A Quote by Ira Glass
The TiVo is really an amazing machine. Like everyone who has one, I totally recommend it. Just as everyone who's married will tell you to get married, and everyone who has a baby tells you to have a baby, everyone who owns a TiVo will tell you to get a TiVo, and they'll say things like 'Your life will be completely different.' It's true.
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I feel like I was in the last graduating class of commercial actors. TiVo! I was out there before TiVo came out, man.
I don't think you need to get married necessarily. Girls just assume they will get married and have babies, but that isn't the right thing for everyone.
Everyone thinks their baby is a genius. People find it delightfully refreshing when I tell them, My baby? Totally average. Like, 100 percent average.
After I got divorced, I said to myself, I will never, ever get married again. It was in cement. I went through a really rough twenty-five years, but it happened again. I fell in love. I told her, Baby, I don't want a prenuptial agreement. This is it. Everyone told me I was nuts. Well, my new wife and I are married six years and we get along great. You can make anything work if you're both givers.
I am a total workaholic. If I don't shoot for two days, I get uncomfortable at home. I won't comment on my personal life. That is totally out of bounds. When I do get married, everyone will know.
Traveling is amazing. You meet so many great, positive people. You get to see new faces all the time. I don't think that loneliness, it's not like you have no one in your life. Well, I'd say it's like . . . you can have everyone you need in your life and still be lonely. Everyone knows that. Being on the road is complicated and shitty; it's also really, really rad.
Recognizing and respecting differences in others, and treating everyone like you want them to treat you, will help make our world a better place for everyone. Care... be your best. You don't have to be handicapped to be different. Everyone is different!
Sometimes I get really shy when people recognize me, but when it was from Arrested, I'd be like, "So what do you like about it? You watch it? Will you try to watch it when it's on, and not just TiVo it? Because if you don't want it to be taken off the air...." It was really sad when it got taken off the air. But it's really cool. It was nice to have a small part in something with a big life.
It's interesting: when your wife is pregnant and you're expecting, everyone's like, 'It's incredible. Get ready. It's magic. It's the most life-changing experience you'll ever have. Brace yourself for heaven.' And then the second the baby comes, everyone's like, 'Welcome to hell! Ha ha ha! You fool!'
I'm pretty crazy about the Yankees. When I can't actually watch a game, I TiVo it. I am also a die-hard Dallas Cowboys fan. I don't tell many people that because I will get made fun on because I'm from New Jersey!
Family is paramount, I am the baby of the family, I get looked after, everyone spoils me and I couldn't live without them. They are my life, and they keep me grounded. If I get out of line, my mum will tell me off.
And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.
TIVO was a big shift in how people watched TV, but everyone understood the concept of TV. No one really understands the concept of, well why would I want my genetic information?
Please don't wait until the doctors tell you that you are going to have a baby to begin to take care of it. It is already there. Whatever you are, whatever you do, your baby will get it. Anything you eat, any worries that are on your mind will be for him or her. Can you tell me that you cannot smile? Think of the baby, and smile for him, for her, for the future generations. Please don't tell me that a smile and your sorrow just don't go together. It's your sorrow, but what about your baby? It's not his sorrow, its not her sorrow.
I remember when TiVO first came out I was all about TiVo. I came home and that thing was frozen, and I thought 'This is awful. This is the end of the world'. Then I unplugged it, and I plugged it back in, and still frozen. It was paralyzing. I called them. They said, 'Just unplug it longer.' Fixed. But it also taught me I'm an addict.
Get your butt in a chair and write. If it comes out weak or bad or clunky or ordinary, then accept that this happens to everyone. Everyone. Get it down, get it done, and fix it in the rewrite. Just like everyone from Stephen King to J. K. Rowling to Chuck Palahniuk does.
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