A Quote by Emo Philips

I go to pick up a girl in a bar. I say will you go home with me? She says I don't know, do you have cable? I say no, but the rope should work just fine.

Emo Philips

Quote Topics

Bar Cable Fine Girl Go Go Home Home Just Know Me Pick Rope Say Says She Should Up Will Work

Quote Author

Emo Philips
American - Comedian
Born: February 7, 1956

I call my mom from the car. I tell her that Neutral Milk Hotel is playing at the Hideout and she says, "Who? What? You're hiding out?" And then I hum a few bars of one of their songs and Mom says, "Oh, I know that song. It's on the mix you made me," and I say, "Right," and she says, "Well you have to be back by eleven," and I say, "Mom this is a historical event. History doesn't have a curfew," and she says, "Back by eleven," and I say, "Fine. Jesus," and then she has to go cut cancer out of someone.

John Green

I don't mind what people say about me as long as it's an opinion or the truth. If someone says, 'He's the worst comedian in the world,' that's fine. If someone says, 'His face makes me want to punch the TV,' that's fine. But if they say, 'Oh, and I know for a fact he hunts squirrels,' I go: no, no, no... that's a lie.

Ricky Gervais

Pretending is the grease of non-relationships. Pretending is how you and I get through the day without ever having to know each other. When I walk in the room, you say to me, 'How are you?' Well, you don't want to know. And, frankly, I don't want to tell you. So I just say, 'Fine,' and you go, 'Fine.' And off we go.

Mike Yaconelli

I played a girl. There's really nothing controversial about her. She's just fine. She has to be fine in order to make Sarah Jessica's character pop, I say I just play a white girl in that movie.

Claire Danes

My fear is that I go up to the girl of my dreams and say 'I'm sorry, but I've got to say hello to you,' and she slides the stool back and gets up and walks away, saying, 'Not for me, Bub. I don't want anything to do with you.'

John Mayer

The thing I want to really say is that I still mess up. I still go out there and say things on TV that I know the Lord is like, 'Sherri what are you doing?' but I know I can go back and get on my knees and say, 'Lord forgive me.' I know he will never leave me nor forsake me. The wonderful thing is He answers my prayers in spite of me.

Sherri Shepherd

My daughter [Ariana], she's a sweet, lovely girl, but she doesn't have the drive or the belief in herself. As it says in the film, I get touched up thinking about it, no one can give you a career. You have to have that inner drive. She wants it, but she doesn't know how to go for it, she's too shy. To see her perform and come on stage and feel comfortable, you know, she has talent - that was very touching, very moving, for me. She has a really beautiful sound and voice. She's a young girl still, 26, and innocent. She was kind of sheltered.

Robert Davi

A woman will toss her head and a man will say, 'Oh she's trying to pick me up,' when in fact she's not doing that at all. So, women actually have to be a little careful with what they do, because men will pick up things that they didn't mean.

Helen Fisher

Victoria Beckham is so nasty, why doesn't she just go home?! Her dresses are beautiful, but I don't care what she does. She's mean to all the people around her. She's too short to be a diva. We all use the same hairdressers, make-up artists, limo-drivers and greeters at the airports in LA and nobody has anything nice to say about her. They say she's rude. She can't always just be having a bad day.

Joan Rivers

Go on writing plays, my boy, One of these days one of these London producers will go into his office and say to his secretary, "Is there a play from Shaw this morning?" and when she says, "No," he will say, "Well, then we'll have to start on the rubbish." And that's your chance, my boy.

George Bernard Shaw

I just go to work, come home. And my wife lets me throw my clothes on the floor, and she doesn't say anything, so I must be making some money.

Ray Romano

When people say "Let it go," what they really mean is "Get over it," and that's not a helpful thing to say. It's not a matter of letting go - you would if you could. Instead of "Let it go," we should probably say "Let it be"; this recognizes that the mind won't let go and the problem may not go away, and it allows you to form a healthier relationship with what's bothering you.

Jon Kabat-Zinn

Came to . . . see you.” “But I had to go home, remember? You were supposed to say good-bye.” “Don't know why you . . . say good-bye. I say . . . hello.” Her lip quivers between reactions, but she ends up with a reluctant smile. “God you're a cheeseball. But seriously, R—

Isaac Marion

I do a bit called, 'You go, girl!' where I say, 'Don't tell me 'You go, girl!' I get it. I don't need you encourage me.' And nine times out of 10 after I finish the bit, some guy in the back will yell 'You go, girl!' I get a lot of that or 'I hear ya!' I don't generally - knock on fake wood - get mean heckling.

Retta

I’m in for work at 6.30am and one of the last to leave. I don’t want to go home. We have beds at the training ground and I go home sometimes and say to my wife: 'Do you know something, I didn’t want to leave work today!' It’s not a slight on my wife. It’s just a great position to be in when you love your job so much.