A Quote by Mae Martin
If I could go back and tell 13-year-old self that I would be on screen with Lisa Kudrow, spending my birthday on a ghost train in Blackpool with her, I would have been beside myself.
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My 13-year-old self would have beaten up my 17-year-old self because she would be like, 'You're a sellout!'
What's amazing to me now is that I actually recall fixating on the fact that my thighs a-l-m-o-s-t touched at the top....If I could go back in time and slap my eighteen-year-old self, I would. I would tell her to snap out of it, because that's the best you thighs will ever be. You should take pictures of your thighs right now so you can remember how amazing they were!
My bread and butter is rom-com, and if I had to go back and tell my 15-year-old self watching 'When Harry Met Sally' that one day I would be writing a film in the same genre, I would have freaked out.
Usually for a movie, if you want a 13-year-old, you get a 16-year-old who looks 13, because 13-year-olds dont have that level of self-awareness.
If I went back to my 20-year-old self, what I would tell my 20-year-old self is, 'You don't know anything.' Because everyone, when they're young, they think they know what's going on in the world, and you don't.
One thing that did give me pause for thought, when I told my female friends now that I was writing about a 13-year-old girl, without exception they all said, 'I would not go back to being 13 for a million pounds.'
If I could go back in time and tell my younger self that eventually that I'd become very successful writing Dune books after Frank Herbert's death, I would have laughed myself silly, I think, at how strange that prospect would be.
I used to think that I could be successful if I pretended to be a 23-year-old black woman. I wanted to find a young black woman who would be willing to go in on this with me. I would write her novels, and then she would do the touring. I always thought I was too old and the wrong color.
Some guys don't have to work out as hard as other guys do, but if you balance all that together then your longevity is definitely going to be greater. So, I would tell my 20-year-old self not to over-train.
I told my friend - we were working on a movie together - and he gave me a script and asked me to give him notes. And they were all male characters, and I said, "You know what would make this character more interesting?" And he asked what - and it's this road trip between three guys, basically, one older man, one 30-year-old and a 13-year-old mechanic. And I said, "If you make the 13-year-old a girl, and you make her an Indian-American mechanic." And he said, "What do you mean?" And I said, "Yeah, don't change anything in the script about him, and just make it a her."
In my pantheon of comedy idols there's maybe six people: Lisa Kudrow, Conan O'Brian, Julia Louis-Dreyfuss, Martin Short. Lisa is at the top.
I'm actually a perpetual 13-year-old. I've never advanced beyond 13. Every day, tomorrow is my 14th birthday. That's my kind of humor.
If I ran into a 19-year-old version of myself, I'd just tell her to live, full out. I might also tell her to go ahead and have a few babies and not worry about the timing of it.
How attractive you are is entirely based on you feel about yourself, and if I could tell my 20-year-old self that - and really explain it - I think it would have changed my life.
What if you could reach back to your four-year old or 14-year-old who's having a difficult time and reassure them, saying it is all going to be okay. What if you could go into her mind and give her courage and mentoring and counseling that she really needs. I believe we can do this for our younger souls. I know I've done it for mine, and I know a lot of others have done it.
Whenever I had been racially vilified before it had been by peers or drunk men. It's more shocking when it's a 13-year-old child. No 13-year-old is racist.
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