Top 1200 Best Funny Quotes & Sayings - Page 20

All countries have poor people. Yet it's a very rare country which understands the indignities of poverty, while education systems maintain the status quo. The children of the elite go to the best schools and get the best jobs, not because they are the best. We're not taking advantage of the intellectual power on this planet.

Natalie Lyalin is writing some of the best poems in the world. There is an evil in her gorgeous poem-hearts. She must have sold her heart to the devil to write like this—so beautiful, so funny and so strange. Her images stack and stack down the page without spilling, each line such a bombshell you'll start reading backward to the first line. These poems are like babies—they will pop out of trees.

I really loved making my mom laugh, and I knew that she thought that I was funny. It was really valuable, in my home growing up, to be able to have a chat and participate in a conversation and be funny. Whatever I could do to make my mom laugh could either get me out of trouble or just get me more attention or get me respect in the house.

One of my best friends growing up was Vietnamese, and he and his mom would teach me how to say certain things so I could impress my nail girls. Then the nail girls would teach me how to count to 100 and basic things like 'Thank you' and 'You're welcome.' It's funny, because any accent that I do now always turns into Vietnamese.

I wanted to be the best player, so I thought in order for me to be the best player, I had to guard the best player on the court.

Just to be able to say you're No. 1, you are the best golfer on the planet, just for one day, would be the best thing ever. Knowing that you were the best in the world would be pretty neat.

The kingdom of God is a society of the best of men, working for the best ends, according to the best methods. It's law is one word - Loyalty; It's gospel one message - Love. If you know anything better, live for it; if not, in the name of God and of humanity, carry out Christ's plan

I can understand that an audience, buying a ticket to see a picture of mine, wants to see something funny because they feel confident that at least I have a fighting chance to make a funny film when I make a film, whereas if I make a dramatic film there's one chance in a thousand that it's really going to come out great, so I understand how they feel about that and they're completely right.

In acting you do a lot of research. Audience watch Jet Li because of the fight. They watch other actors because they are funny. If they want funny, they don't want to see Jet Li, they watch the other guy. That's the reality I face, until the one day I can prove I can make film without action that is a fun movie. Then everybody will say Jet Li, hmmm.

Words can never fully say what we want them to say, for they fumble, stammer, and break the best porcelain. The best one can hope for is to find along the way someone to share the path, content to walk in silence, for the heart communes best when it does not try to speak.

We owe our troops the opportunity to serve in the best-planned, best-equipped, and best-led military force in the world, and we owe them the peace of mind that comes from knowing that they and their families will be taken care of if they sacrifice life, limb or the ability to sleep without war's nightmares. We owe them not just thanks and best wishes, but action, and action in our nation's capital.

I'm just trying to be the best basketball player, the best student, the best son, friend, etcetera. I'm just trying to get better in every facet.

I was being singled out as the best in the class at this, that and the other, nearly always to do with art. And then I was a very good swimmer from a very early age, and once again the best in the class, and when I was about five or six, I was the best in the school.

I'm not saying I'm trying to be the best. I'm gonna be the best. The best me ever. To the point where I can't lose at being me. I can't lose that life.

In real life, bad things happen and they're not funny, and then bad things happen and they can be funny. When you're unhappy you don't go an entire time without laughing. You don't go your whole life without laughing. It's just life.

If we had to play Augusta National in one hour, the best athlete would win the Masters. But as it is, they give us time to hang ourselves. Every swing is a 'thought shot'. So instead of the best athlete, you end up with the best thinker as the winner.

People want to be inspired. They want to aspire to something. ... You can have the best product, the best service, the best argument in a debate. But without the effective words you still lose. In the end you need good principles and good language if you are to succeed.

My work is very controlled. I leave nothing to chance. Chance comes afterward... Making a film is like cooking a pot au feu. You choose the best carrots, the best potatoes the best meat, etc., and you throw all that together - but if there's no soul, so to speak, it won't yield much.

I say this about everything: when I was on 'Neighbours,' I said, 'These are the best years of my life!' When I was filming 'The Wolf Of Wall Street,' I said, 'These are the best months of my life!' I always think I'm having the best time ever, and that I'll never have so much fun again.

People yell at me because I often say that everyone's my best friend, but it's true! I think that's why I like playing the best friend so much, is because I love best friends.

For me, the best journalism is usually the best storytelling, and the best stories are those of real people. Sometimes those real people are people in positions of great prominence or power or adverse situations, and sometimes it's just normal folks who help illuminate a situation, a place, a culture. And for me, that's always been the best way of telling a story.

A lot of people celebrate the '80s. I was a '90s guy. The best music, and basketball, was at its high in the '90s, with all of the best players, playing the best style of basketball in that era, and Michael Jordan winning six rings in the city I grew up in.

Our students are the best investment we can make for our country and our future economic prosperity. It's in our best interest to ensure they're receiving the best education possible and maximizing their potential.

Weird Al was something that kids would listen to. It's funny, super funny, smart. It's just kind of jokey. I remember hearing 'Smells Like Nirvana' before hearing 'Smells Like Teen Spirit.' That's how it really worked. I think it's just such a cool thing how he introduced us to so many cool bands. Even Queen - 'Another One Rides the Bus.'

I think it doesn't matter if you are the best surfer in the world. I'm going to try to be the best surfer I can be. It's not all about competing and being the best. It's more about having fun and just doing what you love.

LeBron James is the best player, hands down. He is easily moving into the territory of one of the best players of all time and may end up being the best player of all time.

Nine-tenths of the value of a sense of humor in writing is not in the things it makes one write but in the things it keeps one from writing. It is especially valuable in this respect in serious writing, and no one without a sense of humor should ever write seriously. For without knowing what is funny, one is constantly in danger of being funny without knowing it.

We are tasked to rebuild not just a damaged economy, and a debt-ridden balance sheet, but to do so by drawing forth the best that is in our fellow citizens. If we would summon the best from Americans, we must assume the best about them. If we don't believe in Americans, who will?

I have a funny relationship to language. When I came to California when I was three I spoke Urdu fluently and I didn't speak a word of English. Within a few months I lost all my Urdu and spoke only English and then I learned Urdu all over again when I was nine. Urdu is my first language but it's not as good as my English and it's sort of become my third language. English is my best language but was the second language I learned.

I think the best work of the director is to listen to what all the technicians around him have to say, but then the thing is to take the best decision, what you think is the best. Then, that is the moment where you have to have all the film in your head and imagine how all of that will fit together.

I always said a prayer before I ran, and my prayer was to win. My prayer was that God would allow me to run my best on that day, or better than my best. So whatever the outcome is, I have to be satisfied with it if I know I gave it my best effort.

It's about being the very best you can be. Nothing else matters as long as you're working and striving to be your best. Always compete. It's truly that simple. Find the way to do your best. Compete in everything you do.

Being a teenager is an amazing time and a hard time. It's when you make your best friends - I have girls who will never leave my heart and I still talk to. You get the best and the worst as a teen. You have the best friendships and the worst heartbreaks.

I've always been really ambitious, whatever I do. At school, I always wanted to be the best in the class - no, it wasn't enough to be the best in the class, I'd want to be the best in the country.

Friends ask me to pick the best 11 players, but sometimes the best 11 players are not the best team. So it's something that you have to work together.

Whoever invented the meeting must have had Hollywood in mind. I think they should consider giving Oscars for meetings: Best Meeting of the Year, Best Supporting Meeting, Best Meeting Based on Material from Another Meeting.

What is … important is that we — number one: Learn to live with each other. Number two: try to bring out the best in each other. The best from the best, and the best from those who, perhaps, might not have the same endowment. And so this bespeaks an entirely different philosophy — a different way of life — a different kind of relationship — where the object is not to put down the other, but to raise up the other.

I'm not just the best in NXT; I'm not just the best in the WWE: I'm the best on the freaking planet.

My motto is: look your best, feel your best, but most of all, be your best at any age.

When you're the best, and you know you're the best, and your contemporaries know you're the best, that's a terrific edge.

You don't ever want to go out there and not be the best. You want to be the best cop that you can. Be the best writer you can be. Everybody has their goals. Everybody has their dreams.

My theory is that nine times out of ten, if there's a depression, more a social depression than anything, it brings out the best art in black people. The best example is, Reagan and Bush gave us the best years of hiphop.

I never claimed to be the best singer, I never claimed to be the best dancer, but I do claim to be the person that can put them together best.

An hour and seven minutes after walking up. I stood with Noelle outside the Trust's house and prepared to raise my first -- and hopefully only -- demon. Three minutes after that I looked at my demon and burst into laughter. "What?" the demon asked, turning its head 360 degrees to examine itself "What's so Funny?" "Why is the Summoner laughing and crying at the same time? I don't see what's so funny. I'm a demon; where's my respect? Where's the fear and cowering before me?

There is no such thing as going on to something bigger and better than 'M*A*S*H' because there is nothing bigger and better. I have done the best I can do, and been in the best I could be in on television - with the best people.

I think Paul Scholes is the best player in England. He's got the best skills, the best brain. No one can match him. There isn't a player of his mould anywhere in the world. Paul is irreplaceable.

The thing I have learned, especially in the Internet age, probably the easiest thing in the world is to declare that something is not funny. I mean it's not actually humor to say something is not funny, but it is viewed by a lot of people - and by that I mean mainly snarky young Internet men - as a kind of humor in and of itself is putting down other people's efforts at humor. And I don't care that much anymore about that because I know how easy that is to do.

I'm just looking for the best story being told by the best people and the best part that I can find. If those things add up, I want to be a part of it whether it's a studio film or, more likely in that instance, an independent film.

Promise to think only the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best from yourself and others.

I'd love to do a comedy. I'd love to do a two-hander like the old Leathal Weapon movies. I love those, like an action comedy with the straight man and the funny man. I'd love to do one of those. Just got to find one, find a funny man that wants to do one with me.

I've constantly done my best to get the best material I can get with the best directors I can get to direct me.

m doing my best" "no,this isn't your best. We shall recognize your best when it appears

This book is the best treatment of the best American Marxist philosopher-and the best philosopher to emerge from American slums. Young Sidney Hook is essential reading for anyone interested in democratic theory and practice in America.

I have my struggles. But I'm doing whatever it takes to be an artist, to be the best technical jumper I can be, the best spinner I can be. Nothing is easy about that. But I'm doing whatever I can to be the best.

You can have the best product in the world, you can have the best motivation in the world, you can have best education in the world, you can have all the money in the world - but if you don't have direction, you'll never go anywhere.

I went to Catholic high school, so my being in this [the craft] is not going to make my grandmother very happy. It's funny, because I was the only one who is Catholic in it. You have this thing in mass where you have to genuflect before you go into the pew, so I said you have to do this [for a scene] and they said why, and I said because you have to; I don't know why, it's a rule. Or like instinct. It's funny they set in a Catholic school. I went to St. Ignatius College Prep - "Where Modesty is our Policy."

Get the best player because whether it's soccer or whether it's anything else the team with the best players wins. So focus your energy on getting the best and getting rid of the weakest.

The more I know, the best I believe. The more I know, the best I'm worshiping Him. Because, in the end Allah knows the best.

I think what it is is, if you're in school and you're not that bright or good-looking or popular or whatever, and one day you say something and someone laughs, well, you sort of grab onto it, don't you? You think, well I run funny and I've got this stupid big face and big thighs and no-one fancies me, but at least I can make people laugh. And it's such a nice feeling, making someone laugh, that maybe you get a bit reliant on it. Like, if you;re not funny then you're not...anything

The best songs don't get recorded; the best recordings don't get released; and the best releases don't get played.