Top 84 Arse Quotes & Sayings

To plunder, to lie, to show your arse, are three essentials for climbing high.

It takes a bomb under his arse to make Hitler see logic.

Dance music was on its arse before we came along.

I thought the fart was a human thing. It's something to do with like, arse cheeks, or whatever.

A politician is an arse upon which everyone has sat except a man.

A Duke couldn't have the arse hanging out of his trousers when meeting foreign diplomats. Actually even plain old Sam Vimes never had the arse hanging out of his trousers, either, but no one would have actually started a war if he had.

Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse ... but enough about Kanye West

Not that i had a big arse but even that was toned.

Whether I fall on my feet or fall on my arse, I dunno. You've got to take those risks.

I am naive. I make mistakes - But I don't give a rat's arse how I am perceived!

Whoever designed this frigging map was having a laugh. Just around the corner, my arse.

I'm at the age where i don't have to kiss arse or play nice!

I always try to remember that praise and a slap on your back is only 6 inches away from a kick up the arse!

People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

If you covered a broom handle with oil and shoved it up my arse, then put me on a trampoline, in a lift, I could write a better song on the walls.

Tony Abbott would do anything but sell his arse

It's interesting to see the dislocation between how people perceive a person visually. Apparently on the radio I'm blonde with a big arse.

I'll tell you what pressure is. Pressure is a Messerschmitt up your arse. Playing cricket is not.

I'm a big fan of the Mars Bar Diet. You don't eat the Mars bar, you stick it up your arse and let a rottweiler chase you home.

I've always wanted to kick a duck up the arse

If his Majesty is resolved to have my head, he may make a whistle of my arse if he pleases.

Now I'm not an expert at mathematics, but I calculated it would take at least three of me to take on one third of one of them, even if they were attacking me with just their arse.

The other man's arse is always cleaner!

That is NOT the arse of a £7million player!

A fart is just your arse applauding.

If you want to get on in life get off your arse because it ain't going to come to you. And if it does come to you and you're not off your arse then you ain't going to keep it very long.

I'd like to have a business card saying: Bruce Norris kicked your arse.

You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.

My arse contemplates those who talk behind my back.

Is man a savage at heart, skinned o'er with fragile Manners? Or is savagery but a faint taint in the natural man's gentility, which erupts now and again like pimples on an angel's arse?

Destiny can sometimes be history coming back to bite you in the arse.

You must have stuck a finger up your arse at least once.

Some smart man once said that on the most exalted throne in the world, we are seated on nothing but our own arse.

Analytically speaking, Sigmund Freud talked out of his arse

Having just had a baby, I'm not going to be thinking about my arse.

The word arse is as much god as the word face. It must be so, otherwise you cut off your god at the waist.

The only thing I can do is wipe my arse, brush my teeth, turn up and do the best work I can.

Yeah, arrest that man on the crime of having 8 Chicken McNuggets stuck up his arse.

Young people can be disruptive and screw up classes. But even if they are being a pain in the arse it's a cry for help - they don't feel like they are being listened to.

I've been a poser for f--ing years. I say, pose your arse off. You know, have a laugh.

When its comes to music and books 'OK' is not good enough. We need creative work that floors us! That we can't believe the beauty and brains and style and cool of. 'OK' can kiss my arse.

When you look at pornography, the women become objects, whereas what I'm trying to do is make the person in the photograph as important as their body. And obviously, I like tits and arse, because I just do. I like the sex of taking photographs.

I worked in Harrods as a sales girl and I was so lazy, I just sat on my arse all day. Now I have huge respect for shop girls. It was boring, so I tried to shoplift things, but we'd always get our bags checked.

A famous bon mot asserts that opinions are like arse-holes, in that everyone has one. There is great wisdom in this... but I would add that opinions differ significantly from arse-holes, in that yours should be constantly and thoroughly examined.We must think critically, and not just about the ideas of others. Be hard on your beliefs. Take them out onto the verandah and beat them with a cricket bat.... Be intellectually rigorous. Identify your biases, your prejudices, your privilege.

You know that scene at the beginning (of 'Pirate Radio') where I take The Count a cup of tea in the studio, and he shakes my hand, gives me a hug, and slaps me on the arse? That's genuinely the first time Tom Sturridge met Philip Seymour Hoffman. Literally, I'd hadn't seen him or exchanged words with him before. Richard just called me on set and said, 'Take him a cup of tea.' So that's what I did. And the smile of delight as he slaps me on the arse is purely mine.

The only thing I wouldn't do is sell my arse.

If I could dance like the ladies can, it would have been my arse on your screens.

There’s no way I’m going to put myself through Sandhurst and then sit on my arse back home while my boys are out fighting for their country.

Well, we went through a lot of names. But seeing as, musically, I wanted to swing through the jungle baring my arse, I thought Gorillaz was a perfect name.

An ample arse helps you to be weighed down and be grounded.

I've just been livin' a normal life, going shopping, going out, gettin' pissed. I keep sitting on my arse doing nothing.

I might take what I do very seriously, but at least I'm doing something, rather than sitting on my arse and being no-one.

The greatest monarch on the proudest throne is obliged to sit upon his own arse.

As for Gordon Brown - I've described him and Blair as two cheeks of the same arse.

The best cure for racism is to have somebody shoot at you. Man, it does not matter then what color the arse is that comes to save yours-black or white, you're ready to give it a big fat kiss.

I could be a bit of a pain in the arse. Since I've come out of my cancer, I must say I intend to be even more of a pain in the arse.

The only thing I get from the theatre is a sore arse.

I do ride a bicycle occasionally, but not those stupid stationary ones you see in gyms. I do have one of those, I must confess, but its quite literally a pain in the arse, so I dont use it.

There are two things you can be certain of: dying and getting the arse as a football coach.

One day, maybe not in the next few weeks, but certainly in the conceivable future, someone will be able to refer to me without using the word 'arse' somewhere in the sentence.