Top 82 Aspirin Quotes & Sayings

For a long time, many Republicans thought if they just took two aspirin and laid down, [Donald] Trump would go away.

Golf tips are like aspirin. One may do you good, but if you swallow the whole bottle you will be lucky to survive.

Aspirin will not bring dead hookers back to life.

Wine and cheese are ageless companions, like aspirin and aches, or June and moon, or good people and noble ventures.

The pressure gets worse the older you get. The hole starts to look the size of a Bayer aspirin.

You can't just take an aspirin and sit around and have 12 donuts and think, 'I took my aspirin so I'm not going to have a heart attack.' It's really important each person take personal responsibility for their health. You can't keep thinking that someone else is going to take care of it. You have to be part of the solution.

Were Moses to go up Mount Sinai today, the two tablets he'd bring down with him would be aspirin and Prozac.

George Brett could get good wood on an aspirin.

Sixty percent of the vegetables you see in the supermarkets came from the American Indians. They also gave us aspirin and quinine. And their model of government parallels our Senate. But their women elected the chiefs, and impeached them.

No pills, not even aspirin, and certainly no supplements ever enter my mouth - everything I need comes from my fish and vegetarian diet, which incorporates many different kinds of fruit and vegetables every week.

We protect aspirin bottles in this country better than we protect guns from accidents by children.

My head is pounding. I wish the mints were aspirin.

For toddlers I suggest leaving their mittens on year-round, indoors and out. That way they can't get into aspirin bottles, liquor cabinets, or boxes of kitchen matches.

What did I really think fifteen years ago? A nonbeliever, I felt guilty in the midst of all those believers. And since it seemed to me that they were in the right, I decided to believe, as you might decide to take an aspirin: It can't hurt and you might get better.

Cinema never saved anyone's life, it is not a medicine that will save anyone's life. It is only an aspirin.

Aspirin is perfectly legal, but if you take 13 of them motherf***ers, it'll be your last headache.

Peacekeeping works in some situations, but it very often needs other ingredients. Peacekeeping is not the aspirin of international security.

My work is a matter of fundamental sounds (no joke intended) made as fully as possible, and I accept responsibility for nothing else. If people want to have headaches among the overtones, let them. And provide their own aspirin.

I kept this to remind me of you trying to brush away the Villa Rossa from your teeth in the morning, swearing and eating aspirin and cursing harlots. Every time I see that glass I think of you trying to clean your conscience with a toothbrush.

Elizabeth Taylor's so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.

We are not bearing our crosses every time we have a headache; an aspirin tablet will take care of that. What is meant is the trouble we would not have if we were not Christians.

After the sale of Celtel, I really wanted to give the money back, and I had a number of choices - to go and buy masses of blankets and baby milk or to go into Darfur or Congo. That would have been very nice actually, but it's just like an aspirin: it doesn't deal with the problem.

The remedy now is two scotches and an aspirin, I think.

Pop music is aspirin and the blues are vitamins.

Clowns work as well as aspirin, but twice as fast.

You read the pragmatists and all you know is: not Descartes, not Kant, not Plato. It's like aspirin. You can't use aspirin to give yourself power, you take it to get rid of headaches. In that way, pragmatism is a philosophical therapy. It helps you stop asking the unhelpful questions.

THe world now has so many problems that if Moses had come down from Mount Sinai today, the two tablets he'd carry would be aspirin.

The rule of thumb is, if you feel chest pains, chew on an aspirin to thin the blood rapidly.

I would say that it's an awfully overrated aspirin and very similar to the old people's Disneyland.

Cars, toys, aspirin, meat, toasters, water - nearly every product sold has passed basic safety regulations well in advance of being marketed and sold. But consumer credit is a kind of buyer-beware, wild west. That is partly the result of history.

America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin For one dollar and use it up in two weeks.

Friends seem to be like aspirin; we don't really know why they make a sick person feel better, but they do.

A couple drinks. A couple aspirin. Repeat.

I'm sick and tired of black and white people of good intent giving aspirin to a society that is dying of a cancerous disease.

You know, back in my days they used Bayer aspirin for contraception. The gals put it between their knees and it wasn't that costly.

Personally, I think Jim Henson said it best when he said "Anybody got an aspirin? I think I've got a cold."

I realize now that taking drugs was like taking an aspirin without having a headache.

Democracy is supposed to give you the feeling of choice, like Painkiller X and Painkiller Y. But they're both just aspirin.

The whole world is drunk and we're just the cocktail of the moment. Someday soon, the world will wake up, down two aspirin with a glass of tomato juice, and wonder what the hell all the fuss was about.

People moan about drugs being tested on animals. I sort of think it depends innit. If the drug's aspirin and the monkey's got a headache, is it right?

I will lift mine eyes unto the pills. Almost everyone takes them, from the humble aspirin to the multi-colored, king-sized three deckers, which put you to sleep, wake you up, stimulate and soothe you all in one. It is an age of pills.

We have had two chickens in every pot, two cars in every garage, and now we have two headaches for every aspirin.

Movie failures are like the common cold. You can stay in bed and take aspirin for six days and recover. Or you can walk around and ignore it for six days and recover.

I don't even take aspirin.

Most things in this world don´t work, aspirin do.

Shoulder-in is the aspirin of horseback riding - it cures everything.

Aspirin is so good for roses, brandy for sweet peas, and a squeeze of lemon-juice for the fleshy flowers, like begonias.

There is no such thing as a peace of soul approach to religion. It makes of God a gigantic Bayer Aspirin; take God three times a day and you won't feel any pain.

There's an entire generation of male strength and endurance athletes, even recreational lifters, who have never gotten off the ephedrine-caffeine-aspirin stack. The process of getting off stimulants is really horrible.

Exercise is the most awful illusion. The secret is a lot of aspirin and marrons glaces.

I have found that every family has a strange remedy for any situation - from 'Use Fantastic to get the scuff off your patent leather shoes!' to 'Soak an aspirin in a glass of water to get rid of a migraine.'

Girls are always saying things like, “I’m so unhappy that I’m going to overdose on aspirin,” but they’d be awfully surprised if they succeeded. They have no intention of dying. At the first sight of blood, they panic.

I don't take any of the medications I took when I was younger: antibiotics, antacids, aspirin, asthma inhalers, ulcer medication, allergy shots.

We are living in a cultural dark age of musical pollution. You put the radio on, and five minutes later you need an aspirin.

Take charge of hidden, sneaky sources of chronic inflammation that can trigger illness and disease by wearing comfortable shoes daily, getting an annual flu vaccine, and asking your doctor why you're not on a statin and baby aspirin if you're over the age of forty.

When there's an ache, you want to be like aspirin, not vitamins. Aspirin solves a very particular problem someone has, whereas vitamins are a general "nice to have" market.

A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.

I think it says something about our culture. We, maybe, need a massive therapy session so we can concentrate on what the real issues are. This contraceptive thing. My gosh, it’s so inexpensive. Back in my days, they used Bayer Aspirin for contraception. The gals put it between their knees, and it wasn’t that costly.

Professionalism in medicine has given us medial miracles for the affluent but hospitals that will charge $35 for aspirin.

I must be right. Never an aspirin. Never injured a day in my life. The whole country, the whole world, should be doing my exercises. They'd be happier.