A Quote by Shawn Mendes
It's hard for me to just say, 'Wow, this is amazing - I'm famous. I'm living the dream.' I sit there and think, 'I'm scared - this can go away tomorrow.' My dad always says that I'm a tortured soul because I'm never pleased; I never feel like I deserve what I've achieved.
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I'm always trying to understand who I want to be, what I want, what I dream of. When I was a kid, I was really worried that my parents were going to bring me back to the orphanage. I was scared of tomorrow, scared that I was going to be abandoned again. So I tried to enjoy every minute of my life because maybe tomorrow wasn't going to happen. I think I live the same way today: scared of tomorrow. For someone who is considered a party boy, a guy who just has fun and drinks champagne, I'm really tortured.
From the bottom of my heart, I wanted to give up; I wanted to give up on living. There was no denying that tomorrow would come, and the day after tomorrow, and so next week, too. I never thought it would be this hard, but I would go on living in the midst of a glomy depression, and that made me feel sick to the depths of my soul. In spite of the tempest raging within me, I walked the night path calmly.
I think it's unhealthy to listen to what people say. My dad used to always say, "Don't believe in your own hype!" I was confused at the time: "Dad, there is no hype on me." But now I understand what he was saying. If someone says, "I think you're amazing" and someone says, "I think you're awful," I would like to have the same reaction to both, to be confident and calm enough to be able to take both of those and not be affected by either.
I know, it's amazing, but I never feel like I have done anything. When people say that, it makes me uncomfortable because I'm not that kind of person. I just go out there and try to do my job.
I'm just so grateful for the 10 years that I had in Sri Lanka when it was in the middle of a war and I was getting shot at, because now and again I remember glimpses of those times, and I just go, 'Wow, I'll never, ever see that again in my life. And I'm never gonna feel that, and I'm never gonna feel for a human being like that.'
My dad is an amazing human being. He - just a hard worker. Just that thing you think about with, like, just anyone who comes this country - that's my dad. He can do anything. Not just at work - comes home, he can cook, he can clean, fix the toilet, fix the car. He learned all these jobs just so he'd never have to pay another man.
I’d never seen a man cry before, only on TV. I’d never even seen Dad close to crying. Those tears looked so odd on you. It was like the strength of you just seemed to sap away. The surprise of it stopped me from being so scared.
When a child has a dream and a parent says, "It's not financially feasible; you can't make a living at that; don't do it," we say to the child, run away from home... You must follow your dream. You will never be joyful if you don't. Your dream may change, but you've got to stay after your dreams. You have to.
It's hard for me to believe sometimes that my three kids never met my dad. Because one of the things - one of the real blessings to me is that while my dad left this Earth when I was in my 20s, he's just as much a part of, of my life now than he was then, in terms of I often think of my dad. I think of what my dad might do in a certain situation. And so he continues to be, you know, my hero, my role model.
I feel like there's something terrible and wonderful and amazing that's just beyond my grasp. I have dreams about it. I do dream, by the way. It hovers over me at odd moments. And then it's gone. I feel like I'm always on the brink of something that never arrives. I want to either have it or be free of it.
I believe I deserve everything that could maybe happen. And I don't think that's a cocky thing to say because I've worked really hard, and I've never bitten the hand that fed me, and I've always been really respectful.
It's funny; I think I'm at a level of recognizability - is that even a word? - where it's just really nice. I think when people are really famous, it can be hard for them because they feel like it's an invasion. But for me, it's just a few times every day when someone will say something sweet and validating, and it's just the best.
I'm a person of my own opinions, that's how I was raised. I speak what I feel... A lot of people feel the same way but they're scared to talk. They're really scared of the truth - they only want half of the truth. I've been living like that - forever in fear - but I know what to say and how to say it now. I ain't scared of myself. Y'all may be scared; I'm not scared.
What's the difference between bulimics and anorexics?" I ask. "Anorexics are anorexics all the time," she says, "I'm only bulimic when I'm throwing up." Wow. She sounds just like my dad! "I'm only an alcoholic when I get drunk." There are all kinds of addicts, I guess. We all have pain. And we all look for ways to make the pain go away. Penelope gorges on her pain and then throws it up and flushes it away. My dad drinks his pain away. (107)
I try not to read reviews, but if it's a really important review or somebody sends it to me, I'll read it. It's really interesting when you read a review of yourself, you see this weird reflected image - it's like looking a funhouse mirror. Like, "It's sort of me, but is my neck really that elongated?" Sometimes it's vaguely embarrassing what people think of you. When I was in Italy doing this press-interview day, this guy asked me, "Are you a tortured soul?" It's embarrassing to have somebody think you're a tortured soul, or that you think of yourself as a tortured soul.
Just because my dad has been an actor, I will never say no to an opportunity to act. My dad has never been in a Dharma film, he never went on 'Koffee With Karan.' So it's not as easy as people say.
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