A Quote by Larry the Cable Guy

I saw a sign one time that said 'hemorrhoids awareness week' at the doctor's office. Let me tell you, if you got hemorrhoids, I'm sure you are aware of it. You don't need a sign to tell anybody about it.

Larry the Cable Guy

Quote Topics

About Anybody Aware Awareness Doctor Got Hemorrhoids Let Me Me Need Office One Time Said Saw Sign Sure Tell Time Week

Quote Author

Larry the Cable Guy
American - Comedian
Born: February 17, 1963

Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids

George Carlin

Why are hemorrhoids called hemorrhoids and asteroids called asteroids? Wouldn't it make more sense if it was the other way around? But if that was true, then a proctologist would be an astronaut.

Robert Schimmel

I was in a grocery store. I saw a sign that said 'pet supplies.' So I did. Then I went outside and saw a sign that said, 'Compact cars.

Steven Wright

Right after we invaded Iraq, I put a sign on my lawn that said "War is not the answer." That sign was either defaced, ripped up, or stolen every week. I had to replace that sign twelve times.

Paul Haggis

I'm sitting on top of the world, and I've got hemorrhoids.

Rodney Dangerfield

Labels fund things and have resources for you to use. But just because you sign doesn't mean you sign yourself away so they can then tell you what to do. You need to have a plan yourself before they do.

Gabrielle Aplin

Let me tell you something... If you're anybody - not just me, but anybody - and you can put an oven that doesn't work at all on eBay and sign your name on it and sell it for 1200 bucks, and somebody will drive from Seattle to Dallas, Texas, to get it, that's pretty cool.

Vinnie Paul

One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign. He said, "Didn't you see the stop sign?" I said, "Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read"

Steven Wright

I got to meet Hulk Hogan. He took a liking to me because of my size. He saw that I was a good athlete and could move. He told me at the time, he says, 'You got a big dollar sign in your forehead, kid,' and I said, 'Well, please show it to me, because I'm broke.'

Big Show

I saw a dog in a cage. And that cage had a sign on it that said, 'I bite.' And I was like, 'That is good to know doggy, but that's not the most important thing about you. You should make a sign that says, 'I make signs.''

Doug Benson

Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, 'I've got a doctor with me 24 hours a day.' Yeah, that's always the sign of a man in good health, isn't it?

David Letterman

The one who swallows cactuses with spines should not complain about hemorrhoids.

Etgar Keret

Since a very young age, my mother made sure to tell me about the plight of women... As she raised my awareness about women's issues, she also made sure to ingrain in me the importance of being strong and independent and not to let anybody define me by their images of what women should be.

Zainab Salbi

I like to wear a "Do Not Disturb" sign around my neck so that little kids can't tell me knock-knock jokes. "Hey, how ya doin'? Knock-knock." "Read the sign, punk!"

Mitch Hedberg

And then they sign an affidavit swearing that she's not in a vegetative stage. I'll tell you. That's a doctor you really want; they can look at a picture and make a diagnosis.