A Quote by David Shields

I couldn't tell a story if my life depended on it. I'm the world's worst joke-teller.

David Shields

Quote Topics

Depended Joke Life My Life Story Tell Teller World Worst

Quote Author

David Shields
American - Author
Born: July 22, 1956

To this day, if you gave me $1,000, I really can't stand up - You can tell a joke. You're a good storyteller and a good joke teller.

Don Rickles

I'm not a big one for jokes. I can't tell a joke, believe it or not. If you gave me a thousand bucks and said, "Don, get up at a party and tell a joke," I'm the worst.

Don Rickles

With short stories, the story-teller must have a story to tell, not merely some sweet prose to take out for a walk

Herbert Gold

I had always felt life first as a story: and if there is a story there is a story-teller

Gilbert K. Chesterton

The amount of energy spent laughing at a joke should be directly proportional to the hierarchical status of the joke teller.

Scott Adams

I am a story-teller working with a craft. My job is to use my craft - which is a different thing to my race - and tell a story well.

Gavin Hood

I'm a story teller. I really know how to tell stories of Africa.

Angelique Kidjo

My brother Billy was the joke teller. My brother Jim had a really sharp, cutting wit. And the teller of long stories, that was my brother Ed. As a child, I just absorbed everything they said, and I was always in competition for the laughs.

Stephen Colbert

I tell you a joke to have you listen to me, and then maybe I will tell you another joke that we can laugh together and feel equal. And then I will tell you a story hopefully that will make you cry. So I think that's the way that I approach the columns, as a surviving tool in a way.

Sayed Kashua

It's only a story, you say. So it is, and the rest of life with it - creation story, love story, horror, crime, the strange story of you and I. The alphabet of my DNA shapes certain words, but the story is not told. I have to tell it myself. What is it that I have to tell myself again and again? That there is always a new beginning, a different end. I can change the story. I am the story. Begin.

Jeanette Winterson

I don't want to ever tell a stereotype joke for the sake of it. I'm going to tell the story that I feel is true.

Ronny Chieng

I've been a story-teller all my life but I realized it only recently.

Isabel Allende

Death is the sanction of everything the story-teller can tell. He has borrowed his authority from death.

Walter Benjamin

I'm a storyteller, and as a story-teller, you see that each country, and therefore the language that it speaks has its very own way and very unique way of telling a story. And there's a lot to be learned from each country, and each language, and how they tell a story.

Mido Hamada

It`s always been the same for me. I`ve always enjoyed acting, and I really love good actors; they`re such unique characters. I wish I could tell stories well, or tell a joke. Any time someone can do that it`s so satisfying. Sean Penn, for instance, is a really good actor, and he can tell a good joke or story. But it`s hard to do. Most actors have special talents that make them attractive, but they`re often odd characters.

Val Kilmer

I am not a joke-teller. Stand-up, I couldn't do.

Carol Burnett

A Quote by David Shields

Quote Topics

Quote Author

Related Quotes

Related Authors