A Quote by Zomby
When someone has to do work for me, I lose my mind. I can't help it, I'm a bit of a control freak. I've always wanted something that would depict slow-moving paintings, stunning artwork that also incorporates movement. It was hard letting someone else create that vision for me, but I love it.
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How do I think of you? As someone I want to be with. As someone as young as me, but "older," if that makes sense. As someone I like to look at, not just because you're good to look at, but because just looking at you makes me smile and feel happier. As someone who knows her mind and who I envy for that. As someone who is strong in herself without seeming to need anyone else to help her. As someone who makes me thinks and unsettles me in a way that makes me feel more alive.
Sometimes you look at me and it's like all the bullshit gets stripped off and I'm left with what's underneath and I kind of like what I see. Someone who actually fails. Someone who has absolutely no self-control. Someone who says real dickhead things like 'this is complicated.' I like that part of me, you know. I like the fact that I know I can't control you or how I feel about you and that doesn't freak me out.
Actors use who they are to be someone else, but I would hate to ever think I'm playing myself. It's imagining being someone else that is the key motivating thing for me. So when people want to know about me, it makes me a bit unnerved.
Longing surged up within me. I wanted it. Oh God, I wanted it. I didn't want to hear Jerome chastise me for my "all lowlifes, all the time" seduction policy. I wanted to come home and tell someone about my day. I wanted to go out dancing on the weekends. I wanted to take vacations together. I wanted someone to hold me when I was upset, when the ups and downs of the world pushed me too far. I wanted someone to love.
"You know, I've wondered if it's more painful to lose someone you love to death or to lose someone you love because she no longer loves you back." "I don't know," I said. "On the surface, it seems an easy question. It should be so much easier to lose someone who doesn't love you, because why would you want to be with someone who doesn't want you? But rejection's not an east road. A part of you always wonders what makes you so unlovable."
You know it's never fifty-fifty in a marriage. It's always seventy-thirty, or sixty-forty. Someone falls in love first. Someone puts someone else up on a pedestal. Someone works very hard to keep things rolling smoothly; someone else sails along for the ride.
People came at me with all sorts of offers, wanting to make me into a hard-core Cher. I had no desire for any amount of money to be reformed for someone's vision, because in the end, that's what you got: your clay in someone else's hands.
I'm also starting to wonder something else. If maybe the point of this crazy quest I'm on wasn't to help me find Willem. Maybe it was to help me find someone else entirely.
A lot of people don't know that before the artist, I wanted to be a writer and producer. That's always been a love of mine. Its easy for me to do it on myself, but it's fun to create for someone else.
In the long run, you have to have patience and integrity and a plan. You can't compromise your vision. I'm a bit of a control freak, brutal when it comes to my art because I believe it's the best way of doing it, for me. My stubbornness has given us the chance to play in some amazing places that most people never would have been allowed to play in. If I don't put a value on my work, then nobody else is going to.
A role is a role where I play someone else, but when it comes to paintings, it is me. It is unadulterated Shefali and there is no control and I can let go. I am unabashedly unapologetic about it. That is what is interesting about my paintings.
I know that people who have been closely involved with my work for many years are terrified of having to answer to someone else, someone who is not me, and that it won't be me to help them in their problems. This is my real problem.
I would love someone to follow me around with a boom box so I could have a soundtrack to record my daily moments. That would be awesome! I also wouldn't complain if I had someone doing my hair - I have a hard time with my hair.
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