A Quote by P. J. O'Rourke

I buy a tractor two years ago, and four-fifths of the tractor manual is about not tipping over, not raising the bucket high enough to hit high-tension wire... not killing yourself, basically. And in that manual, I found out - and it cost me a thousand dollars - that when the tractor is new, 10 hours into use of the tractor, you have to re-torque the lug nuts. If you don't, you will oval the holes. This is buried between the moron warnings. I never found it. I take the tractor in for its regular servicing, and they say my wheels are gone. How am I supposed to know that? "It's in the manual."

P. J. O'Rourke

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About Am Basically Between Bucket Buried Buy Cost Dollars Enough Found Four Gone High Hit Holes Hours How Killing Killing Yourself Know Manual Me Moron Never New Nuts Out Oval Over Raising Regular Say Supposed Take Tension They Say Thousand Tipping Torque Tractor Two Two Years Two Years Ago Use Wheels Will Wire Years Years Ago Yourself

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P. J. O'Rourke
American - Comedian
Born: November 14, 1947

When will they make a tractor that can furnish the manure for farm fields and produce a baby tractor every spring?

George Erik Rupp

My mother told me I said to her, at age three, 'I'm going to go to Italy and get my father in a tractor.' 'You've never seen quite so fierce a little boy as you were,' she told me. She tried to explain that I couldn't get my father in a tractor. Apparently I looked at her and narrowed my eyes and said, 'In that case, I'm going in a double-decker bus,' and stomped off. Which is kind of funny, but it's very sad, as well.

Roger Waters

I'm working on a second cookbook and am working on my love story, 'Black Heels to Tractor Wheels.'

Ree Drummond

I'm working on a second cookbook and am working on my love story, 'Black Heels to Tractor Wheels.

Ree Drummond

I take my vacation on the combine and tractor.

Jon Tester

I bought an ant farm. I don't know where I am going to get a tractor that small!

Steven Wright

Driving a tractor never appealed to me. But I never wanted to go into business. Had I not accidentally fallen into acting, I would probably have gone home from college and farmed.

Michael Beck

I spend hours mowing the lawn in absolutely straight lines on my tractor. If it's not right, I do it again.

Britt Ekland

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.

Jeff Foxworthy

There are only three things that can kill a farmer: lightning, rolling over in a tractor, and old age.

Bill Bryson

My name is Alexei Yuri Gagarin Siege of Stalingrad Glorious Five Year Plan Sputnik Tractor Moscow Dynamo Back Four Balowski. Me Dad was a bit of a Communist, know what I mean?

Alexei Sayle

It's good way to relax when I come home from the road. When you're out there on the tractor there's nobody to bother you.

Sterling Marlin

I haven't seen a tractor working all day. The country has gone sane and got back to horses. Farmers all look worse, but they feel better.

Will Rogers

You know, when Arnold Palmer came on TV with an old tractor and told me to buy Pennzoil, I bought that, and when Dale Jarrett advertises UPS, I can go along with that, too. But I don't think having an 18-year-old, somebody who's probably gotten five packages in his life and they were all 'Girls Gone Wild' videos, tell me what delivery service I should use would have much effect on me.

Kyle Petty

The only traffic I had to deal with in Alabama was a tractor.

Devlin Hodges

I strive to be my best every time I go out, and that's very stressful. After a while of doing that... it's nice to just take a deep breath, sit on a tractor.

Bill Goldberg

A Quote by P. J. O'Rourke

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