A Quote by Dave Barry

Kids have *_____ never* taken guidance from their parents. If you could travel back in time and observe the original primate family in the original tree, you would see the primate parents yelling at the primate teenager for sitting around and sulking all day instead of hunting for grubs and berries like dad primate. Then you'd see the primate teenager stomp up to his branch and slam the leaves.

Dave Barry

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All Day Around Back Back In Time Berries Branch Could Dad Day Family Guidance His Hunting Instead Kids Leaves Like Never Observe Original Parents See Sitting Sitting Around Slam Stomp Sulking Taken Teenager Then Time Travel Tree Up Would Yelling

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Dave Barry
American - Journalist
Born: July 3, 1947

If a male primate is mean to a female primate, her whole family will come after him. We don't have that sort of accountability in industrial societies.

Robert Sapolsky

Primate books are good for us. They remind us that we're primates, too. And the embarrassing primate books are best. Macachiavellian Intelligence is an excellently embarrassing primate book, and just the thing to make us blush and shuffle our feet.

Michael Bywater

The only way to stave off boredom, in a complex domesticated primate like humankind, is to increase one's intelligence. This is not appealing to the average primate, who instead invents emotional games (soap opera and grand opera dramatics).

Robert Anton Wilson

PRIMATE, n. The head of a church, especially a State church supported by involuntary contributions. The Primate of England is the Archbishop of Canterbury, an amiable old gentleman, who occupies Lambeth Palace when living and Westminster Abbey when dead. He is commonly dead.

Ambrose Bierce

When we are bad, we are worse than any primate that I know. And when we are good, we are actually better and more altruistic than any primate that I know.

Frans de Waal

None of the three great apes is considered ancestral to modern man, Homo sapiens, but they remain the only other type of extant primate with which human beings share such close physical characteristics. From them we may learn much concerning the behavior of our earliest primate prototypes, because behavior, unlike bones, teeth, or tools, does not fossilize.

Dian Fossey

You display inordinate pride for someone who has completed a task which could have been performed by a lesser primate in a shorter time.

Eoin Colfer

If anybody wants to believe they're the descendants of a primate, they're welcome to do it.

Mike Huckabee

God was created by evolution, inside the imagination of a primate.

Steve Fowler

We are just another primate but a very confused, malleable one.

Robert M. Sapolsky

[A primate ban] would force us to abandon research that could lead to treatments for Alzheimer's, motor neurone disease, strokes and many other illnesses

Tipu Aziz

To sit idly, not doing, merely experiencing, comes hard to a primate.

Elizabeth Marshall Thomas

I wasn't into chimpanzees or gorillas because I kinda felt like they were the Coke and Pepsi of the primate world.

David Longstreth

When humans invented material inequality, they came up with a way of subjugating the low-ranking like nothing ever seen before in the primate world.

Robert Sapolsky

When humans invented inequality and socioeconomic status, they came up with a dominance hierarchy that subordinates like nothing the primate world has ever seen before.

Robert Sapolsky

No one likes doing primate experiments, but some research can only be done on monkeys.

Mark Walport

A Quote by Dave Barry

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