A Quote by Amy Sedaris
I love theatrical props: a cup filled with solid fake tea, say, or a collection of fake food, including a rubber turkey, which, during the holidays, I wrap in tinfoil so it appears to have just come out of the oven.
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Fake is not a word I like to use because there's nothing fake about what I do. It's a show, it's a predetermined outcome; we're putting on a television drama, action, comedy, whatever you want to call it - but it's not fake. Fake would be if I was just about to take a body slam, and my stuntman did it. Fake would be if I was going to take a chair shot to the head, and the chair was made of rubber. I'll tell the world that it's a show, but I hate the word fake. It's such an unfair term to us.
You know why I love Chicago? Because this is just like Baltimore. Like, you can't go to Baltimore and be fake. They gonna point you right out, like, "Nah, you fake, go ahead outta here." They're going to chew you up and spit you out if you're fake. And if you come to Chicago, you can't be fake, in terms of the love and the concern. You gotta be real. Your good intentions - people want to feel that. We don't get enough of that.
I don't think fake people living in a fake house in a fake suburb are any less dismissible or believable than a fake psychic attending a fake school in a fake town. Nothing's inherently believable about any kind of fiction, because all of it's untrue.
I have learned one thing, because I get treated very unfairly, that's what I call it, the fake media. And the fake media is not all of the media. You know some tried to say that the fake media was all the media, no. Sometimes they're fake, but the fake media is only some of the media. It bears no relationship to the truth.
I am a middle-aged opera queen in loafers that makes out I am a 16 year old death metal skater... It's all fake! My hair is fake, my body is fake and my teeth are kind of fake
Fake fat, fake colours, fake flavours, fake sweeteners: this is poison.
Everybody thinks I wear fake tan but I hate fake tan! Never been able to get on with it. I'm always linked to different fake tan brands and it's nonsense because I've probably had three fake tans in my life.
That's the beautiful thing about my show... It's truly different every week. We get to pick and choose. Every morning, the girl from production comes to me with 100 different items, and I go, 'Fake, fake, fake, fake... that's cool.'
Only a Californian would have observed that it is becoming increasingly difficult to tell the real fake from the fake fake.
I just thought of a great theory that explains everything. When I went to that party, I was abducted by aliens. They have created a fake Earth and fake high school to study me and my reactions. This certainly explains cafeteria food.
When I first joined 'Dancing with the Stars,' I did not want to do it. It's not what I like, it's not what I believe in... the judges are fake, this is fake, that is fake... there is not a lot of reality.
We don't yet call it 'Thxgvng,' because any holiday whose centerpiece sits in an oven for four to six hours, after having sat out for as long to reach room temperature, must be spelled all the way out. Cook a turkey. You'll see. This is to say that you're not just roasting a turkey, obviously.
They say it's all fake, but there's nothing fake when a guy picks you up and slams you down or throws you out of the ring onto a concrete floor. They say, 'Yeah, but you know how to land.' Well, you try landing on a concrete floor.
The first time I ever met Stephen King, he came up to me, and we went to shake hands, and he had, like, this fake rubber rat that he kind of, you know, shook at me. You know, and I said, 'No, this is a cliche - this can't be. Stephen King is trying to scare me with a fake rat?' It was just really weird.
Real person. real name. I won't divulge too much, but it's not a fake name. And it's not a fake person. I guess that's the best answer I can say: It's not a fake name and it's not a fake person. But it's not her real name and it's not a real person either.
There's a fake Facebook me. There's a fake me Twittering. Sometimes, when it was at the height of right-wing nonsense picking on me, there would be a fake me writing letters to the editor. Just totally not even something I've ever said, that will then become part of the echo chamber.
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