A Quote by Christopher Titus

Being a parent is a life sentence. From the day that kid is born until the day you die and then some. Mom, there is nothing to forgive. You gave me life. And, hey, you're not crazy anymore. Everybody thinks I am. Real funny, mom.
My mom was crazy. And her mom was crazy. And her mom's mom was crazy. Is it my turn? Am I going to live the rest of my life giggling at raindrops, wearing paper slippers ? When I go to dinner with friends, should I not use a fork 'cause I just might snap? Hey, you guys look great. How's the baby?
Mom...In my next life I have to be your son again. Then, I will definitely be a kind-hearted son that you love I love you, mom. I love you, mom. There has never been a moment that thoughts of you left my mind. Mom. That you gave birth to me. Thank you.
It's funny to be playing a mom. I mean, I'm not a mom in real life. I don't even have a dog.
So you were born, and that was a good day. Some day you'll die, and that is a shame. But somewhere in the between, you'll live a life of which we'll all dream, and nothing and no one will ever take that away.
When you have one kid, you feel like you can jet set around, and you can throw him on the hip, and you get your life done. You don't realize how easy one is until you have two. Now I'm really a mom. Oh, I am a mom now! This is for serious - I am responsible for two people now.
I remember I told my mom that I was scared. I asked her, how will I talk to everyone in English? And my mom gave me a dictionary, where I learned one day at a time.
It's so crazy: my mom and dad divorced when I was 11, and my fondest memories are in the Philippines and being raised by my mom. It's such a big part of my life.
If your dad is anything like mine, then you have no clue what to buy him for Father's Day. The only Father's Day tradition in my family is the annual conversation he and I have where I say, 'Hey, Dad, what do you want for Father's Day this year?' and he says, 'Nothing.' Then I ask my mom what I should get him and she says, 'He likes sandalwood soap, dangly jewelry and Chanel No. 5 perfume.'
I always think about which blood drive was going on in Georgia that day when that husband or mom or school teacher rolled up their sleeve and actually gave me a second chance at life. It's the ultimate gift of life, and I'm the one who was on the other end.
I've always wanted to be a mom. Because I want to give a kid all of the magical gifts my mom gave me, such as love and friendship.
And my mom has always wanted me to be who I was born to be and whoever I want to be and inspire to be in life. So my mom is really supportive and I love that.
Walking on these streets, until the night falls, my life feels to me like the life they have. By day they’re full of meaningless activity; by night, they’re full of meaningless lack of it. By day I am nothing, and by night I am I. There is no difference between me and these streets, save they being streets and I a soul, which perhaps is irrelevant when we consider the essence of things
I've actually suffered from allergies my entire life. My mom had allergies, so I was aware of what an issue they can be. Many people allow their allergies to affect their lives. As a mom with two kids and two jobs, I just can't let allergies slow me down. It's a day to day thing that can really be remedied by finding the right medication.
I remember being seven and asking my mom if I was as pretty as Monique [my best friend in grade school]. And with all the love in the world, my mom looked at me and said, 'Oh, honey, you're so funny.' So, she doesn't lie to me...she answers the question by not answering and instead tells me what she thinks is my greatest strength.
They always say, doing what I do for a living, write what you know and then people will respond to it. I luckily had a very charming, lovable mom who I think everybody could see bits and pieces of their mom in. All I had to do was write a character that was like my mom, and it made my life easier.
I don't feel like I'm a perfect mom, and then there are times at work where I feel like maybe I wasn't perfect here because of constraints on my time. But having the sum of both of those things going on in my life makes me a better mom at the end of the day, and I think gives me really important perspectives in the workplace as well.
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