A Quote by Anthony Jeselnik

My perfect night would be going out to an awesome restaurant, then heading over to the Comedy Cellar to hang out with other comics, drinking beers and making fun of each other.
It doesn't really exist, this Frat Pack. We run into each other on occasions and we all like each other's films, I guess, but there isn't some big funny restaurant or bar where we all hang out. At least, if there is, they haven't invited me.
By the fourth or fifth record there was not a lot of time to sit around. We [The Replacements] stopped rehearsing. We stopped getting together and rehearsing. We'd perform, and that would take it all out of us. Then we'd be done touring and we'd be sick of each other. We'd never call each other up and hang out.
I drink every night. But I don't hang out and party. Not that I'm selling out Madison Square Garden, but in the old days after a show you could hang out with a few people. But now you're hanging around with 20 people, all of whom don't know each other, and they're all, "Leave my outgoing greeting on my voice mail, man, come on!"
To film with our family is awesome - you have to hang out with each other, and I love that because I hate being alone.
Ty and I are extremely competitive. We don't go soft on each other. We push each other, which ultimately helps us both. We race against each other in everything we do, whether it's a foot race to the car when we go out to a restaurant at night or on the racetrack. It's in the back of my mind that he's on the track with me, but we're both competitive and want to win.
I get to hang out with Billy Bob Thornton at his house. We hang out over there every time we're in L.A., because he doesn't go out. We'll hang and he'll play us some of his tunes. It's pretty awesome.
Some comics are in it for what they can get out of it. Others are in it for a love of comedy. I think those that are in it for a genuine love of comedy find each other within the circuit and become friends.
When people have light in themselves, it will shine out from them. Then we get to know each other as we walk together in the darkness, without needing to pass our hands over each other's faces, or to intrude into each other's hearts.
We have some fast guys out there. It's always fun to compete with each other at practice in the outfield. It's going to be a fun year out there.
...I would be a liar and my fans would hate me if I said to them, 'Oh, we're perfect and everything is great.' We have situations just like everyone else. We're not out in public trying to kill each other, but it's real. We love each other.
I think that if you're really going to snog someone and it's going to be a perfect snog, it's got to be between two people that really like each other, rather than someone you think is fit and you snog for the sake of it. That normally turns out not to be a good snog. But if you have two people that really like each other, then fair enough. Really, it's a little mix of kissing, a bit of lips, maybe some biting, and then a bit of tongue and stuff. It depends on what kinky little minx you've gone for on the night.
My brothers and sister and me grew up making fun of each other, the way we'd speak or move. When we get together, everyone's funny, quick, loud, and speaks on top of each other. It was like a great comedy school; nothing is precious.
If I feel good about my parenting, I have no interest in judging other people's choices. If I feel good about my body, I don't go around making fun of other people's weight or appearance. We're hard on each other because we're using each other as a launching pad out of our own perceived deficiency.
You're grateful to have brothers in the league, and then when it comes down to it, and you have a brother on the same team, that's awesome. It's a lot more support and a lot more intensity we can bring out in each other because we know each other like that.
Going out is such a hassle. The singles club scene where you sit down, talk, get to know each other, hang out-it's such a big ordeal.
Being able to play together, we're going to motivate each other; we're going to help each other out. I think it would be something special.
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