Top 294 Bald Quotes & Sayings

It all started with a badly timed bald joke!

There was once a Bald Man who sat down after work on a hot summer's day. A Fly came up and kept buzzing about his bald pate, and stinging him from time to time. The Man aimed a blow at his little enemy, but — whack — his palm came on his head instead; again the Fly tormented him, but this time the Man was wiser and said: YOU WILL ONLY INJURE YOURSELF IF YOU TAKE NOTICE OF DISPICABLE ENEMIES.

It has long been believed that a man who gets bald across the front of his head is a thinker while a man who gets bald on the crown of his head is a lover. It follows, certainly, that a man who gets bald all over his head thinks he's a lover.

That old bald cheater, Time.

When one of the down Easters boasted of not having any gray hair, but who was bald, Dad told the story of how St. Peter had given his choice of getting bald or getting gray and he chose the latter. Have never smoked, chewed nor used tea coffee or liquor except for medicinal purposes. The want of it is more than the worth of it.

Basically, they had asked me if I would shave my head or wear a bald cap. I said look, if you are doing a series for five years I would want to shave my hair because I would go bald with all the gum and glue from the bald cap.

Almost everyone is bald. And thats because of what they eat.

Be careful of men who are bald and rich; the arrogance of "rich" usually cancels out the nice of "bald".

Here we have a baby. It is composed of a bald head and a pair of lungs.

Women love a self-confident bald man.

If I ever go bald, I'll kill myself.

If I were an animal, I'd probably be a bald eagle, since I'm already bald and I love to fish. But I'd probably be a shaky-ass eagle because I'm afraid of flying.

I'm not bald. I'm just taller than my hair.

You can't play hockey with a bald spot, so I'm hanging up the skates.

That's the problem with having a bald head. It exaggerates the shape.

The Gerat Bald Swamp Hedgehog of Billericay displays, in courtship, his single prickle and does impressions of Holiday Inn desk clerks. Since this means him standing motionless for enormous periods of time he is often eaten in full display by The Great Bald Swamp Hedgehog Eater.

I'm the bald fat bloke off 'MasterChef.'

Eunuchs do not take the gout, nor become bald.

Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.

Certainly the principal has to be bald. Certainly the school counselor has to be bald. And the driver's ed teacher. And maybe the wood-shop teacher. Mine was.

I'm still bald, I just wear a toupee.

It's ridiculous, but it's horrible going bald. Anyone who says it isn't is lying.

Probably because I'm bald. Don't the bald people always play doctors and principals? Yeah, isn't that funny? And lawyers. A lot of lawyers and judges.

You don't find me too bald, do you? Old, and bald, and with a belly?

Given a choice between two bald political candidates, the American people will vote for the less bald of the two.

I've always wanted to be bald. I mean it, completely bald. Wouldn't it be great to be bald in the rain?

If I was at the club you know I balled(bald), CHEMO.

I went to Ethiopia, and it dawned on me that you can tell a starving, malnourished person because they've got a bloated belly and a bald head. And I realized that if you come through any American airport and see businessmen running through with bloated bellies and bald heads, that's malnutrition, too.

Baldness that appears to be normal is a disease in Europe, almost all of them are bald, and that is because of the things they eat; while among the indigenous peoples there are no bald people, because we eat other things.

Besides, a bald cap would have never looked real.

It was noted long ago that the front row of burlesque houses was occupied predominantly by bald-headed men. In fact, such a row became known as the bald-headed row. It might be assumed from this on statistical evidence that the continued close observation of chorus girls in tights caused loss of hair from the top of the head.

Being bald is no fun.

It's great to have gray hair. Ask anyone who's bald.

All beliefs are bald ideas.

I collect hats. That's what you do when you're bald.

I've seen the future! It's a bald-headed man from New York!

Many a crown Covers bald foreheads.

Well, I don't want no bald headed woman.

The bald look intimidates people. Short and nasty.

I'm going bald. I'm having a major problem with it.

A bald man driving a hybrid is a very sexy thing.

I don't want to go bald, I don't know what's coming up next.

I cannot believe how fine I am with being bald.

Bald as the bare mountain tops are bald, with a baldness full of grandeur.

When I was bald, I went through a period where I seemed to do nothing except TV programmes about being bald.

My whole career, I was pretty much bald. So, people just got to know me as being a bald guy.

We're all born bald, baby.

I'm not built to have a bald head. I've got a huge sniffer.

Can't act. Can't sing. Slightly bald. Can dance a little.

As a bald man who happens to play golf, or a golfer who happens to be bald, I'll never know the pleasures of a golf visor.

You can resent your bald spot or be glad you have a head

Better a bald head than none at all.

Do you have any bald ice cream?

Bald is the new black!

Experience is like a comb that life gives you when you are bald.

I was a young actor who was bald, but at that time, there was a thing on television that - there was a prototype or a stereotype of a principal who was bald and mean with glasses, or there was... the angry boss who was bald.

You know, I've been bald since I was 18. I started losing my hair at 17 and I've been completely bald since 20 years old.

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

See I'm used to seeing myself with hair now, so it's not a big deal. Now when I see pictures of me bald I'm like 'ew.' But people are used to seeing me bald so when I'm walking around without the hat on, I see people doing a lot of double takes.

hopes dance best on bald men's hair