 1916, to fund World War I, but now it's beginning to hit small business people, real estate holders, a lot of people well down the income scale who just spent a life building assets. Suddenly they get hit with a 40%, 50% tax rate.
Get a sales tax, small on necessities and large on luxuries; then a stiff inheritance tax on the fellow that saves and don't spend. That will get him either way. A tax paid on the day you buy is not as tough as asking you for it the next year when you are broke.
The form came out of the function because it is for the audience that already knows the show, while hoping to get a new audience, too.
I think people - especially folks who haven't seen a lot of NASCAR - they get this idea that we're just going around in circles. And that's so far from the truth. You're running as hard as you can to get all you can every lap.
It used to be that we taxed property - zapped farmers basically. And there were very rich people who didn't pay that much tax. So in 1913, they put in the income tax. It was incredibly popular. The tax we love to hate today.
If people continue to feel like Democrats are looking after poor folks and Republicans are looking after rich folks and nobody is looking after me, then we don't get a lot of stuff done. And the trend lines evidence the fact that folks have gotten squeezed. And obviously, 2007, 2008 really ripped open for people how vulnerable they were.
Sometimes, you see folks who have a negative view of dreamers - people who sit around all day on their hindquarters and do absolutely nothing. These folks aren't dreamers - they are just lazy. To me, dreaming is just part of being alive, inspired, and curious about the world.
While tax refunds amount to substantial income for many Americans, current IRS rules do not allow taxpayers to directly deposit their refund into more than one account.
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