Top 1200 Best Comedy Quotes & Sayings - Page 20

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Have faith in God and in yourself; that will cure all. Hope for the best, expect the best, toil for the best and everything will come right for you in the end.

I'd like to help other comedians and when I get a little older I'd like to open up a nice comedy club that is straight classy, with a straight restaurant and a chef. The whole thing, red carpet, and treating people nice, for people to come back and have a good time. That's the kind of comedy club I want to open up.

I'm still the best bantamweight in the world in my mind, yes. If I had any doubt that I was the best in the world then I shouldn't be competing. If you don't think you're going to be the best, what's the point?

Who doesn’t want a Cy Young Award? What kid didn’t grow up wanting to be the best? I’m no different. I want to be the best. I’ve always wanted to be the best.

You learn to do your best writing on story rather than off story. Very often at the beginning of their careers, writers including me do their best dialogue writing off story - the best lines, the best observations - but they haven't got enough to do with the plot to stay in.

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I really wanted to do some serious work. I really wanted to be a part of dramatic films. I wanted to show this talent, whatever that means, that I could be a dramatic actress as well. But the truth is, a) I don't know if I can, and b) I love doing comedy, and I felt almost a little embarrassed that I succumbed to the pressure. Vanity is really what it is. I feel really grateful that I am in comedy, and I love doing it.

Genesis 1 logs God's commitment to excellence when it says, "God saw all that he had made, and it was very good" (v. 31). Christians should always do good work. Christians ought to be the best workers wherever they are. They ought to have the best attitude, the best integrity, and be the best in dependability.

I remind myself: I am the best. I have the best. And I deserve the best. This is one of my personal mantras that I tell myself every morning before auditions, character work, and performances.

I feel like the best of the best in any sport not only plays well, but they get everyone around them to play really well, and the best they can.

I am not a politician going around bragging about family values or putting myself on some ridiculous virtuous pedestal. I write comedy. And I am an actor. I am not going to solve the nation's problems. I don't actually spend my life in the way the tabloids like to think I do. I actually spend 95 percent of it writing comedy. Sober. Well, nearly sober anyway.

Every tournament that I go to, I'll prepare my absolute best to play my best golf. And if my best golf is a Top-10, then so be it.

I don't feel competition at all. I just feel like I want to be the best. In everything that Michael (Jackson) did, he was the best. When he was dancing, when he was singing, he always wanted to be the best, and that's me... He's the guideline.

I'm more than a little suspicious of humor in poems, because I think it can at times be a way of getting a reaction out of a reader, or an audience, that is something closer to relief: i.e., thank god this isn't poetry, but stand-up comedy. Some poets are really funny, but more often poets are fourth rate stand up comics at best. But they benefit from the sheer relief of the audience.

The best leaders are very often the best listeners. They have an open mind. They are not interested in having their own way but in finding the best way.

Ability-wise, when you see the best of Aaron Ramsey... at his best, is he good enough for Barcelona? Yes he is, at his best.

You don't have to go out there and fit the mold of what a quarterback is supposed to be. Make your own mold and do the best at each role. If you can run with the best and throw with the best, you can be the best quarterback in your own version of the position.

I was bad at sports and picked last every day. I couldn't quite figure out what my role was in the social order, so I decided I was interested in comedy. And what was then interesting was, nobody else was interested in it at all. I didn't find one friend who was interested in comedy until I moved to California and met other comedians. And suddenly I knew hundreds of people who knew as much about SCTV as I did. But it took me 20 years to find those people.

For instance, our music, They Might Be Giants, has this element of humor, which is probably the most uptight part of what we include in our music, because we're in part very self-conscious guys, and we want our music to stand up to the test of time, not just be visceral comedy records. We love humor and comedy, but there's this aspect to it that runs counter to what is included in most music.

Greatness is a life mission being the best is not about being better than anyone else but striving to be the best that you can and bringing out the best in others

Of course the modern detective story puts off its best tricks till the last, but Doyle always put his best tricks first and that's why they're still the best ones.

When 'Malcolm in the Middle' was over, I was looking for a drama more than a comedy...but if it was a comedy that came up, it would have to be as well-written as 'Malcolm' was, and it would have to be a different kind of character than I played on that show. That's harder to come by. In drama, there were more opportunities, more options for me, and when I read ('Breaking Bad'), it was just, 'Good night, Nurse! I'm going after this sucker!'

It is true that I got recognition. But however good the comedies are, nobody will accept a good comedy director as a good director. That is the sad part of it. Nobody knows who directed the 'Laurel and Hardy' movies. They know only Laurel and Hardy. Directors will never get a good name if they direct a comedy film.

If I can do anything in this time of my career, I want to make it easier for other actresses and girls who are growing up to go, 'I get to be a part of a comedy or an action film or a romantic comedy or a thriller or just a romance, without having to wind up with someone to complete us.' I complete me. I just got lucky that, after I completed myself, I met someone who could tolerate me.

Man United, for all the doom and gloom, they're still the best club on the planet, they've got the best supporters and the best manager... United will always be United. To me, they are still the best and whatever disappointments they're having at the moment, don't worry, they'll bounce back. They always do.

Being able to compete against the best, having success against the best, and to be included with the best - that's something I really relished whenever I got on the court.

There is no difference between alternative and traditional club comedy. People think there's a difference, but I don't think so. It's like gay men versus straight men. There's no difference. They both like sucking penises. But truth be told, I don't even believe alternative comedy is a real thing anymore. I think at this point, it's just a buzz word to make things seem cool and different and hip.

I remember reading in a comedy book very long ago when I first started, a person said there's a difference between a sense of humor and a sense of funny. A sense of humor is knowing what makes you laugh and a sense of funny is knowing what makes other people laugh. The journey of comedy, in a sense, is negotiating those two worlds.

I've talked to a lot of other women in the field of comedy and none of us feel like being a woman has been a barrier to success in our lives. I can't claim to feel like I've been under some man's thumb in comedy. I've sort of always done my own thing for better or worse, and have been lucky enough to be able to perform ever since. So I'm not surprised by all the articles, but I don't know if it's necessarily true. It's not like we haven't been around.

The best thing that I learned from the best directors that I worked with is that the best answer wins. They are ego-less when it comes to doing the most important thing.

Patriotism is not endlessly bragging that out country is the best; rather it is wanting one's country to be the best that it can be and helping it to be that best, which is a very different matter.

I want to be the best. I don't know by what standard you measure being the best, but I want to go out there and perform and feel like I'm the best.

Rule number three: Best friends always think you deserve the best guy even if the best guy barely knows you exist.

You've always got to work with the best if you can, and of course, the best are the best because they're different. They expect certain standards, and they're usually very difficult people to work with.

Let us not torment each other because we are not all alike, but believe that God knew best what He was doing in making us so different. So will the best harmony come out of seeming discords, the best affection out of differences, the best life out of struggle, and the best work will be done when each does his own work, and lets every one else do and be what God made him for.

Honestly, I got the best of both worlds: groove of New Orleans meets the intensity of Texas. That's the best education I could have, the best experiences I could have.

As a writer, you're always trying to say the best thing. You're always thinking about what's the best thing to say, and what's the hardest way to say it, and what's the best line? Sometimes the best line is the simplest line. Sometimes the best line is the line that evokes more feeling than actual wordsmithing.

I've been taught from a young age to want to be the best driver... It was about being the best driver and not the best girl.

I'm working to be the best - the very best. There are a lot of people in this industry, and I'm trying to be the best. I'm working to affect history in a positive way.

I think once I had my kids that kind of made it like, 'Look, you have to be the best you can be so they have a good example at home.' You want to give them the best food, what's best for them.

I have a best friend that has been in a relationship for five years, they just broke up and now she is dating one of his best friends and [it] ruined everything. I have dated best friends.

I'd love to do a comedy. I'd love to do a two-hander like the old Leathal Weapon movies. I love those, like an action comedy with the straight man and the funny man. I'd love to do one of those. Just got to find one, find a funny man that wants to do one with me.

I was doing stand up comedy when I was 11, that's how I got started; not because I wanted to do comedy, but because we were broke, living in Echo Park in Downtown Los Angeles, from 1986, I saw the Rodney King riots; my parents didn't really work. But I wanted a new backpack, that's how I got into this business - I wanted a new backpack.

You forget that sometimes comedy is just a big night out for people. Almost every show, people come up to me and go, 'This is the first comedy show I've ever seen,' so you want to do well. If you do horribly at somebody's first time seeing live stand-up, well, you've not only tainted yourself, you've tainted a whole art form.

Scientists contribute in a variety of ways and I don't think I can singular one even including [Albert] Einstein, that I can say that he's the best. We don't work like the best basketball player and the best musician and so on. Science is a collective effort.

What really excited me at the end was the challenge of being the best I can be and prolonging my best level and playing against the best players in the world. But now that I don't have the opportunity to play against the best players in the world when it counts, in front of fans, it doesn't excite me as much.

I went to a public high school and most of the comedy was coming from the black kids and the Asian kids and the Hispanic kids. And, the coolest kids to me where always the black kids. They were always fashion forward and they always dressed the coolest. They were always the best dancers, and just the coolest people.

There was never a day when I was as good as Joe DiMaggio at his best. Joe was the best, the very best I ever saw.

I don't think I could compare myself to Macaulay Culkin, because we're pretty much two different kinds of actors. He's done a lot of comedy. He does mostly just comedy like 'Uncle Buck' and 'Home Alone' and 'Home Alone 2.' And I've done a lot of different stuff, like sad movies, like the movie about the kid with AIDS.

If something is a comedy for the sake of just comedy's sake and it doesn't have a good message, I don't have an interest in being part of it. If something is just serious and scary with no good message, I don't want to be a part of it.

I want to be eventually be the best wrestler out there, be the best grappler out there, along with being the best striker - be all of them at one time.

There's nobody you can point to in the world that doesn't make a mistake. The best players, the best business people, the best coaches. So one thing is not going to make or break a person.

Every time he steps on the floor, LeBron has to establish that he's the best. Every year is an opportunity for him to raise his level to the best of the best.

Part of making art is learning how you make it best. I'm not great at sitting down at a desk and writing for three hours. I write best verbally, talking through an idea with people, so I do my best work when I collaborate.

I do feel like guys feel pressure to be funny with me, which is kind of annoying. It's a turn-off if someone's trying hard to be funny because it feels like they're auditioning for a comedy job or something. It doesn't feel romantic to me. I get so much comedy from my life that, from a guy, I'm more looking for something sweet or romantic.

I love bad comedy more than I love good comedy, so I love open mics. Or I used to. But the thing that delights me more than anything else in an open-mic performer is when the comic has one joke that requires some kind of prop. But only one. The prop is always produced very awkwardly, and it never, ever pays off. The resulting embarrassment is savory and delicious.

I'm one of them guys that tries to make everything the best of the best, so sometimes I'm out of control with it. I'm just gonna use every feature to make me outrageous - the best.

Dave Mackay was one of the best I've ever seen. Jimmy Greaves was the greatest goal scorer, and George Best was just the best. The greatest.

Give me the third best technology. The second best won't be ready in time. The best will never be ready.