A Quote by Stanley Elkin
I've always been terrified of dying, always. It was a concern of mine long before it had to be.
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The purpose of my life had always been to free people from concern. I dubbed it, 'The church of freedom from concern,' or 'FFC.
As long as you can walk the street and you know there's a tomorrow, there's always that chance. That's how I've always been. I've always had complete belief that I would make something out of myself again, because to me, it's always been about accomplishment.
I've always been surrounded by music. The arts have been in my life for a long long time. It was just always around. I can remember as far back as third grade, me rapping, pencil on the desk rapping type s**t. So I always had a passion for it.
I was terrified the first time that I had a big problem in my business. I was obviously terrified when they diagnosed me with cancer in 1994. I was terrified when my son used to drive too fast. But I do believe in the fact that fear is not an option, so I always try to face it and not be afraid.
I recognized him then; that is, I finally comprehended what I had known but had never been able to formulate: he had always been complete. He had finished the work of becoming himself, long before any of us could even imagine such a feat was possible.
I'm terrified of learning lines, and I've always been terrified that I won't learn them.
Before I sat down and became a writer, before I began to do it habitually and for my living, there was a decades-long stretch when I was terrified that it would suck, so I didn't write. I think that marks a lot of people, a real terror at being bad at something, and unfortunately, you are always bad before you can get a little better.
When a significant other - a spouse, a parent or someone you're close to - is dying, it forces you to think about your life, about what you feel about death. What I realized from my dad's dying was that I wasn't scared of dying. But I was terrified of regrets. I was terrified of getting to the end of my life with a lot of Why didn't I's.
No longer what your belief about yourself is - if you've always been poor, if you've always been overweight, if you've always had rotten relationships, if your luck hasn't been good, if you don't attract into your life the things you want, if you've always been shy or always been aggressive - whatever it is and however long you've held it, the belief that you can't change it is not aligned with Source. Source says you can be anything. You can do anything. You're infinite.
I absolutely love what I do. And I want to dance for as long as I can and feel good about what I'm putting out there on the stage. But my goal has always been to be a principal dancer with ABT. Before I knew that there had never been a black woman, that was always my goal. I wanted to dance Odette-Odile and Kitri and "Don Quixote" and Aurora in "Sleeping Beauty." So that's still my goal. But knowing that it's never been done before, I think makes me fight even harder.
I had been performing since I was 5, so it wasn't like I hadn't been on a stage before. I was always older than my age. That's my nature. I've always been a kind of mature kid.
Long after her death I felt her thoughts floating through mine. Long before we met we had had the same dreams. We compared notes. We found strange affinities. The same June of the same year (1919) a stray canary had fluttered into her house and mine, in two widely separated countries. Oh, Lolita, had you love me thus!
I've always been terrified of violence which is probably why I keep making violent films - I'm trying to exorcise some demons or something. My mum ended up bringing me up on the edge of a big estate in south London, so I was on the periphery of violence - a lot of football violence and stuff because I was a Millwall supporter. So I've always had a very healthy fear of it, yet at the same time a fascination. I think in all of my films that's a really strong subtext... people who are terrified by violence but are yet compelled by it as well.
I've always had this thing about it not really mattering where you're from, because there's always been this big cloud over America saying you have to live in L.A. or you have to live in New York to make it. I always knew it didn't matter as long as you had the songs.
I've always been rapping before I was making money off of it. Before I made a profit, I had always been rapping.
I've been to parties where I've seen guys mess up. They've been dying to bust out those crazy embroidered corduroys all year long, and it doesn't always fly.
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