Top 154 Bloke Quotes & Sayings

Bloody Jackson - he can land it on a 20 cent piece. Trouble is, it's usually in a bloke's pocket in the grandstand.

I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. He was trying to pull a fast one.

A bloke like Kyle Sandilands, he's never boring.

Australia has always encouraged the little bloke to have a go, the Aussie battler to get up.

If this bloke's a Test match bowler, then my backside is a fire engine

I'd like to be seen as an average Australian bloke. I can't think of... I can't think of a nobler description of anybody than to be called an average Australian bloke.

Richard Hammond is a reasonably fit bloke who looks after himself. Me and Jeremy aren't.

I was never a good-looking bloke. Not by a long chalk.

You always hear people saying, 'I hope I'm not turning into my dad', but I'd be honoured if I became half as decent a bloke as he is.

I get a lot of comments from people that I'm just an ordinary bloke. They immediately feel they have a closer relationship with you; they relate to you.

There's nothing the British like better than a bloke who comes from nowhere, makes it, and then gets clobbered.

I'm a really boring bloke, actually. My business is my hobby.

After you've had Alain Prost and Ayrton Senna as team-mates you don't give a **** who the next bloke is

I'm a Kiwi country boy, approachable, genuine, never getting too far ahead of myself, a straightforward kind of bloke.

The average bloke . . . hates and fears all freedom, not only for others but for himself, and stamps it out wherever possible.

I just want to be a normal lad and not known as 'that bloke off the telly.'

That’s Narmer with the spoon,” I guessed. “Angry because the other bloke stole his breakfast cereal?

You want to be appreciated for all your work as opposed to one performance, but I'll always be 'that bloke from 'Lock, Stock'.' You've got to embrace it.

Confidence in a bloke would be arrogance in a woman. For years, I didn't give interviews because I was scared of people judging me or thinking I was arrogant.

Delivering the State of the Union? That bloke couldn't deliver pizza.

I'd rather my son died in an accident than showed up with some bloke with a moustache.

I don't like to think I am a celebrity; I am just a bloke on the telly.

I hear it all the time in the street: 'It's the crisp bloke.'

If a working class Englishman saw a bloke drive past in a Rolls-Royce, he'd say to himself "Come the social revolution and we'll take that away from you, mate". Whereas if his American counterpart saw a bloke drive past in a Cadillac he'd say "One day I'm going to own one of those". To my way of thinking the first attitude is wrong. The latter is right.

I'm the bald fat bloke off 'MasterChef.'

Businesses are made by people. We've proven time and time again that you can have wonderful shop, and put a bloke in there who's no good, and he'll stuff it up. Put a good bloke in, and it just turns around like that .

I am just a normal bloke. I take my kids to parties, put the bins out.

I go through money like a bloke with three arms.

Look, I've always been a confident bloke. I'm grateful to my mother for that.

Why is there always one bloke in these boy bands who looks like he came to fix the boiler and somehow got bullied into joining the group?

The wife's run off with the bloke next door. I do miss him.

I'm not really a churchy person, although I do think Jesus was a good bloke.

The husk could be some useless bloke or losing myself and changing my DNA with bottomless grief.

I think that the ordinary bloke has an instinctive sense that it wouldn't be too bad if the weather warmed up.

This bloke was so pissed, he thought his vomit had come to life!

I am good in bed - I don't snore. I don't take the duvet. I just lay there and go straight off to sleep. That's all you want out of a bloke.

If I was fat and had a strong regional accent and was a bloke, I'd be a stand-up. Because I think I'm funny.

Some bloke said to me in a restaurant whilst I was eating my dinner, 'No, stop. Starvation suits you.'

I like to get home, flop on the couch, and watch Sky Sports News. I'm just your average bloke.

Baldness is visually enough of a stigma as it is without a big sweaty bloke on stage pointing it out.

My wife Jane left me for another man. Then I fell in love with a bloke. I have been gay ever since.

If an audience is watching you and you're a bloke - it's the same as if you're a woman. They're expecting the same: to be entertained.

One of the reasons why I don't leave Northampton is that the people don't treat me like a celebrity. I've been here for years; I'm just that bloke with long hair.

A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'

If you're a single Sheila and you're trying to find an Australian bloke, you duck off down there to Australia. You go to the Red Centre: you'll find there's a few shearers, a few stockmen, and there you will find an Australian bloke.

'Normal bloke' is my style.

To act for a living is a gift, and understanding you're a lucky bloke keeps your feet on the ground.

People presume just because you're a bigger bloke that you wouldn't be physically fit or up for the fight, but that couldn't be further from the truth.

I can't explain my popularity. I suppose I'm just an ordinary bloke, and a lot of people see a little bit of Eddie in themselves.

I phoned the local ramblers club today and this bloke just went on and on.

There is no such thing as 'social gambling.' Either you are there to cut the other bloke's heart out and eat it -- or you're a sucker. If you don't like this choice -- don't gamble.

I do pool exercises, like weightlifting but underwater. I walk, I swim... I'm pretty fit for an old bloke.

Anyone who knows me will say I'm the most normal bloke you'll ever meet.

It's a real bloke thing, not talking to people because it's not manly to get help.

Congratulations to Thierry Henry on a truly wonderful career. One of the great footballers of our time and a top bloke. Bonne chance.

When I first became famous in the United Kingdom it was helpful because it meant there wasn't a spite of 'this bloke's a drug addict,' 'this bloke f**ks all these women' because I was just making jokes about all those things already, so it made me some kind of incorruptible indefatigable, indestructible force.

I've been brewing my own beer with this ex-army bloke.

Shakespeare is just some bloke who keeps ranting "what light trough yonder window breaks" its the moon for god sakes!

In fact, in Europe, I'm more kind of this bloke what writes lots of stuff.

I once punched a bloke in the face for saying 'Hawk the Slayer' was rubbish, when what I should have said 'Dad, you're wrong.'