A Quote by Tucker Max

Halloween revolves around delicious candy, excessive alcohol, and horny women dressed as sluts. This also describes my vision of Heaven.

Tucker Max

Quote Topics

Alcohol Also Around Candy Delicious Dressed Excessive Halloween Heaven Horny Revolves Vision Women

Quote Author

Tucker Max
American - Author
Born: September 27, 1975

The great thing about candy is that it can't be spoiled by the adult world. Candy is innocent. And all Halloween candy pales next to candy corn, if only because candy corn used to appear, like the Great Pumpkin, solely on Halloween.

Rosecrans Baldwin

And all Halloween candy pales next to candy corn, if only because candy corn used to appear, like the Great Pumpkin, solely on Halloween.

Rosecrans Baldwin

Candy corn. For Halloween that is my favorite candy, but it doesn't come around that often and I like that.

Daniel Jacobs

I hear from many a man around Halloween that's dressed up as Mama for Halloween. It's a great costume.

Vicki Lawrence

My favorite Halloween candy is the candy corn. It comes in four colors: white, yellow, orange, brown. Those are also the stages of your teeth rotting after you eat it.

Jay Leno

In some ways, Halloween is much easier for women. They can just dress as sluts, and it's kind of a costume, if they never do any other time.

Chuck Klosterman

The worst thing about Halloween is, of course, candy corn. It's unbelievable to me. Candy corn is the only candy in the history of America that's never been advertised. And there's a reason. All of the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911. And so, since nobody eats that stuff, every year there's a ton of it left over.

Lewis Black

He wove those three threads into a talk ranging from annually spending a week at Halloween as a child collecting candy to giving candy to hundreds of children at Halloween as an adult; from childhood assistance he received from adults, particularly after his parents divorced, to saying I challenge you to be a caring adult in someone's life ... Great times call forth great leaders.

Thomas Jefferson

We had nine pails of candy for Halloween, now we are down to one. They go for a lot of the candy mixes. I think that they buy them for themselves sometimes.

Brenda V. Smith

Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, "Never take candy from strangers." And then they dressed me up and said, "Go beg for it." I didn't know what to do. I'd knock on people's doors and go, "Trick or treat."

Rita Rudner

I wasn't allowed to have sugar as a kid. We didn't have candy or soda or anything, so Easter and Halloween were my favorite times 'cause I could eat as much candy as I wanted.

Kaley Cuoco

On Halloween, kids get to assume, for one night the outward forms of their innermost dread, and they're also allowed to take candy from strangers - the scariest thing of all.

Kate Christensen

You make me feel like a candy apple, red and horny.

Paula Cole

What we think of as Halloween is really the product of media barons, city mayors, and candy-makers. You know, before the 1920s, Halloween was really a terrible, terrible night.