A Quote by Andy Borowitz

The baby Jesus was the last homeless person the Republicans liked.

Andy Borowitz

Quote Topics

Baby Baby Jesus Homeless Jesus Last Liked Person Republicans

Quote Author

Andy Borowitz
American - Writer
Born: January 4, 1958

I mean, I don't think I'm alone when I look at the homeless person or the bum or the psychotic or the drunk or the drug addict or the criminal and see their baby pictures in my mind's eye. You don't think they were cute like every other baby?

Dustin Hoffman

I liked the scenes with the baby, but the baby steals all the scenes that you're in. So that would get old after a while, because the baby is too perfect. I liked being high on ecstasy.

Michael Emerson

If I see a baby, I don't feel anything. It's like Theresa May walking past a homeless person.

Ellie Taylor

I love my family but my family - they're the type of people that never let you forget anything you ever did... I was in the first grade Christmas play - I'm playing Mary. Now, during the course of the play, I dropped the baby Jesus... They still talk about this. I go to my family reunion, and one of my cousins just had a baby. So I'm like, 'Oh, that's a cute little baby. Let me hold the baby...' And my aunt runs over, 'Don't you give her that baby! You know she dropped the baby Jesus!'

Wanda Sykes

The immense wealth of doctrine and institutions can become a handicap if we are trying to present all of that to a person who has lost all contact with the Church and no longer knows who Jesus is. That would be like clothing a baby with one of those enormous, heavy brocaded copes that priests and bishops used to wear. Instead, it is necessary to help this person establish a relationship with Jesus.

Raniero Cantalamessa

Most people never really sat down and got to know a homeless person, but every homeless person is just a real person that was created by God and it is the same kind of different as us; they just have a different story.

Ron Hall

Sometimes I prayed for Baby Jesus to make me good, but Baby Jesus didn't.

Barbara Kingsolver

I think the best thing a person can do is to read through the Gospels in the Bible and really look at Jesus, because if a person does this, they will realize that the Jesus they learned about in Sunday school or the Jesus they hear jokes about or the skinny, Gandhi Jesus that exists in their imaginations isn't anything like the real Jesus at all.

Donald Miller

Every week Republicans are excited about a new candidate because the one they liked last week turned out to be a moron.

Andy Borowitz

I'm not the first person to sing about God, Jesus, faith [or] any of that, and I won't be the last. And it won't be the last for me, either. If you don't like it, change the channel.

Carrie Underwood

the quote that i liked is"The moment of the baby boy is born is taught to be tough" i really liked this quote from the book that am reading because i think its the same in UAE,we teach our baby boy to be strong and to get up without crying and to depend on him self.

Steve Harvey

No touching Baby Jesus.” “But we’re his parents!” proclaimed Mary Beth, who was being generous to include poor Joseph under this appellation. “Mary Beth,” Barb Wiggin said, “if you touch the Baby Jesus, I’m putting you in a cow costume.

John Irving

Poverty is not dated. Homeless people have looked the same since the thirteenth century. Go back to the times of Tolstoy and Dostoyevsky. Look at photographs. It's amazing. The face on a homeless person is timeless.

Dustin Hoffman

I begin each day with holy Mass, receiving Jesus hidden under the appearance of a simple piece of bread. Then I go out into the streets and I find the same Jesus hidden in the dying destitute, the AIDS patients, the lepers, the abandoned children, the hungry, and the homeless. It's the same Jesus.

Mother Teresa

The real challenge the rich young man faced was not just giving up his possessions, but giving up himself. The last command Jesus says ("Come, follow me") is the one that we so often overlook and think that he must have left Jesus simply because he liked his green bills.