A Quote by Christina Milian
When it comes to my career and investing into myself, I'm going to be very particular and meticulous about how I'm doing things so that I can reach the level of success that I want. I'm also going to take some chances, because who better for me to invest in than myself?
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I have already told you Father, more than once: I’m not going to subject myself to a husband chosen for me, I’m not going to bury myself in some planter’s kitchen, and I’m not going to be a servant to some doctor or lawyer in Ilhéus. I want to live my own life. When I finish school at the end of the year, I want to go to work in an office
Career-wise, there are so many things where you don't get what you think you want. I've had to make space for, 'Do I let that debilitate me and make me feel bad about myself? And make me feel like I need to change myself in some way?' Because I think changing myself is very different from growing and learning.
My career, I look at it in a Darwinian framework. I'm going to do exactly what I want, and I'm going to survive, or I'm not. I'm not going to pander. I'm not going to change things. I'm not going to do focus groups. I'll live and die by the sword. I don't care. Because I couldn't live with myself.
I'm not running from any particular problems, I just want to take some time and figure out in my life where I can keep doing what I'm doing but in a way that I can also honor what I want to do for myself.
If I do do a sequel, I'm going to have to know for sure that the script is better than the original. So I'm going to be very careful about that because I'm not eager to repeat myself.
What's frustrating to me is when, on a low-budget movie, people don't take chances. A big-budget movie, that script's your bible; nobody's going to risk going off the page. But when you're doing a very low-budget film, why not take some chances, intellectually, artistically?
I'm an optimist.
I've always believed the future is going to be better than the past.
And I also believe I have a role in that.
The great thing about human beings, myself in particular, is that I can change.
I can do better.
If you can get up every day, stay optimistic, and believe the future is better than the past, those few things get you through a lot of tough times.
I decided to go to the night, myself, and started to go out to the fields, where I would encounter things that I cannot see very well, that I cannot detect very well, and to put myself in a position where I'm going to be suspected as a being entering a territory of other beings, and I'm also going to suspect them. I have to be very alert, and they are going to be very alert - this kind of position I felt was very much what is going on in the world for me.
Before the decathlon I'm constantly trying to convince myself that I want to do this, that I want to take myself to that place where it's going to hurt and things are going to be tough. But that's like anything - you want to give your best.
I'm at the point in my career now, where I can take a bit of time to find exactly what roles are that I want to do and not work myself into a corner. I love acting and I love who I'm becoming, as I evolve as a human being. My work is an important part of me, which may or may not be healthy, so I need to do things that I love. I want to tell interesting stories, discover things about myself, and other people. The only way to do that is to not take jobs that feel repetitive or boring to me because then you're stuck doing that job instead of finding the thing that speaks to you.
When you reach a certain level of fame or success or income all these magical things are going to happen to you. All of the sudden you're very popular. You're very pretty. Everyone loves you and that's going to fix all your problems.
I always resist seeing my own personal motivation in my work, but I guess it must be there on some level. And I do feel very much that my life follows the kinds of things I talk about in my books. I've always thought of myself as an insanely lucky person, so perhaps the success of my first two books led me to want to examine this phenomenon on some unconscious level.
Two things were falling apart, my personal life, my professional life. And I realized that all those things were supposed to make me happy, but nothing could fill me up except myself. So I went into analysis. I went to see a doctor, to talk about my lack of self-esteem. I don't know how to say it better: my lack of self-esteem, my insecurity, and how these things were not going to fill me up. And I'd better fix myself and then find out what I liked. For me, therapy was the greatest gift I could ever give myself. There's nothing I could have done for myself that would've been better.
It's beyond my control who's going to cast me or how you're going to pigeonholed, so for me, it's just I want to keep doing different things because I want to get better, so hopefully I'll be hired to do them.
I love what I do and I'm super confident in it, but I also think of myself as humble in it. It's not better than what anyone else is doing, but I'm doing the best job of being exactly who I am, and doing what I want to do today. It feels so good to me that it doesn't really matter what it means to other people because that's more about them than me. I'm in a really great place with it.
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