Top 67 Condom Quotes & Sayings

I would think that if you understood what sex education is, you would get down on your knees and worship a condom.

It needs to become as easy to get hold of a condom in a poor country as Coca-Cola.

Do you happen to have another Condom? I think I've discovered the cure for headaches.

I have no ability to develop muscle tone. I could do situps all day and still look like a condom full of walnuts.

I'm the type to have a bullet-proof condom and still gotta pull out.

Have you ever heard of a condom? Don't Carpathians have condoms? Because I'm thinking that if you're all that worried, a condom might be just the thing." His smile was slow in coming. "I had not thought of that. As a rule Carpathians do not need such things.

Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can't just throw your hands up and enjoy it.

No matter how strong a condom is, it won't protect you from a broken heart.

Buy a condom, ribbed for her pleasure. Turn it inside out, now it's ribbed for your pleasure.

The condom has saved so many lives and it'll save so many more lives. We really owe a great deal to the rubber tree.

Given a choice between hearing my daughter say "I'm pregnant" or "I used a condom", most mothers would get up in the middle of the night and buy them herself.

So, did the costume come with a condom, or is that sold separately?

I just remember a creepy sex-ed teacher putting a banana on a condom and then saying, "It goes in the girl if she gets all juicy." We didn't even believe it. We were like, "Well, that's weird."

There's a nice clear difference between real protection (wash your hands, or wear a condom) and the fake protection offered by institutions which often come, finally and sadly, to be much too interested first of all in protecting their own power.

but I don't want to wear a condom because I don't feel anything," and she says calmly... glaring at me,"If you don't use one you're not going to feel anything anyway.

Arnold Schwarzenegger looks like a brown condom full of walnuts.

Yesterday in Egypt, archaeologists discovered the burial site for the 50 children of Ramses II...Fifty children! What I want to know is, who decided to name a condom after this guy?

The condom has saved so many lives, and it'll save so many more lives. We really owe a great deal to the rubber tree.

The most embarrassing one is that I had no idea - and please excuse me - that you guys call a condom a rubber. My version of a rubber is an eraser. I've done that - very loudly asked for a rubber and people have given me strange looks. That was embarrassing!

Meat is dirty. I wouldn't touch a hot dog without a condom on it

President Bush was in Los Angeles yesterday where he announced his new campaign theme - “Safer, Stronger, and Tested.” Isn't that a condom ad?

Yes I usually make my kids eat their veggie chops and watch my concerts in dead silence. If they ask to watch spongebob squarepants I usually do something volatile like make them eat a yellow sponge with googly eyes on it. I hit them quite a bit, but then again I blame the condom manufacturing government for forcing me to birth them.

Fear is the condom of life. It doesn't allow you to enjoy things.

I don't wear no condom and I don't plan for no kids.

The best advice I got from my dad? Wear a condom.

Sometimes, when you get a girl pregnant, you blame the condom. His condom broke that night.

One of the problems with sex education... is that it also strips kids - especially girls - of their modesty to have every detail of anatomy, physiology and condom usage made explicit.

Here are my Mommy Messages: Wear a condom and test your Molly.

A condom is a rubber thing shaped like a wiener that hums.

I could become a nun even if I am a non-believer. I'll learn to fake it like Nick did with me. I will minister the gospel of compassion and kindness and please, always use a condom, from famine-stricken nations to war-torn dead zones. It's possible I might become a nun who kisses other nuns.

You must always remember, the most important fashion accessory is the condom.

If we only said safe sex, use a condom, we won't stop the spread of AIDS in this country.

They've bought out a condom now for people with premature ejaculation and they've put an anesthetic in the lining that makes you numb and you can last for longer. Or, you can wear it inside out and you don't have to wake anybody up!

I think the Americans fished out the same condom but found it had too many holes in it.

The condom broke. I know how stupid that sounds. It's the reproductive version of the dog ate my homework.

They’ll have to eat first. And by the time they’re finished, you’ll be back.” “With the condoms.” “Right.” “For the giant orgy you’re convinced we’re about to have in the backyard.” “Dory! Just go!” “I’ll go with,” Ray said, getting up. “I need a snack.” Which was how I ended up condom shopping with a vampire.

No one has invented a condom for the pen yet. My pen is still sexy.

Nothing ruins the mood during foreplay more than the recurring image of your sixty-five-year-old homeroom teacher trying to stretch a condom over a cucumber.

If Obama can force you to get health insurance just by calling it a tax, than there is nothing to stop him from making you gay marry an illegal immigrant wearing a condom on a hydroponic pot farm powered by solar energy.

There may be a basis in the case of some individuals, as perhaps when a male prostitute uses a condom, where this can be a first step in the direction of a moralisation, a first assumption of responsibility...

From the woman who musters the courage to ask her husband to wear a condom, counter to cultural pressures, to the woman in Parliament who demands access to affordable reproductive health services for women who need them most, daring knows no scale or status.

That is supposed to be the rallying cry of women in the age of AIDS: no condom, no sex. But the dirty little secret is that the rallying cry is a whisper.... The great unspoken on the heterosexual AIDS front has been how behavior is still determined by the old psychosexual minuet of the sexes, the lack of responsibility in young men and of assertiveness in young women.

The first time I had sex, I was scared I got the girl pregnant. And that was despite the fact we were safe. Luckily, we were fine. I would never risk not wearing a condom, it’s too much of a risk. If you’re not ready for a child, then don’t risk it.

The media is Obama's scandal condom.

If you're going to have sex, use a condom.

Put a condom in their hand and hope it don't bust.

When someone is HIV-positive and his partner says, I want to have sexual relations with you, he doesn't have to do that. But when he does, he has to use a condom.

The Catholic Church - it's so difficult because I don't want say anything offensive but it makes me very angry that religious leaders from this faith have tried to respond negatively to sexual education and to the promotion of condom use

Abstinence, being faithful and correct and consistent condom use are the only ways to successfully reach everyone when discussing HIV prevention. I believe that the abstinence message alone does not solve the AIDS epidemic.

What is it that you think about just before you get a condom? Sex!

I wouldn't touch a hot dog unless you put a condom on it! You realize that the job of a hot dog is to use parts of the animal that the Chinese can't figure out how to make into a belt?

I know the Pope is opposed to the use of condoms. All I can say is, I am a spiritual man and I've been happily married for 21 years. I don't even know what a condom is anymore.

You know, the condom is the glass slipper of our generation. You slip it on when you meet a stranger. You dance all night, then you throw it away.

I didn't lose my virginity until I was 18 The first time was a nightmare. Who shows you how to use a condom?

But certainly in Uganda, Mozambique and South Africa, people don't really talk about sex and certainly religious leaders - some of them - up to now have been very unwilling to accept, for instance, the promotion of condom use

If I could be the "condom queen" and get every young person who engaged in sex to use a condom in the United States, I would weara crown on my head with a condom on it! I would!

An amicable divorce is like a ventilated condom; it just doesn't work.

You have to pretend like you want to use a condom. I like to say something fun when I bring it up, but honest. I'll be like, 'You're going to want to wear this. I've had a busy month.

Oh yeah, this was so comforting. Like a porcupine in a condom factory.’ (Danger)

Me? I like wearing a condom. It means I'm having sex. I already spend most of my time NOT wearing one. It's like a tuxedo - I enjoy putting one on for special occasions.