Top 1200 Ass Quotes & Sayings - Page 16

When Juan Antonio Samaranch said the Olympics are more important than the Catholic Church, I just couldn't believe it. I said to myself, 'Don't let your expression show that he has just made a total ass of himself. Be cool, and just keep right on talking.'

My once-keen analytical mind has become so dulled by endless hours of baking in the hot sun, thrashing about in tight chimneys, pulling at impossibly heavy loads, freezing my ass off.... so that now my mental state is comparable to that of a Peruvian Indian, well stoked on coca leaves.

I never get embarrassed on stage. Never. Never, because if you fall right on your ass it doesn't matter. I've fallen over onstage numerous times, and you always just kind of go, "oh well" and get back up.

You have never seen greatness in a Presidency; I have. It was a rich kid who you would think had every reason to be a horse's ass - Franklin Roosevelt. He was humane and wise and resourceful. He was called a traitor to his class. With George Bush, that charge would never stick.

I suggest that US foreign policy can still be defined as "kiss my ass or I'll kick your head in." But of course it doesn't put it like that. It talks of "low intensity conflict..." What all this adds up to is a disease at the very centre of language, so that language becomes a permanent masquerade, a tapestry of lies.

I met a gypsy and she hipped me to some life game, To stimulate, then activate the left and right brain. Said, 'Baby boy, you only funky as your last cut. You focus on the past, your ass'll be a has-what.' That's one to live by, or either that's one to die to.

I bizarrely think that this [Sin City] is the perfect date movie. If a guy took me on a date to see this movie, I would marry him, for sure. It's bad-ass chicks and rad dudes, who are sexy, all over the place, and there's so much cool action.

I had to break up with my last girlfriend for lying about being raped by her neighbor. But I've met her neighbor, he's a cool guy. Not like her other creepy ass neighbor though.

In my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person will still think the sun shines out your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with.

I have taken your advice and the names used are anode cathode anions cations and ions the last I shall have but little occasion for. I had some hot objections made to them here and found myself very much in the condition of the man with his son and Ass who tried to please every body.

The role of the poet is almost nothing...drearily nothing. And when he steps outside of his boots and tries to get tough as our dear Ezra [Pound] did, he will get his pink little ass slapped.

God spoke to Balaam through his ass. I believe God still speaks through asses today. So if God should choose to speak through you, you needn't think too highly of yourself.

One Negro meeting another at an all-white cocktail party cannot but wonder how the other got there. The question is: Is he for real? Or is he just kissing ass? Almost all Negroes, are almost always acting, but before a white audience - which is quite incapable of judging their performance.

[Voicing a cartoon] feels like going down a mysterious but joyful black hole. Once you relax for 15 or 20 minutes, and really go, "I don't care if I look like an ass," it's really fun to see what happens. You know that nothing is being visually judged.

In my world, a woman was the most powerful thing that I knew. Still is. A woman made the money in my house; a woman made my food. A woman beat my ass when I wasn't a good kid. Women were behind a lot of what spurred South Africa toward democracy.

The older I got, the more apparent it became that my mother was losing control over me. She fought back fiercely with black moods, silent treatments and martyrdom. And, of course, all she did was run my ass out of the house even quicker. The pressure was unbearable.

I've always said that I want to play a neo-femme action star, and I kind of got to do that in this movie-of-the-week called "Wyvern," where I got to shoot a gun and be a little bad-ass, but I'd like to do that even further. I'm dorky myself. I'll play "Zelda" for 10 hours.

The real story of our times is seldom told in the horse-puckey-filled memoirs of dopey, self-serving presidents or generals, but in the outrageous, demented lives of guys like Lenny Bruce, Giordano Bruno, Scott Fitzgerald - and Paul Krassner. The burrs under society's saddle. The pains in the ass.

One popular new plastic surgery technique is called lip grafting, or 'fat recycling,' wherein fat cells are removed from one part of your body that is too large, such as your buttocks, and injected into your lips. People will then be literally kissing ass.

If you buy something because it's undervalued, then you have to think about selling it when it approaches your calculation of its intrinsic value. That's hard. But if you buy a few great companies, then you can sit on your ass. That's a good thing.

Bruce Willis. Pain in my ass, no problem about that. We just didn't get along. We got along off camera, but shooting we just didn't get along.

It's not about going to church every week because you know there's a lot of people who go to church all of the time who aren't going to heaven. It's not even about that, it's not about kissing God's ass, it's about being aware.

A couple of months ago I hauled my white ass on stage alongside Chaka Khan and Stevie Wonder for Divas Las Vegas, singing in front of a celebrity audience. If I can hold my own there, I can hold my own at Top of the Pops, trust me.

There are two kinds of people in this world, my grandmother used to say: the Have's and the Have-not's, and she stuck to the Have's. And today, Señor Don Quixote, people are more interested in having than in knowing. An ass covered with gold makes a better impression than a horse with a packsaddle.

Everything in this country [the US] has got to be good looks and unlined faces and thin bodies and people running around in skirts slit up to their ass. It has nothing to do with thinking or with being a human being. There is life in mature people; it's not all over at 24½.

It is hard to explain to people now how hard it was being a punk back then [the 1970s]. If you had short hair, didn't wear bell bottoms and walked down the street, chances are some asshole in an El Camino was going to kick your ass.

Nature is thoroughly mediate. It is made to serve. It receives the dominion of man as meekly as the ass on which the Saviour rode.It offers all its kingdoms to man as the raw material which he may mould into what is useful. Man is never weary of working it up.

I've gotten burnt the last few years on a couple of little independent films where you get paid nothing, you work your ass off, there's no marketing budget except you going on every talk show. But you're seeing it all over. I mean, these disasters at NBC, with the morning show.

I guarantee, that if I am elected, I will take over the White House, hang out, shoot pool, scratch my ass, and not do a damn thing . . . Which is to say, if you want something done, don't come to me to do it for you; you got to get together and figure out how to do it yourselves. Is that a deal?

The leadership class of the Republican Party is a conservative Christian loony bin. The leadership of the Republican Party are a bunch of sociopathic maniacs who have their lips super-glued to the ass of the conservative right.

Attorney General John Ashcroft is in intensive care. He's suffering from a severe case of pancreatitis, which they can't really figure out because he's not really a drinker. They think he might have picked up some type of infection while wiping his ass with the Bill of Rights.

Right now with blogs and the flood of internet access, a multitude of aspiring writers think they're ready for prime time. They're not. Be great. Read. Write. Bust your ass. Learn and find your voice. As hard as you think it is, it's a hundred times harder.

Every day is a work day, and I have to work my ass off just as much as any other guy, doing whatever job they're doing. I believe in commitment and hard work, and hopefully, after that, success comes.

My struggle and my story is very much so somebody that was just kind of [an] underdog. I didn't have any cosigns, I wasn't even really good at rap, I'm one of those dudes that was never just crazy and amazing, I had to work my f***ing ass off to get good at this stuff.

Okay, you can stay at home and Spotify, or YouTube, or you can get off your ass and come listen to what real musicians making real music sound like. And, hey, it doesn't have to be me, but if I'm in town, then yeah, you should definitely check me out.

I love drama - I would say more than I even love comedy - but I like in One Mississippi that I can go from a very moving moment to a Willy Wonka tube up my ass. I like the silliness as much as I like drama.

I'll miss all my teammates. I'll miss Elvis (Andrus) and (Adrian) Beltre, Mitch (Moreland), Matt Harrison and [manager Ron] Washington. To be honest with you, I hope they go 0-162. I got friends, and I love my friends, but I hope they lose their ass.

My life is gardening, cleaning around the house and power washing. I power wash everything: my wife, the mailman with the f-cking mail, power wash his ass, f-ck my mail up, I don't care.

During 'Saturday Night Fever' at the end of the first act dance number I tried to perform a split-jump, only I can't do them so I ended up on my ass followed by the most unsightly backward roll out of it, followed by the cast falling over in laughter and a good portion of the audience too.

In my songs there's a lot of intimate, personality - driven, sweet singing, and that's the kind I actually love the most, as close to how we speak as possible.I do get to do the crazy high notes, of course. But that's also a part of me. I'm full spectrum. A vulnerable side and a side that wants to kick ass.

Yeah, leading an examined life, I always say, is a pain in the ass. It adds an element of complexity to business that most businessmen don't want to hear about. They just want to call a fabric manufacturer, and say, "Hey, give us 10,000 yards of shirting."

You can't help noticing an amazing ass. Pretty naked ladies will always get my attention. Revealingly dressed good-looking women will always get my attention, at least for a moment.

I like flawed characters very much. A lot of times I get asked to do parts that are kind of small but key - three-scene roles that are three kick-ass scenes. Growing up, watching as many movies as I did, I was always into character actors like that.

How's his appendix?""Like crap. They almost didn't catch it in time, and he's still doing the ass-plant in a hospital bed, beingdoted on by an army of hot nurses. Makes me sick.""Maybeyou should rupture something.""Any more of these stories out of you and I just might.

Faith is rarely where your head is at. Nor is it where your heart is at. Faith is where your ass is at!

I'm just worried that the technology I invented in that story ["The Pyramid and the Ass" ] will become real, and George W. Bush will be able to clone into a new body and be "re-elected" due to a clone-bill passed by him and his cronies. God forbid!

My jogging is the best thing in my life. Wake up in the morning and jog. Come to the gym and train my ass off. Be fit, make myself fit. Feel like a man. Because when you get to the ring and you start to get tired, it's very bad.

All I see is sissies in magazines smiling... Whatever happened to wildin' out and being violent? Whatever happened to catching a good, old-fashioned, passionate ass whoopin'? And getting your shoes, coat and your hat tooken?

I once did a film in which I was being chased by wolves. I had a scene where the Alpha of the pack leapt on the hood of my car and stared me down through the windshield. I will never forget staring into those eyes; this wasn't a dog - not even a tough, bad-ass dog - no, this was a wolf.

I want to win an Oscar. I want to be known for more than, like, going out. For being the 'party girl'. I hate that. I bust my ass when I'm filming and when I have time off, yeah, I like to go out and dance.

I don't think we should really be judging on Chris Brown like that until we know what Rihanna did. We all got reasons for what we do. Look at me. I'm one of the top 10 performers of all-time. I had to beat this one mermaid ass in a seafood restaurant over some shrimps. No lie. You just never know.

Marijuana is rejected all over the world. Damned. In England heroin is alright for out-patents, but marijuana? They'll put your ass in jail. I wonder why that is? The only reason could be: To Serve the Devil - Pleasure! Pleasure, which is a dirty word in Christian culture.

The best piece of business advice probably came from my mother, and she always just tells me to, you know, commit to it 100%. And to stay focused, and don't be lazy. I was never taught to really be lazy. If you're going to take on a project, do it 100%. Don't half - ass anything.

I'm looking at working with people I get on with, that respect me, that don't just see me as a piece of ass. Which I have experienced as well. I've nearly walked off very big films before, and I would, because I don't want that in my life. I want to enjoy the work I do.

You're thinking I'm one of those wise-ass California vegetarians who is going to tell you that eating a few strips of bacon is bad for your health. I'm not. I say its a free country and you should be able to kill yourself at any rate you choose, as long as your cold dead body is not blocking my driveway.

That skull had a tongue in it, and could sing once: how the knave jowls it to the ground, as if it were Cain's jaw-bone, that did the first murder! It might be the pate of a politician, which this ass now o'er-reaches; one that would circumvent God, might it not?

Maria Shriver is credited with helping Arnold win by standing by him despite allegations of groping. She had to stand by him cause Arnold had a vice grip on her left ass cheek.

In England, I've done a whole bunch of stuff where I just make a complete ass of myself. I've been doing it for 20 years, so I just gravitate toward it anyway. I'd rather do that than do the stuff where I'm supposed to be trying to look cool in some way. It's more interesting to me.

I don't necessarily think of myself as a feminist, but I'm a whole person. I'm not just breasts or ass or thighs - I'm a whole being! And it just seems like women aren't necessarily striving to be the whole of themselves.

I may sound like a megalomaniac, but I feel like I'm equipped to become a great, memorable comedian, if I keep working my ass off and staying at the pace I'm at, and I feel a responsibility to do that because of the women who have done it before me, and the ones who need to do it after me.