A Quote by Lil Durk
Once upon a time, I was really lost. I was 18 going on 19, and I was shy. All I want to do is get money, and the way I was thinking I was going to do that was a negative route.
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By the time I was 19, my parents weren't very authoritative over my life.I didn't have any doubt about that - at that time about what I was going to do or where I was going. I was a musician. I was going to play. I had a band. We were going to make enough money to survive on.
Everybody wants to make some money, but they really love what they do. You got others who are just "money, money, money," and fast life and women and everything. They go a whole other route. That's a fight of good vs. evil. A balance. It seems that more of these stations are pushing a negative side instead of keeping a balance, and to me, that's a conspiracy that's going on all over the planet.
I really don't care if anyone thinks I'm special or not, I just want to be able to live my life without thinking about money all the time, or where I'm going to get it.
The theory is that if you take interest rates negative, people are going to say, "That's a silly game! I'm not going to lend my money to governments who want me to pay them. I am going to go into the stock market where I can get positive returns!"
I knew that's where I was going. I knew we were going to Italy. You couldn't make this movie in America at this price. I knew it was going to be big. I knew there was going to be a ship involved and that there was going to be a set as big as the ship. I thought, well, here we go. But I knew that was where he was headed. He had been going this way for some time. All directors, once they have some success, they want to spend a whole heck of a lot of money. (Something else can't hear.)
When I was 19, I thought [Brokeback Mountain] was going to be the best movie ever made. And everyone was going to see it and it was just going to be incredible. And then nobody saw it and it didn't get bought at Sundance. And it was a really great experience. Humbling. And then it's since found its way.
There's more than one way to get to the goal that you want to get to, but once you compromise your own principles, then you're lost. You're really lost.
There was a time when I was 19 when I really, really, really thought I was going crazy. I was exhausted and going through a terrible depression.
I have a certain way of thinking where I see something, and I know that I want it and I make up my mind - and that's pretty much all there is to it. It was like, This is what I want to do, and I'm going, and everything's going to work out. I'm going to be an actress. There was no way around it.
I had an idea when I was 18 or 19 to start tutoring people, like the way that people get tutored in saxophone or guitar, but for production. I really enjoyed it, but I don't have time for that any more.
There was a time I was no longer going to be black. I was going to be an 'intellectual.' When I was first looking around for colleges, thinking of colleges I couldn't afford to go to, I was thinking of being a philosopher. I began to understand then that much of my feelings about race were negative.
I thought for a long time that I was going to be a pop artist. It was around 18-19 that I started to make that a reality. I just knew that this was my destiny.
I didn't have an agent before 'Parks,' and once you're on a show, they're not going to make money off of you. So if you've already booked something without an agent, unless they really want to hustle during the downtime, there's seven months when they're not going to make money off of you.
I am absolutely against positive thinking. You will be surprised that if you don't choose, if you remain in a choiceless awareness, your life will start expressing something which is beyond both positive and negative, which is higher than both. So you are not going to be a loser. It is not going to be negative, it is not going to be positive, it is going to be existential.
When I watch the show [Westworld], it leaves me looking at the world around me in a new way. It really stays with you. And it's one of those things that you have to figure out. You're going to get little clues along the way, and every time you think you know what's up, we're going to flip it around. It's going to take you for a really awesome, crazy ride, but it's a really, really revolutionary character for women. There's a lot of really fun stuff to look forward to.
If you're running around with a negative attitude all the time, you're going to feel down, you're going to have negative results. But if you feel like you're going to make it through and you have positive thoughts, you have a much better chance to survive and be successful and happy.
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