A Quote by Henny Youngman

The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.

Henny Youngman

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Bet Diary Horse Jockey Kept Slow Trip

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Henny Youngman
American - Comedian
March 16, 1906 - February 24, 1998

I have stood in a bar in Lambourn and been offered, in the space of five minutes, a poached salmon, a leg of a horse, a free trip to Chantilly, marriage, a large unsolicited loan, ten tips for a ten-horse race, two second-hand cars, a fight, and the copyright to a dying jockey's life story.

Jeffrey Bernard

I always kept a diary - not a diary like, 'Dear Diary, we got up at 5 A.M., and I wore the weird hair again and that white dress! Hi-yeee!' I'd just write.

Carrie Fisher

My horse's jockey was hitting the horse. The horse turns around and says "Why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind us!"

Henny Youngman

I don't mind when my horse is left at the post. I don't mind when my horse comes up to me in the stands and asks, "Which way do I go?" But when the horse I bet on is at the $2 window betting on another horse in the same race...

Henny Youngman

If you bet on a horse, that's gambling. If you bet you can make three spades, that's entertainment. If you bet cotton will go up three points, that's business. See the difference?

Blackie Sherrod

I have kept a diary as long as I can remember, and drawings are really another kind of diary.

Louise Bourgeois

You don't have to have been a horse to be a jockey.

Arrigo Sacchi

This is not about you or me; it's about a horse making history. It's sacred. Most people don't remember the trainer or jockey or owner of Secretariat or Affirmed. I have to look most of them up. This is about the horse.

Bob Baffert

I never realised that to become a jockey you needed to be a horse first.

Arrigo Sacchi

If you have a horse that isn't winning any races, sooner or later you have to get a new jockey.

Charles Oakley

It's foolish to bet on a horse without talking to him first. I know it seems silly to ask a horse who's going to win a race - but it's no sillier than asking anyone else.

Gracie Allen

From the circumstances of my position, I was often thrown into the society of horse-racers, card-players, fox-hunters, scientific and professional men, and of dignified men; and many a time have I asked myself, in the enthusiastic moment of the death of a fox, the victory of a favorite horse, the issue of a question eloquently argued at the bar, or in the great council of the nation, well, which of these kinds of reputation should I prefer? That of a horse-jockey, a fox-hunter, an orator, or the honest advocate of my country's rights?

Thomas Jefferson

Some people play a horse to win, some to place. I should have bet this horse to live.

Henny Youngman

I have kept a reading diary since I was 18. I am jealous of my friend who has kept hers since she was ten.

Diane Setterfield

Politics is like a race horse. A good jockey must know how to fall with the least possible damage.

Edouard Herriot

I don’t keep a travel diary. I did keep a travel diary once and it was a big mistake. All I remember of that trip is what I bothered to write down. Everything else slipped away, as though my mind felt jilted by my reliance on pen and paper. For exactly the same reason I don’t travel with a camera. My holiday becomes the snapshots and anything I forget to record is lost.

Alex Garland

A Quote by Henny Youngman

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